


Questions of Allegiance

by Hiddenfaithy



Series: Adventures of the Commonwealth Misfits [3]
Category: Fallout - Fandom, Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Brotherhood of Steel - Freeform, Chem Addiction, Comfort, Drama, F/F, Moral Dilemmas, Multi, Polyamorous relationship, Quest retelling with strong deviations, Some moments of fluff, Violent fight scenes, post-mass fusion mission, railroad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 22:55:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 46,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11954427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiddenfaithy/pseuds/Hiddenfaithy
Summary: After the events at Mass Fusion, Paladin Danse confronts Tessa Grey about her choices, leading to a downward spiral with the Brotherhood and Tessa.





	1. Confrontation

**Author's Note:**

> Uploaded from my FF.Net Account, Akari78, written from 5/15/2016 to 10/10/2016

Tessa Grey had become quite the traveler in her days since leaving Vault 111, exploring this way and that all across the Commonwealth and doing what she could to help others. She usually never left something the same as when she'd found it, either by removing everything and anything of all value, or by eliminating the nefarious souls that dwelled within. Through tenacity and skill she'd managed to start turning around some parts of the Commonwealth, her friends eagerly assisting her with such tasks as eliminating raider gangs or improving the living conditions of pre-existing settlements. Of all her friends and companions, Preston really liked that the most.

In all, she'd stuck as closely as possible to the straight and narrow; the values she'd grown up with before the war and hoped to implement in the strange and new world she'd awoken into. Everything she'd done thus far had adhered to something she'd believed in as a child and young adult. From treating others with respect, lending an extra hand to those in need, and being upfront and honest; Tessa had tried her best to not let the Commonwealth change her. However, as much as she hoped it wasn't true, it was impossible to keep the taint of the world around her from seeping into her body and soul.

Escaping from the cold crypt of Valut 111 hadn't been terribly difficult aside from the emotional turmoil she'd experienced and the confusion. Killing a few radroaches on the way out wasn't that hard to tell herself was okay, in fact she'd been a bit happy to dispose of the pests as she'd never been very keen on insects. Once she'd found herself on the surface and witnessed the utter destruction of her old home and the world she'd known, things started getting a bit harder. It was difficult to leave Nate's body in the vault, but it wasn't as if she had much of a choice. When she'd ventured out of Sanctuary after talking with Codsworth, relieved to see one thing in the Commonwealth hadn't changed, Tessa hadn't been expecting what she came upon in Concord.

She'd always known about fighting, her husband had been a soldier after all she understood rather well what war was and did to a person. She'd witnessed violence and hate and anger but nothing had ever been as raw as the savages attacking the Museum of Freedom. Before she'd even had a moment to process the violence in the streets one of them had turned towards her and sneered with such malice it chilled her to the core. Dogmeat had run forward, biting into the man's arm and saved her from catching a bullet.

A moment later Tessa dove into cover and pulled out the pistol she'd found in the Overseer's office and mentally ran through the lessons Nate had given her on how to properly wield the weapon. Never before had she thought she'd need them, but as she popped out of cover and took aim, she was beyond grateful when the bullet met its mark and went directly into the man's head, killing him. She hadn't even had a moment to process what she'd done before a hail of gunfire opened up from the raider's companions, forcing Tessa to swallow her emotions and fight tooth and nail back. It wasn't until she'd worked her way into the room Preston and his allies had been hiding in that Tessa had allowed herself to think about what she was doing, what she had done.

Since that day Tessa had been wading through a river of blood, telling herself time and time again that every drop belonged to a monster or a soulless creature no longer deserving of the title of humanity. She'd seen and fought such depraved beings that found it so easy if not pleasurable to torture and kill the poor souls struggling in the Commonwealth that it'd been possible to justify her actions to herself. To Tessa, she had been cleaning up the Commonwealth, purging it of the atrocities the best she could through diplomacy or bullets. She told herself over again and again that everyone she'd killed had been vile people, that in doing so she'd protected herself and others, just like a soldier in war did. So long as she could look at herself and say that, Tessa found she could accept her actions and keep moving on with her quest to find Shaun.

Until one day she couldn't.

The Starlight Drive-In was basked in a gloomy fog, the glow of lights and power relays like warm fireflies amongst the dark clouds of moisture clinging to the ground in the late evening hour. The sound of a radio trickled it's way to Tessa's ear as she slowly approached the settlement she had made her home, exhaustion clinging so heavily to her body her steps were sloppy, green eyes struggling to stay open as the promise of sleep filled her mind. She had just passed the remnants of an eating area of the former outdoor theater when a very angry voice cut through the air.

"Soldier!"

Tessa blinked across the lot to where Paladin Danse stood, dawned in power armor with his helmet off besides the pool of water in the center of the drive-in. All though she yawned heavily, Tessa managed to find the strength to approach the man. "What is it Danse?" She inquired, not bothering to hide the tiredness from him. "Could it possibly wait until I've caught a few winks?"

"No," he firmly growled, fingers curled around the laser weapon he held tightly. "I'm afraid it cannot."

Despite swimming in exhaustion, something about the tone in which Danse spoke brought the woman to just enough of a level of alertness that she could tell something truly was going on. "Okay then, what is it?"

"Where have you been these past few days?" Asked Danse, no concern in his voice like he once held for her. "More specifically, where were you earlier today?"

Instantly Tessa was alert, her blood running cold as her tired mind snapped into danger-induced awareness. "Danse-"

"Where were you soldier?" Swallowing dryly, Tessa could not meet his heavy gaze. "Was it Mass Fusion, is that where you were at this morning?" Accused Paladin Danse, his imposing armored body looming over the much smaller woman, Tessa averting her eyes further. "Answer me dammit!" Bellowed Danse.

"Yes!" Shouted back Tessa, snapping up towards him, freckled nose crinkled as she frowned heavily. "But you don't understand Danse, please just hear me out."

The paladin's face twisted with rage, but he stiffly nodded his head. "You will have a trial before the Brotherhood... If your explanation is good enough that I don't just decide to invoke an in-field execution." Tessa could see his finger hovering over the trigger of his laser rifle. She slowly nodded her head at his words.

Heart racing, the short blonde haired woman began to speak, keeping her gaze focused solely on Danse's dark eyes; determined to reach through to him. "I found him."

"Who?"

"Shaun."

Danse blinked, seemingly taken off-guard. "Your son?"

"Yes, my son. The entire reason I joined the Brotherhood," Tessa said before she continued on, "But it was not as I had hoped or expected. The Institute, they certainly had him but... They'd had him for sixty or so years... My baby boy was taken from me and grew up in the Institute... And now leads it."

Danse grew stiff, his eyes widened just enough that his shock seemed to overpower his rage, but it did not last for long. "Then he is the enemy," said Danse. "But I can see how your judgement has been clouded, obviously you're not thinking as a soldier should."

"Clouded?" Questioned Tessa, unable to keep the snarl out of her voice. "How would you feel if the child that was taken from you by murdering your spouse turned out to be the world's devil? I don't think anyone would be able to think like a soldier."

"However, the actions you've committed do not get swept under the rug for your misjudgment. You've been compromised soldier and it was your duty to assist in the defeat of the Institute, not join it."

"I haven't though!" Shouted back Tessa, finding herself standing on her tiptoes in order to stare into Danse's eyes better. Their shouting was starting to draw out the others that were present on the lot. Piper and Curie poked their heads out of Tessa's home while Cait and MacCready made their way around the quarters from the farm. Stirring from his slumber nearby, Dogmeat rose his head from where he was resting in his red wooden dog house, Codsworth hovering besides the small structure. However, for the both of them, it was as if they were the only two in the whole world at that particular moment.

"Then how do you explain the reports that came in this morning of you and an Institute scientist at the Mass Fusion building fighting and killing honorable soldiers who were also trying to acquisition the technology present? How do you explain the deaths of brothers and sisters at you own hands Grey?" He snarled lowly, finger twitching towards the trigger of his laser rifle once more. "Because I would like to hear it."

Lowering green eyes with shame, the blonde woman let out a shaky sigh. It was difficult to stare down someone she had once called a friend like this, but Tessa had long since learned to stand her ground. "I'm trying to free the synths..." She said at last, looking up into hard black eyes.

"Why? Our mission is to destroy the Institute and all that they are to include these synthetic imposters," said Danse, his disapproving scowl a slap to the face.

"Have you heard of the Railroad, Danse? They're dedicated to rescuing synths who want their freedom from the Institute and giving them the life they deserve. I met them when I was hunting down the Institute and trying to find a way in. I killed a courser, and they had a means of decrypting it's code and from there I began to work with them."

"So you admit your loyalty has already long since been split before finding out about Shaun? If you were a true soldier of the Brotherhood you never would have run to their side and instead would have come directly to us. Surely our scientists would have been able to crack the code and find out how to infiltrate the Institute."

"And how could I have known I could trust you?" Demanded Tessa. "All you people do is knab the technology you don't trust others with or kill those you deem undesirable like ghouls and super mutants. If I'd gone to you what do you think would have happened? The Brotherhood would have attacked. You would have gone in guns blazing and been determined on one thing alone; destroying the Institute. How could I have expected my son to understand why a strange woman was killing the people who had been around him his whole life and then claimed to be his mother? He never would have understood. Turns out though, I didn't even have to worry about that because he's a grown man leading the Institute. So then tell me, how could I bring a group of people to his doorstep to kill everyone and everything he knows, including his greatest creations? I've never agreed with the Brotherhood's stance on synthetic life, they're people too just like Curie, but you're all determined to destroy them!"

"Curie is different, she wasn't built by the Institute only her body was," said Danse dismissively, "She's not really alive and neither is that detective friend of yours. They're science that has gone too far, just as it always does in the hands of those with no morals and no one policing them. Our ancestors used technology to destroy the world and now mankind seeks to destroy itself with technology once more. It's only a matter of time before there are more of them than there are us!" He jabbed a finger at the short haired synth who scowled.

"I beg your pardon," Curie huffed from where she and the others watched nearby, Piper placing a hand on her shoulder swiftly. "This body feels emotions and many other things just as you do Monsieur Danse! You are grossly prejudiced!"

"Don't you dare talk about her like that!" Tessa's voice pitched with anger, forgetting the guilt and the exhaustion as she stopped defending herself and began protecting those she cared for. "She's not some toaster you power up, nor is she some evil robot waiting for orders to kill us all!"

"Then what is she if not our end?"

"A friend. She's a living, breathing person just like us and just like them." Tessa glanced over to Curie who gave her a brilliant smile, Piper nodding encouragingly to the blonde just as well. Seeing them supporting her gave Tessa a surge of strength, MacCready and Cait seemingly behind the pre-war woman just as well. Swallowing the last of her uncertainty, Tessa squared up to the power-armor wearing man. "You're wrong about all of them Danse, and the Railroad is my only hope of saving them. We cannot just kill a people out of fear, it's what far too many powers have tried to do in the past and each time it not only failed but it was wrong and vile."

"So you went from looking for your son to becoming an abolitionist of synths?" Scoffed Danse. "Was finding out the truth not good enough for you? That's what you wanted wasn't it?"

"What I wanted was my damn son back!"

"And I want someone I can trust!" Bellowed Danse, "Turns out neither of us get what we wished."

"You don't understand Danse, Shaun's DNA is somehow tied to the third generation of synths, all of them. They wouldn't exist if it weren't for my son, and though I do not agree with how he treats them like property I cannot deny that they are not something amazing to behold. I might not be able to get my son back, but maybe I can make his legacy something worth it, and give these people hope. The Brotherhood would crush that just like the Institute."

"They're little more than covert agents, stealth weapons and ticking time bombs."

"You know what... At this rate were just going to keep talking in circles about this and you and I both know we'll never agree." Tessa held up her hands. "I confess, I was at Mass Fusion and I was assisting a scientist in acquiring the last part they needed for a nuclear reactor. The only reason however is because I have to maintain my cover for the Railroad so I might free all the synths at once, which means I have to play along."

"You admit to fighting and killing those you were sworn to defend and give your life for?" Demanded Danse, "Brothers and sisters who thought you their ally until you put a bullet in them?"

"Yes..."

"You admit to betraying those you swore to serve and our code? The very way by which we live?"

"Yes."

"And do you admit to assisting not only one but two enemy factions in an attempt to help a dangerous technologically based race survive unchecked and free to do as they wish with themselves?"

"No, I'm only helping one."

"But to do that you must help the other."

After a long bit of silence, Tessa nodded her head. "Yes, I assisted them both."

"Do you have anything else to say traitor?" Growled Danse, raising his rifle slightly.

Green eyes lowered, Tessa let out a mournful sigh. "I didn't want to do it. The moment I realized what was to come I wanted to crawl inside of myself and die. But I did it, and with every single one I killed I felt some part of me change. I've tainted myself and there is nothing I can do to change what has been done no matter how much I wish I could, no matter how much I wish there was another way." She looked back up at him, staring into his eyes, remembering the friendship they had built and seeing none of it left between them. "I regret that I killed them, but I do not regret protecting the synths no matter the cost."

"When they told me it was you I could hardly believe it. I flat out denied them. Only now do I see it was a mistake to have ever even recruited you. Goodbye Tessa Grey..." Danse said as he leveled his rifle with the woman's head.

"Oh piss off ya metal bucket!" Shouted Cait, Danse snapping his attention towards the fiery haired woman.

"Stay out of this civilian."

"I don't think so," cut in Piper, quickly putting herself besides Tessa and clasped their hands together. "You think you can just do this, that we'll let you kill one of if not the Commonwealth's greatest hero? Not to mention our friend?"

"Stand down all of you or I will be forced to put you in the ground with the traitor!" Danse shouted in warning.

"I'd like to see you try," sneered MacCready as he pulled his sniper rifle out, taking aim at Danse's head. Each of them pulled out their respective weapon, prepping for a fight that was coming to a boil. Codsworth spun his sawblade while Dogmeat let out a low growl, Cait slipping a specially made deathclaw gauntlet onto her fist while Piper and Curie both unholstered modded 10mm pistols.

Tessa looked at them each, amazed to see their support and relieved nonetheless. As she settled her gaze on Curie who despite her hate of violence seemed more than willing to fight for her, she felt a bubble fill her chest. Slipping her attention over to Piper, first taking in their hands before memorizing the determination and ferocity on the reporter's face, that bubble erupted outwards to consume Tessa. She smiled at Danse who scowled in return, and shook her head. "I'm so sorry it's come to this Paladin... Truly... But I have to free the synths."

"Final chance Grey, come with me and no one will get hurt. You return with me to the Prydwen and Elder Maxon shall decide your punishment. Do not, and everyone here that sides with you will die."

"Last time I checked it was five of us, a robot and a dog against you. Power armor or not you're gonna get your as-butt kicked," said MacCready, slowly stepping backwards in order to gain more range for his weapon. Danse looked between all of them, well aware of their individual strengths and capabilities. Tessa did not surround herself with weaklings. Dark eyes glared into the hardened greens of Tessa, no long recognizing the woman he had met, recruited and fought side by side against some of the worst creatures in the wasteland. He'd thought she might become the next great sentinel, someone to help lead the Brotherhood on its righteous path and blaze glory across the wasteland. Instead, he was terribly wrong.

With a snarl, Danse lowered his gun. "I'm coming back," he warned, "and with the full might of the Brotherhood behind me."

"I'm sure you will."

He gave her one last searing look, and turned around to depart, stomping in his heavy armor to the east and out the entrance to the lot. Tessa watched him go with a heavy heart, and as soon as the darkness of night had swallowed him up she collapsed to her knees. She could feel hands upon her shoulders but she didn't register the comforting words of her companions. Instead she stared at where her former friend had vanished, fingers curled into fists and a silent scream in her throat.


	2. Exodus

"Blue.. Blue we have to go."

"Please Madame... I am afraid Piper is correct, we must leave immediately."

Tessa ignored her lovers as Piper and Curie attempted to help her, hands snaking beneath her shoulders to lift her up to her feet. She was still staring at where Paladin Danse had vanished into the night, imagining the paladin staring back at her with hate in his eyes. "Come on!" Said Cait urgently in her ear, shoving Tessa to her senses.

Green eyes stared at them widely, Tessa still reeling in what had just happened, and then cleared her throat. "Right... Start gathering what you can-"

"Tessa I don't think we should waste any time," interjected Piper with a worried frown, "with the Prydwen in the Commonwealth, who knows how quickly the Brotherhood can respond to a... threat..."

"We have until Danse gets back to the police station that's acting as an outpost and hail in a call," replied Tessa with a bit more certainty, shaking her head. Paladin Danse's words echoed painfully in her ears and she struggled with blocking them out. "That should take him at least three hours in that armor. I don't want to leave anything for the Brotherhood to take... And I don't think we should come back here."

MacCready gave a frown, and gestured around them. "There's more stuff here than any of us can carry," he said, "lots of weapons and other stuff worth plenty of caps..."

"Caps don't matter," countered Tessa, the shock fading as she realized that they were in very real danger. She would have time to grieve the loss of her friend later, right now she needed to focus on surviving and not getting her friends killed. The Brotherhood of Steel made examples out of traitors, and the deep burning guilt in her chest was enough to assure her that's what she was. "Get the mines and rig them around the power armor station, there's no way I'm going to let them have those suits." He gave a nod and quickly jogged to her workshop. "Curie, you know where the medicine is kept right?" She gave a nod. "Good, I need you and Piper to get everything you can and make sure the turrets are running. Let's give these bastards a fight when they get here." The pair gave her a nod each, and darted across the movie lot.

"Whatcha need from me?" Asked Cait, Codsworth floating nearby expectantly.

Scratching her head in thinly veiled panic, Tessa let out a jagged breath. "We're going to need guns if we're going to fight, get every weapon you know we'll need and scrap the rest. Codsworth, time to use those bags we gave you," she said. The robot gave an affirmative noise and floated off after Cait. The gnawing guilt in Tessa's gut wasn't fading anytime soon, and she glanced down at where Dogmeat was staring up at her with soulful brown eyes. "Hey bud," she said softly, "looks like I just got us into another big mess."

He whined, nuzzling her leg with his head and she rubbed him between his ears before rushing to her house. There were things she kept in there that no matter what she couldn't imagine losing. Having already lost her world before, Tessa had learned to let go of possessions and the like, they withered and faded in time and the thing that mattered most were the people connected to them. There was a safe beneath her bed in the floor, and she quickly shoved the metal frame to the side, Dogmeat whining in her ear but she ignored him for now. Fishing the key out of a nearby drawer, she unlocked the safe and stared at the contents. It wasn't much, the few things that Tessa dared hold onto anymore, but meant the world to her in terms of possessions. A photograph of Nate and Shaun from before the war was the first thing she picked out, and she slipped it into the breast pocket pocket of her army fatigues quickly. The article Piper had written about her when she'd first arrived in Diamond City was next, and she took great care in folding it up and tucking it into one of her pockets. A scrap of a Vault 81 jumpsuit and the empty syringe of Curie's cure-all was added to her pockets, followed by her wedding ring.

Straightening up, holding onto the only objects she truly cared about anymore, Tessa quickly set about rummaging through her house. She loaded her pockets with ammo and stimpaks, other needed items for the impending fight and she kept having to check her PipBoy to make sure she wasn't carrying more than she could though the ache in her back was starting to remind her not to bite off more than she could chew. As she emerged from the shack, exhausted and yet driven, MacCready was quickly approaching. "Hey boss, the explosives are ready to go."

"Good," she said with a nod, taking a small detonator from him and checking the time. "Do you have everything you'll need?"

"Course, I travel light anyways."

"Can you get the chems?" She asked softly, glancing to the side where she spotted Piper and Curie coming towards her.

He cocked a brow at her. "For caps or for use?"

"We don't have time for this," muttered Tessa with frustration, "both, we'll see okay just can you get them?" With a soft sigh he turned on his heels and made a bee-line for a shack on the far side of the lot. "Got everything?" She asked the two women that'd stolen her heart as they approached.

Curie gave a vigorous nod. "Oui, but where are we fleeing to?"

"There's a place not far from here to the east, Taffington Boathouse. I cleared out some bloodbugs a few weeks back, we'll be safe there."

"Alright but... Does Danse know about it?" Asked Piper warily.

With a shake of her head, Tessa started making her way to where Cait was shoving guns into the bags attached to Codsworth's chassis. "Nick helped me with that, Danse doesn't have a clue." Looking to the redheaded woman, she gave a thin smile. "Almost ready?"

Grunting, Cait closed the flap to the leather bag and cocked a brow. "Just about, ya got what ya need?"

"Piper, Curie?" Tessa asked, the pair nodding their heads. "Alright, I know you guys don't like wearing them but I need all of you to take a suit of power armor, take the best ones and leave the junkers behind."

"I thought MacCready rigged them to blow," interjected Piper.

"I've got the detonator, you'll be fine."

"What would the Brotherhood do with them?" Asked Curie curiously, worry lacing her voice.

"Power Armor is pretty much their bread and butter," said Tessa sourly, "that and other tech. I don't want to give them any more resources and ten repaired suits is a pretty sweet deal. Once you're suited up head to the gate, Cait you too." They each gave a nod and made their way towards the metal shack that held her prized trove of power armor. MacCready was soon at her side, and the pair entered the shack together with steeled expressions. The five of them donned in power armor, gleaming plates of metal and protecting their bodies, met at the gate to the Starlight Drive-In, Codsworth bobbing up and down besides them and Dogmeat whining at their heels.

"Ready?" Asked Tessa.

"We've burned enough time," grumbled Cait, "Let's go."

Nodding in agreement, Tessa turned around and stared at the place that had become her home, and gave a bitter sigh before pushing the detonator. The mines went off in a blaze of fire and explosions, sheets of metal wrenching from the detonation and shrapnel blew outwards in a flurry. She could feel the blast of heat even in the armor, and watched through the helmet as her home was destroyed. Gritting her teeth with a pain in her chest, she turned around and followed her companions that had already started heading east.

* * *

 

They were all tired by the time they arrived at the Taffington Boathouse, mud on the armored legs and Curie seemed like she was near to panicking from being inside the metal shell for so long. There was a river behind the house, curving along with the land out towards the sea a ways down, some ruinous neighborhood in the hills on the other side. A patio circled the entire house, a boathouse to the side with a glass shattered door leading inside, a fence encircling the whole house save for the water. Stepping out of the armor, Tessa breathed in relief, sweat trickling down her sore body. Cait muttered a few swears under her breath as she rolled a shoulder, while MacCready was already walking to the door into the shelter. Piper crossed over to the blonde woman, putting a hand on her shoulder but she shrugged it off and followed the sniper inside.

The first floor had been cleaned up, no bugs or debris to be found with a kitchen was on the far side. The upstairs however was another story, the roof missing the middle section of its wood and the night sky was on clear display. The wallpaper was peeling and a few sleeping bags had been thrown in a corner while the worn down furniture offered a place for the travelers to unload their gear. Curie quickly set about to organizing the bedding on the moist wooden floor, water dripping from the ceiling from some recent rainfall. Codsworth happily joined her in tidying up the place. Tessa watched with a blank face, and wasn't all that surprised when Cait turned to her with a fierce scowl.

"We should've killed him."

"The Brotherhood knows I betrayed them, it wouldn't have kept them from hunting me down," said Tessa with exhaustion, sitting down on the floor and rubbing her temples. "I'm a traitor."

"Danse was her friend," countered Piper, growling at Cait, "even if he's our enemy now. You can't blame her for not being able to shoot him."

"She's shot plenty of other people," said Cait, crossing her arms, "this one's one of the few that actually mattered."

"It wouldn't have stopped them from coming after her though."

"It would've saved us some time."

"I hate to admit it, but he's not our ally so that means we shouldn't act like it. Danse was going to kill her if we weren't there. That's not a friend if you ask me," piped MacCready, checking his bullets passively to the side.

"Why must the solution always be violence?" Interjected Curie, glaring at the man from where she'd set up a place to sleep where a roof was still above their heads.

He gave her a fierce scowl back. "Stop being so darn naive," he growled, "the Commonwealth is as shi-terrible a place as the rest of the world, violence is as commonplace as caps."

"I say," cooed Codsworth, "there seems to be no point in debating it now. What's done is done."

Tessa groaned softly, looking up at those she called her friends and stood up. "Can we not- do you hear that?" She turned around, looking out one of the windows to the west. Something was bright on the horizon, and a pit formed in her stomach as she realized what it could only be. Great plumes of smoke rose into the sky, an orange light easily seen between the dead trees in the way and the rolling hills. "They're... They're burning it down..." She uttered in shock, picturing the wooden shacks she'd spent so much time building catching flame. Lights flickered in the sky, the silhouettes of the vertibirds visible through the scope of Tessa's sniper rifle, hovering over what could only be the Starlight Drive-In. Missiles sailed through the air up at the hovering vehicles, gunfire and streaks of lasers lighting up the sky. One of the vertibirds exploded, the wreckage vanishing in the dark. "They're actually destroying it..." She whispered, lowering the weapon and her knees grew weak beneath her. Some part of her had refused to believe that they'd go so far, that they'd burn down the one place that had become home to her after the bombs had fallen. One thing was perfectly clear however, the Brotherhood was now her enemy and she would make sure she treated them as nothing but.

There was an eery silence amongst the group as they watched the Starlight Drive-In burn from afar, Curie's face awash in shock and fear while Piper tried to keep a strong front, one hand on the blonde woman's shoulder while the other was clasped with the synth's. Cait stared hard into the orange glow, hands balled into fists and ready to fight while MacCready grew quiet and busied himself with calming down the whining dog. Codsworth uttered something about the horror of it all before floating downstairs. Tessa watched silently, green eyes distant as she witnessed her new home burning from afar. They were still like that for several minutes, trapped in silence as the Starlight was razed to the ground.

"Madame?" Curie asked softly as the fires grew dimmer, the smoke still billowing into the cloudless sky. The synth seemed unsure if she should reach out to her or not, lingering besides her and Piper.

"Not now," said Tessa, "we need to rest. I'll try to have a plan by morning." She looked to the others, and gave a heavy sigh. "I'll take first shift, you guys get some sleep." Cait grumbled softly before nestling into one of the sleeping bags, MacCready shooting her a wary look before following suit.

Piper squeezed her shoulder, but Tessa's gaze was anywhere but on her. "Blue, maybe you should just let Codsworth do it, he doesn't need to sleep after all. You've been up all night."

"And the day before," said Tessa flatly, finally looking up at her with a rueful smile, "I'll be fine really. I won't get any sleep anyways so might as well do something good with it."

"Madame," chastised Curie softly, "the human body can only go so long without proper rest before suffering consequences."

"I'll be fine you two, get some rest... Please."

"The doc's right," said Piper, squatting down until she was eye level with the sitting woman, "You can take watch if you want but you're not doing it first okay?"

Green eyes flicked between the pair of determined brunets, and she gave a heavy sigh. "Alright you win... But if you don't wake me up for a shift I'm gonna be pissed," she said, getting up and joining the others in the sleeping bags. Dogmeat whined softly as she lay down, and nuzzled against her. "Sorry bud," she said softly, stroking down his back, wet licks on her face making her grimace softly. "You need a new doghouse." The german shepherd gave a soft whine, burying his face in the material of the sleeping bag. She could hear one of her two lovers moving, and felt a pair of hands on her side after a moment. She closed her eyes as Curie curled against her, the synth's soft breath falling on her neck.

Curie snuggled against her closely, as if hoping to hug all the pain she was feeling out of her but the fact of the matter was nothing was going to get that ache out of her. The thought that she'd brought this down upon herself was hovering in her mind like a heavy storm, a part of her wondering if she should have tried to stop Danse from leaving, should have begged him not to or even shot him as Cait suggested. Her stomach flopped at the notion of turning on him, pulling her gun on him all the harder than the others in the Order. It had been one thing to shoot the nameless knights and soldiers, it was another to draw her weapon on the first person to offer her some hope. Now her new home was gone, she was no doubt being hunted at that very moment and most likely her friends as well. She felt a pang of guilt to imagine she'd put her companions in more danger simply because they'd been loyal to her.

Clenching her eyes shut tight, the woman tried to clear her mind and rest but it was nigh impossible. All she could picture was the Starlight burning, soldiers in power armor checking to see where she'd gone and squads fanning the area around it. Paladin Danse stood besides Elder Maxon as she was led in chains to her trial, only to be immediately shot for her crimes, Curie and Piper's screams filling her ears as she slowly felt her life ebb away, the same coldness as cryo-sleep taking hold of her and she soon fell into nightmares.

* * *

 

Tessa woke up with someone shaking her, jolting to alertness and stiffly looking around the house expecting someone to be holding a gun to her head. Instead, hazel green eyes watched her and a soft smile was pulled on Piper's face. "See, I woke you up," she said softly.

"Seems so..." She replied, carefully removing herself from the synth's arms and blinked at her softly. "How long was I out?"

"Only a few hours..."

"Have you been the only one on shift?" Tessa asked with a touch accusing tone, their words hushed.

Shaking her head, Piper pointed to where Cait was snoring quite loudly. "Everyone else has already had a shift each."

"Oh, alright then," said Tessa, trying to forget the disturbing images of her dreams, most of which involved dead friends. "Your turn to sleep then."

"You're going to call me a hypocrite but pass," said Piper, "I'll join you." The blonde woman gave her a pointed glare, but offered no argument as she climbed through a window and onto the roof of the patio, staring out into the darkness of the Commonwealth. Piper sat down besides her, silent as Tessa settled down where someone had put a sofa cushion. She held the sniper rifle that was sitting nearby, scanning the horizon with the scope and not saying a word to the reporter at her side. Keeping an eye out for any Brotherhood that might have managed to make their way to the boathouse wasn't enough to stop the trickling thoughts of Danse from entering her mind, of wondering if she should have shot him or not. She clenched her jaw, and put the rifle down.

Piper frowned softly at her, and reached out to the freckled woman besides her, hand resting on her knee. "Blue... What's wrong? You haven't been talking to me as much, not since you found a way into the Institute. What's the matter?"

Tessa ran a hand through her short blonde hair, and glared intently on some rotting plank in the wooden roof she was sitting on. "Everything."

"I'm afraid I'm going to need you to be a little more specific."

She sighed in exasperation, and leaned back against the roof, staring up at the sky. Endless stars stared back, no clouds in sight unless they were from the still burning settlement in the west. Her heart ached to think of all her hard work up in flames. "Shaun... He's the director of the Institute Piper. How do I- How can I possibly accept that?"

"He's a smart boy like his mother?"

"More like a smart man... He's older than me now! Biologically at least..." She sighed once more, and straightened up. "Worst of all the only way I could get to him was if I lied to him! I wasn't expecting the leader of the great evil of the Commonwealth to be my son and I was willing to do just about anything to find him. I figured, I could go in and free the synths and my son in one fell swoop, that'd I'd rescue them all and perhaps even take out the big bad wolf while I was at it!" She laughed bitterly, "Instead I find this... fake boy who looks like me and I think it's really him! I was so relieved and angry at the same time, I wanted to fight every last one of them to free him, to get back my son but then... Then the real Shaun walked in and shut down the boy. We get to talking and naturally I don't know what to feel. They'd raised him as one of their own and he began their leader, and he's the reason behind the doppleganger synths, behind the abductions and replacements, behind the third generation of them, behind the kind like Curie!" She gestured towards the house behind them, and Piper was frowning softly as she listened. Tessa scanned the horizon once more, but truly she wasn't looking, all she was imagining was the son she'd never had and the man she'd discovered to be him.

"So it's not what you'd hoped..."

Gritting her teeth, Tessa slammed a fist down. "It's not just that! I went in there ready to kill them all Piper!" She looked at her with pained eyes, "I was so angry and furious and felt like I was about to have my revenge for everything that'd happened. I went to the Railroad because I didn't want to go in guns blazing, because I thought my son wouldn't understand, and yet that's all I wanted when I stepped into that transporter. Desdemona wants me to lie to them, because they're not going to let the synths go easy and so I have no other choice. I'm playing my son for a fool and he's dying Piper."

The reporter blinked, confusion knitting her brow. "What? How-"

"Cancer," she bitterly said before giving a hysterical laugh, "The best part is it's probably because of how he was involved in making third-gen synths!" Tessa paused for a moment, trying to reign herself in but Piper gave a heavy shake of her head.

"This is the first you've mentioned this," she said softly, "what else have you been bottling up?"

Green eyes stared at her, and she swallowed dryly. "You really want to hear it all?"

"Of course," encouraged Piper.

"Alright but you asked for it..." She said before taking in a deep breath. "I'm not a good person Piper... At least not like I used to be." There was obvious disagreement on the brunet's face but she didn't say anything just yet. "I've killed so many people, and not all of them deserved it. Sometimes I just get so angry and then people end up dead. Covenant for example..."

"Those people were killing others out of fear and superstition and conducting sick experiments in the name of science. The entire town was a ruse," countered Piper softly, watching the conflict and shame rolling through her love.

Shrugging, Tessa stared down at her hands. "That doesn't change the fact that when I discovered what was going on I grabbed my gun and I started shooting. You'd be surprised how much death you can dish out with a bit of pyschojet in your system and a combat rifle in your hands. You saw what I did, you know how bad I snapped." She clenched her hands into fists. "I try to be kind, to not let this place taint me, but it's nearly impossible. I've lied more than I ever did as a lawyer, and I think I've killed more than Nate ever did and he was in an actual war. I can't even remember how many people I've shot."

"The Commonwealth is a tough place," said Piper gently, "nothing pure lasts for long. Just look at Curie, even she'll kill if she has to and we all know how she feels about that."

"I can't help but wonder if I've brought more darkness into people's lives than made it better. Sure, I cleared out some raiders and saved a settlement here and there. I saved some folks trapped in a museum, I do this or that to help and be generous and then something comes along and just ruins it. I lie so much it's hard to even turn it off Piper..." She was clutching her chest, filled with self-hate and she hissed between her teeth. "I can't even tell my son to his face that I disagree with everything he's become. Instead I'm scheming to break out his legacy because he and everyone else in the Institute view them as slaves and property. I have to make him think I'm on his side so I turned against the first people who gave me hope of finding Shaun, and I killed so many people who once thought I was on their side. All for what, strangers?"

"I know those synths will appreciate everything you're doing for them when they're no longer under the Institute's control," said Piper slowly, "you're saving them, and you're going to stop the Institute!"

Sneering, Tessa stared at Piper intently. "They'll just make more, I've seen them do it. They can have a fully grown synth in minutes. The only way to stop them is to destroy them, which means destroying my son."

Sighing softly, Piper looked out to the dark wasteland around them. "I can't pretend to know what that's like, or what you're going through. But having to make hard decisions and do something that's not entirely good doesn't make you a bad person either. What you're trying to do is just as important as to how you get there, and sometimes you just don't have another choice. Making mistakes doesn't make you a bad person, I've done that plenty."

"Should I have killed Danse?" She asked bitterly.

"I don't know... He's just doing his job but that means bad things for us. Maybe it would have meant the Starlight wouldn't have been destroyed, maybe it means we wouldn't have seen the Brotherhood for a few days more, but sooner or later they would have sent someone after you."

"I just want to protect you and Curie... You two mean the world to me now, you're all that matters."

Piper wrapped her arms around Tessa, pulling her into a deep and long hug. "I'm not running from you because you do something bad... Just as long as it doesn't become a trend. I know you're trying to do good because that's who you are. You're a good person who's caught up in a lot of bad things."

Tessa pulled away from her and ducked her head. "I have a terrible feeling that I'm going to just fall further into the darkness before I see the other side."

Taking hold of one of her hands and giving it a firm squeeze, Piper smiled. "I promise you, Curie and I both will be there for you, no matter what."

"Even if that means killing more of the Brotherhood?"

"The Brotherhood of Steel can go fuck themselves," said Piper fiercely, "I've never liked them and they're nothing but a 'holier than thou" group who hordes all the technology they can get their greedy hands on and refuse to do any good for anyone else. I honestly can't believe you ever got mixed up with them."

"It was before I met you," she said softly, "I needed some hope to find Shaun and some people like that... They seemed like they might be able to. Or at least give me a purpose when I failed." Green eyes stared intently at the brunet. "What about when I have to betray my son and reveal that I've always been lying to him?" She asked, heart aching anew at the thought. "That until I knew who he was I was getting ready to blow his head off? That a part of me still wants justice for what happened when I know I should let it go... Even after Kellogg I want to tear them apart for what they did."

Piper brushed her cheek. "You have every reason to be angry, these people ruined your life Blue! You wouldn't have lost your husband or you son if not for them!" She then added, "you also probably wouldn't have ever woken up..."

Tessa smiled softly. "I guess there's some good in all this... I met you and Curie."

She gave a soft smile, and kissed the blonde woman. Tessa tried to push the depressing thoughts from her mind and focus on the lovely woman before her, arms wrapping around her and pulling Piper close. They shifted a bit, Piper being pulled into Tessa's lap and her hands found their way into short hair, legs tucked against Tessa's hips. A soft moan escaped Tessa as the kiss grew more intense, and Piper gave a throaty chuckle as she pulled away. "You'll wake the others," she chided softly.

"I was supposed to be on watch..." she said with a small smirk, the pain still present in her chest but it was easier to ignore with Piper's lips inches from her own. "You're distracting me from my duties."

"Can you blame me? This is the first time I've had you all to myself in weeks," she purred sensually, nuzzling against her neck and pushed her hips forward. Tessa eagerly responded and had to silence her noises with another kiss. "I've missed you... We both have," whispered Piper as she pulled back.

Grimacing, Tessa looked away. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to upset you two."

"We know, it's why we've been patient. But if it's been about all this... We're here for you you know right? We can't help you if we don't know what's going on."

"I know," admitted Tessa.

"Good!" She rewarded the blonde with another heated kiss, leaving her aching for more. The physical contact was very effective at running her other thoughts to the hills and demanding all of her attention.. "Now I'll leave you to your watch on one condition."

"Oh yeah? What if I want you to stay now?"

Sticking her tongue out, Piper gave her a cheeky look. "Too bad, I'm tired." Her playful tone slipped away when she spoke next, "Promise me that no matter what happens next you're not going to blame yourself. You're not a monster Blue, and I refuse to let you think you are because you've done a few bad things. You're in a lose-lose situation, and so long as you don't lose yourself then I promise you will make it. Curie and I are both here for you and so are Cait, MacCreadry and Codsworth. You're a strong woman but you don't have to bare this burden alone."

Breaking into a breathless smile, Tessa kissed Piper once more, and when they broke apart she nodded her head. "So if I don't promise you'll stay here and I can steal more kisses?" She teased.

"I'm serious Tessa."

"Using my real name? Seems so," she replied, Piper glaring at her intently, and then gave a nod. "Okay fine. I promise I won't unreasonably blame myself for what's to come and remember that I'm fucked anyways."

Mulling over the response for a minute, Piper nodded her head. "I'll take it." She slipped off the blonde's lap, and took hold of her hand, lingering for a few moments. "If you see any bucket heads I want you to scream as loud as you can," she joked.

"Got it," simply said Tessa, holding tightly to Piper's hand as she stared out into the night. The reporter hesitated, and then with a sigh she got up and headed back into the house, leaving Tessa to her swirling mind of thoughts.


	3. Plots and Plans

The coming of dawn brought a painful reminder to Tessa Grey. While the Taffington Boathouse had a partial roof and plenty of water, it was vastly lacking in terms of food. She awoke with a growling stomach and a brunet on either side of her, MacCready on the last shift of watch out on the roof of the patio. Taking a moment to admire the peacefulness of her lovers' faces, a nagging suspicion in the back of her mind that she wouldn't see them so relaxed for a while making her memorize the way they looked in the pale light of dawn. Rising as carefully as she could to not awaken the slumbering pair, she walked over to the window and stepped through the frame, joining the man who keenly held the sniper.

"Morning," he said, flicking a hand but keeping his gaze on the horizon as he scanned it slow and meticulously.

"Morning," she replied, standing besides him with her hands on her hips as she looked around them. "Anything?"

"Nope, and it doesn't make a lick of sense." He lowered the rifle and glanced up at her. "Even if they don't know about this place in specific, we're not all that far from the Starlight. They should have found us if they were searching properly."

Tessa frowned in thought, he was right about the closeness of the two locations. "Perhaps they're checking settlements they know of, Danse did learn a lot about me from our time fighting together. He'd probably assume I'd go to a place I would think I'd be safe in, a settlement that I helped out and am free to visit. Why search the woods where other nasties might be when you have a possible strong lead to find your catch?"

He scratched at his facial hair, and grimaced. "True enough... But we can't stay here."

"Agreed," she said, "but first things first, breakfast. I can't plan on an empty stomach."

MacCready gave an approving grunt. "I already picked this place over, nothing to eat. I'd suggest we go on a hunt but these woods have poor pickings, bloodbugs get most everything edible, before or after they're dead."

"We could always eat them instead."

The sniper made a face that reminded Tessa of a kid that'd just been told to eat their vegetables. "I'd sooner eat radscorpion! If I'm not desperate I will find something else before I eat a bloodbug."

She smirked with amusement. "They're not that bad! Just make sure you sear the hell out of it. Tastes almost like rare steak honestly."

"Because of the blood!"

She gave a dismissive shrug. "Hunting would take too long anyways, and we need to move soon. Maybe we could hit up Bunker Hill, it's just across the bridge to the south."

"There could be Brotherhood eyes there though, big enough trading place and we all know Bunker Hill was nothing but a bunch of cowards until you cleared out that raider calling himself a judge," he replied, casually inspecting the rifle at his side. "Are they a spying kinda group or just go in guns blazing?"

"Not sure about that. Perhaps just a few of us? You and Cait maybe? Danse didn't get to know any of you very well so there's a chance the rest of the Brotherhood's knowledge is even worse."

MacCready went to reply, but his words died in his throat as he spotted Codsworth hovering up the road from the south, whistling a tune and bobbing along over the broken asphalt with ease. "Mum!" Called the robot, swiveling his trio of robotic eyes up at her and waving his sawblade limb. "I've purchased some groceries for breakfast, where shall we eat?"

"I swear nothing will keep that robot from doing what he was programed for," muttered Tessa with amusement, gesturing for MacCready to head inside as she approached the edge of the roof. "Upstairs, thanks Codsworth."

"I live to serve!" He chirped.

On the second floor, the robot hovered eagerly as the rest of the group stirred awake, still whistling that same tune as before. "How's you get us something to eat?" Asked Piper as she sat up, stretching her arms above her. It'd been some time since she last slept on a floor, and her back certainly did not approve.

"Simple ma'am, I borrowed some caps from Miss Grey and went to Bunker Hill. The clerk was more than willing to help me with storing the groceries in these nifty bags I have. I dare say they're better than having to carry a bag around, no need to worry about losing it in the wind or to some mischievous child." Tessa was unloading the boxes of sugar bombs and dandy boy apples, offering the pork 'n beans and cram tins to MacCready who was quick to open one up. "I was even able to get a pan if you'd like to heat them up mum," added Codsworth, "should improve the taste quite a bit."

"This is most thoughtful," said Curie with a smile, nodding her head in approval to the orb shaped robot. Tessa was sure that if he could smile, he would have been then. "I can prepare the food," she offered, "There is a stove downstairs, perhaps it works?"

"Let me give you a hand," offered Piper, following the synth down the steps to the floor below.

Tessa gave a smile as Codsworth floated towards Dogmeat who watched with puppy dog eyes. "Don't worry pup, I got you something too! Mum, could you fetch the dog food please? I'm afraid I can't really reach these bags myself..." Laughing, Tessa nodded her head and removed the tin can from the leather bags, having to borrow one of MacCready's many knives to open it and Dogmeat was bouncing in place with excitement as she placed the can on the wooden floor. She caught Cait smiling at the eager dog as well, and when their eyes met a faint scowl replaced Cait's moment of softness.

The redheaded woman pushed off the wall she'd been leaning against and snagged a box of sugar bombs, tearing the top off and shoving a hand in to munch down the unhealthy cereal. Considering it hadn't expired after two hundred years, Tessa could only shiver at the thought of whatever was in it. "So," said Cait between scoops of food, "what's the plan?"

"I'd rather wait until we're all around before I say it," said Tessa. Immediately Cait began walking downstairs, MacCready laughing at Tessa's mild frustration and the pair of them followed her, Codsworth floating after them. The blonde paused for a moment as she spotted Piper and Curie cooking, the synth tending to the stove while Piper sliced the candied dandy boy apples, the box torn open and tossed to the side. Piper was telling Curie some story, the synth listening intently while also making sure the food didn't burn, torn between watching the pan or Piper and probably wishing she still had three eyes.

Despite the annoyed glare of the fist fighter for her to start talking, Tessa took a moment to marvel at just how lovely the pair of them looked. With their backs turned to the rest of them they'd slipped into a little bubble, and the ache in Tessa's chest returned as she realized this was a rare event. Even at the Starlight they were most always busy with something, or at least Tessa had been. She'd spent hours repairing weapons, armor and her suits of power armor. Other times she'd been crafting new mods for her weapons or upgrading the equipment that kept her alive. Truthfully she wasn't certain when she ever sat down and relaxed, perhaps because she'd feel guilty doing anything but searching for Shaun and helping others along the way. Watching the pair, Piper giving Curie sultry little grins and the synth blushing in response, made her wish she could change it all so they'd never have gotten involved in all of this. She was reminded of Nate and she back before the war, making the ache and guilt in her chest grow stronger in one split moment.

"Oi, what's the plan?" Snapped Cait, shoving another handful of sugar bombs in her mouth. The pair in the kitchen turned around, blinking at her as Tessa blushed softly.

"Well... I need to report back to the Railroad about everything that's happened, the Brotherhood could become a real threat for us. Not to mention everything going on with the Institute," started Tessa, speaking slowly to give her enough time to figure out what she was going to say before hand. She couldn't afford for them to think she had no idea what she was doing. "Which means you can't come with me."

"What?" Said Piper with a heavy frown, "We're not letting you out of our sight with these goons after you."

"I have to keep the HQ secret, I promised-"

"Did you ever think you'd be hunted by a powerful faction of technology fanatics?"

Tessa gave a frustrated sigh and shook her head. "That doesn't matter, a promise is a promise. Besides, if I bring all of you there then we'd risk tipping the Institute or the Brotherhood off. We're not exactly an inconspicuous group you know."

"Fair enough on that part but we didn't leave you alone to Danse and we're certainly not leaving you alone to travel somewhere with this threat hanging around."

"Well perhaps we don't all go with her then mum," suggested Codsworth, "The seven of us surely will draw attention from anyone that sees us. Diamond City would probably be safe, the Brotherhood isn't allowed there last I could tell."

They grew a bit silent, eyes glancing around between themselves wondering who would try to leave. Curie gave a soft, awkward cough, and checked the food that'd been warming up on the stove. She removed it, and began to portion it appropriately into the empty cans of cram or pork 'n beans, offering one to each of the gathered friends. Tesas silently took hers, munching on the warm food while the rest of them ate, mulling over the possibility. She had to admit it did taste better than the usual cold flavor.

After a bit of time, Cait put her fork down and scowled. "I'm not going anywhere, ya need me in a fight."

"Me too," said MacCready, "Curie, you should go."

"Excusez-moi?" The synth said, a hand going to her chest. "I will not leave Madame Tessa's side so easily."

"Yer shit in battle," said Cait with a hint of a growl, shoveling a bite of food in her mouth and chewing loudly. "Well, yer not half bad but compared to the rest of us... Diamond City'll keep you safe."

"She's a synth," said Piper quickly, gesturing with her fork at the brunet who was frowning at being talked around as if she weren't present. "We all know how Diamond City is about synths, and if I'm not around Nat'll blab to just about everyone that she's got a synth visiting her and they'll shoot Curie out of fear!"

"What about Nick, they're fine with him," said MacCready, scrapping the bottom of his can of food already.

Piper waved a hand dismissively. "He's different, for one they can tell he's not human and he arrived before all this paranoia cropped up."

"That paper you write certainly doesn't help," muttered Tessa, shoveling food in her mouth to avoid having to answer the fierce glare of the reporter.

"I write to keep people informed of the truth, not create fear mongering. Besides, Nick is on a case, I don't think he can afford to watch Curie and Ellie wouldn't be too keen on synth-sitting."

"Curie is right here!" Said Curie with a flush and a stomp of a foot, "I can decide what is best for me thank you very much!"

They all blinked at her, and Tessa gave a failed smile. "Sorry..."

She snorted softly, nodding her head in approval. "It is fine, but I will have a say in what I do. Madame, must you keep this Railroad place secret?" Tessa gave a nod. "Then we will not go to it."

"What?" MacCready and Cait exclaimed in unison, Piper nearly dropping her food.

The synth shot them a dirty look and they hushed up with bites of food, the sniper attempting to steal some from Piper who swatted his hand away. Grumbling in defeat, MacCready got up and fetched the sliced Dandy Boy Apples. "Madame does not wish to break her promise, then we will not make her break her promise. Is there anywhere nearby however?" She turned back to the blonde woman who was catching on and smiled softly at her.

"Yeah, there's some old ruins in the area you could hole up in while I talk with the Railroad. That doesn't change that I can't take all of you."

"Then don't," said Piper, "Dogmeat and Codsworth could go to Diamond City."

"No," argued Tessa, looking at her faithful robot and canine companions, Dogmeat having joined them once he was finished eating. "I need you to go to the Castle."

"But Mum, that's where the Brotherhood will be looking for you," countered the floating machine.

Tessa nodded her head. "I know, but you need to talk to Preston. Tell him to send word to all our allied settlements not to put up a fight if the Brotherhood arrives looking for me, I don't want anyone to get hurt because they're looking for me. If the Minutemen put up a fight for me then they'll just get settlers killed. I might be their general but this is a fight they can't help me with. If you come across anyone on your way there you cannot tell them anything, just play the lost Mr. Handy card and don't let anyone take you. Do you understand?"

"Yes Mum but what if he won't listen to me?"

"Then you tell him its a direct order from his superior," said Tessa firmly, "if he doesn't obey then I'll hem his ass up when this is all over."

There was a soft chuckle from the only man in the room, MacCready grinning childishly. "What, you'll run his underwear up the flagpole?" He snickered.

"You are such a child," muttered Tessa.

"Hey, grow up around a bunch of kids without a mungo in sight and then try to act like an adult," he countered with that wide grin. "Can I put something in his bed next time we visit Castle? Oh! What about some-"

"Focus MacCready," said Tessa, trying to keep her amusement out of her voice. As stressed as she was, it was pleasant to see him so confident he'd get the chance to perform some prank or another on the Minutemen. The odds they were up against were frightening, making his confidence something greatly needed. "We still have to keep five of us from being noticed, hard feat that'll be... Unless we split up," she said, noting how they didn't seem against the idea and so continued, "Two groups, three and two each, can make it through the Commonwealth a bit more stealthily than a whole five. If no one gets into any fights on the way there and we go separate routes, we should be able to get there about the same time." She brought her left arm up towards her face, fiddling with the nobs on her PipBoy to bring up a map of the area, various icons with names when she hovered over them spotting the green hued screen.

Curie curiously shuffled towards the freckled woman as Tessa narrowed her eyes with thought, closely examining the layout of the land before them. "Fuck," simply muttered Tessa as she realized a major problem. "The Prydwen's right across the bay from our headquarters. Which means they'll probably be a lot of them swarming the area."

"Where exactly are we headed," asked Piper, finishing her meal and placing the tin aside. "How far is this place?"

"Just south of Bunker Hill actually, along the water... Shouldn't take more than two hours without running into anything."

"This is the Commonwealth sweetie," said Piper with a sigh, "you might not have far to go but it'll be damn sure to throw everything it can in your face."

Sighing heavily, Tessa examined the route once more. "There's not really many ways to go unless someone's willing to greatly detour... So how about instead one group goes first and then a bit later the other group leaves, stagger our approach."

"We could clear a path," said Cait, grinning in delight and punching MacCready's shoulder, "Let us handle the fighting."

"Do you have a map?" Asked MacCready, Tessa gesturing to her PipBoy and he rolled his eyes. "Okay, any paper and pencil?"

Tessa gave a shrug and went to offer to look around when Piper produced both of the requested items from a pocket in her coat. "What? Gotta be ready for the scoop," she said defensively as the sniper took it and walked towards Tessa to copy the route down, the green eyed blonde cocking a brow at her lover.

Tessa drew a line with her finger down to an icon resembling a monument on the screen. "Just head straight to Bunker Hill, follow the road. Careful when you cross this bridge right to our south, some jackass hooked it up with explosives last time I crossed it, might've come back to reset them."

"Did you blow up?" Curie asked with worry.

"I was very lucky there's actually water beneath that bridge. Watch out at the BADTFL Regional Office as well, lots of raiders around there no matter how many times I put them down." She grimaced as she drew a line further south, MacCready copying to the best of his ability. "Once you cross this bridge south of Bunker Hill, cut left immediately along the river until you get to an intersection with a bunch of red, white and green flags crossing the area, I think there's a pizza place nearby or something. Take that right down the street between the buildings, and it won't take long to get to an old church. Right next to that is a building that you can climb to the roof with a bit of work, it'll keep you off the streets and safe."

"We're hiding on a hoof?" Asked Cait with displeasure, "that's in plain sight."

"Only for someone else up high," countered Tessa, "and I said with a bit of work, it's not the most obvious thing in the world."

"Up high works for me, I can see something coming better that way," said MacCready in approval, checking his work to assure it was accurate before stepping away, neatly folding the map into his pocket. "So Cait and I go first, and you three follow behind?"

Nodding her head, Tessa realized she had hardly eaten the food that her lovers had prepared and began to munch down while they discussed the plan. "If you do fight something though, try to be quiet, too much noise will draw attention that might tip off the Brotherhood," said Piper thoughtfully.

"I like me fists more than anything," replied Cait with a crooked grin, "and that gauntlet Tessa made me works like a charm. I can't say they won't scream."

"I've got a silencer on my sniper, I'll pick them off as we go," said the man, tilting the brim of his hat up a bit. "We'll try to stay as quiet as we can to make sure nothing comes sniffing around behind us."

The synthetic woman turned to Tessa, brow furrowed slightly. "How long do you think you will be discussing things with the Railroad?"

"Depends... Des might know more than I," she said with a shrug, "I'll try to keep it as quick as I can and then tell you guys what you missed." She looked between her four loyal friends, confidence and determination clear across their faces and she smiled with relief. "Rule number one for everybody, you see a patrol of Brotherhood you steer clear and find another way got it?" They all nodded their heads. "Good, I got one more idea, should help with us making it that far without anyone recognizing us."

Piper frowned instantly. "Oh please no."

"Disguises?" Guessed MacCready with that childish grin, Cait seemingly as against it as Piper.

Smirking, Tessa pointed to the floor above them. "Disguises."

"But I like my hat!" Protested Piper.


	4. In The House of God

"Bullseye? What're you doing here shouldn't you still be inside the Institute?" Came Desdemona's confused voice, Tessa standing in the hub of the Railroad's underground headquarters. It had taken four hours of dodging Brotherhood patrols, the occasional ghoul pack and a trio of super mutants encounters for her to arrive. Her friends were up on the nearby rooftop as agreed upon, though only MacCready had been all that keen of the idea.

"Shit went sideways," she replied briskly, glancing around the crypt that her fellow agents had been dwelling within. It was beyond cramped, several shelves with supplies positioned between the old brick archways and stone sarcophaguses throughout the already small crypt, the roof just high enough that it was out of reach of Tessa's fingertips though barely. Beds were shoved into corners, one spot clearly restricted for medical purposes while there was an off-shoot to the left of Tessa. Meanwhile her right had a workshop and a small shooting range. There was a large circular slab of stone that was adorned with various maps and schematics, a stray bottle or two, and cigarettes in the center of the room. Tessa stood on one side and Desdemona the other, her dark ginger hair looking like flames with the white illuminated emblem of the Railroad on the wall behind her. "I had to fight the Brotherhood of Steel to keep my cover and now they're hunting me down."

The small talk in the headquarters vanished, the various people inside giving her all their attention. "Do you know if you were followed?" Asked Desdemona carefully, making certain not to offend the blonde woman that'd quickly grown to be one of their most effective agents.

"I don't think so, I took precautions," replied Tessa, trying to keep her eyes on just the leader rather than the others who were teeming with nervousness. Her stomach flopped, and she shook her head. "But I know I can't stay here, they'll just come this way soon enough. We're right across the bay!"

Desdemona gave a humorless smile. "Well we were established here before they flew in, but you do have a point. Deacon," she called forward, the sunglass wearing man stepping forward at her command. "You know the surface better than anyone else, see to it that Bullseye gets somewhere secure. Mercer Safehouse might work."

"My friends..." Tessa started, struggling for a moment before utterly giving up dancing around the topic and sighed. "The Brotherhood destroyed my home, my new one, and all my friends that were there with me came along."

"What!" Desdemona shouted, stepping back as she scowled. "Bullseye you know the rules! We only survive by using secrecy, not even those you trust most can know where we're located at."

Tessa Grey narrowed her eyes. "You have a fucking red line leading here all the way from Swan's Pond you know that right? The password puzzle is also pretty obvious too and you even give a letter each along the way via the Freedom Trail."

"She's got you there," commented Deacon.

Muttering under her breath, Desdemona's control returned. "You're right... Are you absolutely certain you can trust these friends of yours or that they'd be able to survive torture?" She asked, one finger tapping the edge of the stone circle.

"You can't trust anybody," Tinker Tom commented from the side, the jittery inventor creeping out of his workspace. "The Institute has eyes everywhere!"

"Literally or metaphorically?" Asked Tessa harshly, glaring green daggers at the dark skinned man. "Des we're wasting time. I've got the Institute's trust but it cost me the Brotherhood. They're against us anyways but I fear I just gave them reason enough to try something."

The leader of the Railroad nodded her head, tapping the stone a bit faster. "Everyone, we're going on high alert!" She said loudly, soft murmurs of acknowledgment rising amongst the agents. "Glory, Charmer, Fixer, go watch the front. Deacon and Lancer make sure the escape tunnel is clear. Bullseye go see Tinker Tom, he's got something for you. Everyone else get ready!"

Tessa nodded her head and quickly moved over to the eccentric and paranoid man, the others falling into a clearly practiced rhythm, moving swiftly to where they needed to be. "Here," Tinker Tom said as he shoved a large and peculiar weapon in her hands. "Just load the spikes in here, aim, and pull the trigger. This baby can go through power armor like butter, made it just for the Brotherhood."

The woman gave it a curious once over, loading ten spikes into the feeding chamber and slamming the lid back down. The weapon produced a tooting like noise reminiscent of a train, chugging along eager to fire. "Interesting," she said softly. "Desdemona," she called as she looked over her shoulder to the ginger haired woman. "What-" her words were cut short by a deep, terrible boom and the crypt shook, sending the nearby shelf toppling over into Tessa. She managed to push it off, fear starting to fill her from the toes up before nestling in her chest and her throat grew tight.

"That was the booby trap!" Shouted Drummer Boy, the blue-clad man half panicked already. "The tunnel's gone!"

No one got a chance to respond before arcs of red light shot through the back corridor, blasting against the chest of an unlucky agent. She fell in a heap of smoking red ash. "Lancer!" Shouted Deacon, pulling his gun out and returning fire into the passageway as more of the Brotherhood pressed out. Tessa slid into cover besides the circular slab, Desdemona about an arm away and shooting as a knight in full power armor came stomping through. The knight brought a minigun to bear, the barrels spinning before it began to roar with death, spitting bullets that tore through armor and chipped away at the protective bricks. Tessa spotted at least two more soldiers, mercifully only dawned in combat armor rather than a proper suit.

"Let's see if this thing's as good as you claim!" Shouted Tessa to Tinker Tom who was still by his workshop, firing with his own into the bottlenecked Brotherhood soldiers. Bringing the sights up she targeted the massive helmet of the knight, and pulled the trigger, the amount of recoil it possessed was surprising even though she anticipated something immense. The spike sailed through the air and tore right into the helmet, impaling what was most likely an ear considering the length of the projectile. The knight screamed in pain and began to move the minigun back and forth in a sweeping motion, forcing the Railroad agents to duck and pop back up again and again to fire. The armored soldiers were firing with their laser weapons, just barely missing Tessa and Desdemona while someone else screamed in pain.

Gritting her teeth, Tessa did everything she could to keep a level head as she heard another agent go down, Deacon shouting their name and scrambling towards them. Digging through her pockets, Tessa pulled out a small syringe and debated for all of two seconds before the third scream of pain made the decision for her. Plunging the needle into her hip, a rush of energy shot through her system. Everything got sharpened and yet also a bit blurry in her vision as she roared in anger, diving around the stone cover and firing twice with the new weapon. The first spike blasted through the knight's pauldron while the second went through the visor. He dropped dead without a cry, his comrades doing that for him.

Psychojet pumping through her veins, Tessa wasn't done as she rushed the closest soldier and rammed the butt of her weapon into his face, simultaneously kicking out with her leg to knock out his knee. He fell down and in a panic pulled the trigger, beams of red light grazing her hip and arm but doing little damage. She sent a spike through his skull, pinning him to the crypt floor, before looking up to see the third one was dead.

"The booby trap must've gotten the rest," Deacon was saying but Tessa could hardly hear him. Her blood was pumping loudly through her ears, and she was breathing heavily as the chems worked their way through her system like a flash fire, leaving her shaking when her head cleared enough to think. "Des, Glory's got the front, did anyone go with her?" Asked Deacon, turning to where Desdemona was checking on the wounded alongside Doctor Carrington.

"Charmer and Fixer," said Desdemona, stepping back from a mortally wounded woman. "Quickly, go help them! We can't afford to lose the catacombs!"

Tessa didn't wait for another order as her legs started moving, her breathing jagged as the rush died down. She was certain to get an earful about it later but at that moment she didn't care, all she cared about was getting to the others. Deacon and she rushed up a set of stairs, through a door and down a corridor that opened up to a larger room where there was a lowered area between the opposite sides. There were several bodies within, Charmer and Fixer's mangled and riddled with holes while Glory was slumped against the wall, clutching her side and struggling to breathe. Various bodies dressed in Brotherhood of Steel uniforms were scattered about, most of them peppered with holes from Glory's minigun. Almost jumping towards her, Tessa was at the synthetic woman's side in a blink, quickly taking in her state and realizing it was dire. Glory's armor was shot to hell, blood quickly escaping her flank where she'd been shot the most. Her dark skin was feverish, white hair plastered with blood and her dark eyes were already clouding.

"No!" Shouted Tessa, on her knees besides Glory and searching through her pockets for a stimpak. When she found one she injected it into Glory's arm, but the woman gave a weak shake of her head.

"Too late Bullseye," she replied with a strained voice, "stimpaks don't close gaping sides."

"Enough of them damn well can," argued Tessa.

"Glory..." Whispered the sunglass wearing man, Deacon trying not to break down as she smiled up at him the best she could.

"We kept those bastards out," Glory boasted one last time, coughing at the end and she looked at the bodies of Charmer and Fixer. "Shame they didn't make it." Her words were punctuated with a series of coughs. "Damn that stings."

Deacon snapped his head up from the pair as he heard something blow up ahead of them. "Shit we've got incoming," he said, raising his own railway rifle up and taking cover behind the half wall where the Brotherhood would be coming from. "See if you can help her Bullseye!"

"Keep them off of us!" Shouted Tessa desperately, pulling out everything she thought could help Glory. She injected her with Med-X next and a pair of stimpaks, and the synth gasped softly as the pain ebbed away. A few seconds later gunfire filled the catacombs, Deacon shouting as Brotherhood swarmed inside. Bullets were flying, each gunshot making Tessa's ears ring but all she cared about was saving Glory who gave her a weak smile. "Don't you dare give up on me!"

"G5-19... Curie... Is she happy?" Glory asked, wincing and having to lean her head back to be able to breathe properly, blood trickling out of her mouth. Tessa gritted her teeth, hands attempting to remove Glory's heavy Railroad armor so she could bandage her wounds but the dark skinned synth shoved her away. Dark eyes bore into green orbs, pleading for an answer. "Is she happy?"

Tessa nodded her head softly. "Yes... We're in love."

"Love?" Glory repeated whimsically, before giving a wheezing cough. "Good... At least I know I helped one synth... even if she wasn't to start."

The sound of explosions were distant to Tessa despite being in the same room, Deacon keeping the Brotherhood at bay with grenades and suppressive fire. Tessa's hands clenched into fists as she watched Glory give a weak smile and coughed raggedly. "I'm sorry," uttered Tessa.

"You wanna do me a favor?" Glory asked brokenly, Tessa gave a firm nod. "Make these fuckers pay..."

Swallowing dryly, Tessa watched the life leave Glory's eyes. "I will," she vowed, and Glory gave a mute nod before she grew still. Tessa watched her for a few, terribly long seconds, before Deacon shouted he needed her help. Tessa's fingers reached out and closed Glory's eyes, and then she seemed to take notice that there were five Brotherhood soldiers attempting to get through the tight corridor into the larger room they occupied, Deacon's cover keeping him from being mowed down by their guns.

Tessa Grey was generally a friendly and intelligent woman. She preferred thinking things through before acting and being careful, making sure that she wasn't doing anything stupid that might get herself or others hurt. However sometimes something would happen and she'd throw it all to the wind with a roar of fury and unleash levels of devastation that would make most people run the other way. The kind lawyer she'd once been would be blown away with the terror that was the wasteland and all that it corrupted. Staring at the body of her friend that was now a corpse, all of her pent up anger broke free and she drew her barrel fed shotgun with a terrible roar.

Injecting herself once more with psychojet she felt the rush that came with it and the freckled woman jumped right over the cover, rushing the confused attackers. There were two of them in power armor at the front, and Tessa screamed with fury as she unloaded shot after shot into the face of the first one. She felt beams of energy batter against her and bullets bit into her armor but the pain was minimal as the chems surged through her system. One benefit of having restored several suits of power armor meant she knew them well, and she quickly closed the distance between herself and the nearest suited soldier. Pressing the muzzle of her shotgun to a weak point in the armor, she blasted one shell after another into the gut of the soldier who fell with a loud moan.

The slowed effects of the psychojet were already wearing out, but Tessa's enraged mind hardly seemed to notice. She fired rapidly at the visor of the second suited soldier who slammed their fist into her chest and pinned her against the wall. Grunting, Tessa wiggled one arm free and drew the ripper she kept on her hip and plunged it forward into the already weakened visor. His screams as the hand-held chainsaw tore into his flesh, blood and gore flying out of his helmet as Tessa pushed it further into his skull, echoed off the walls of the catacombs. Deacon was at her side as the soldier threw her away, a mess of gore splattered across the helmet and Tessa would have been glad the bulk of his face was still concealed if she were thinking straight.

She felt something rip into her shoulder, pain exploding outwards but with the chems still in her system she hardly felt a thing and grunted as she used a stimpak on herself. Deacon fired at the nonsuited soldier who'd shot her and a trio of spikes impaled him against the brick wall. The other two non-suited soldiers fired rapidly, Tessa and Deacon having to run out of the corridor back to the walls that flanked it. The injured knight shouted with fury as he chased them, hardly able to see but angry enough to not care. The moment he was in the main room Tessa slipped into V.A.T.S. and used the advanced piece of technology to shove a fragmentation grenade into his open helmet. Deacon and she both jumped back into the lowered area of the room and took cover as he screamed before his head exploded like a ripe tomato.

The remaining pair of soldiers came running out at them, shouting battle cries and Tessa couldn't help but think of when Paladin Danse would bellow those shouts in her ears as they fought against many a powerful foe. That moment of hesitation was all it took for her to get shot as they jumped down into the lowered area where several bodies were. Fortunately for her, the bullet went right into her center chestplate, a resounding force sending her into the wall behind her but she didn't feel the bullet go through her actual flesh. She responded by blowing the man's head off with a pair of shotgun shells. Deacon dispatched the other one just as easily with his new weapon.

They heard more voices from either side, Desdemona running into the area with a pair of agents at her flanks, while four more came from the same dark corridor as the rest of the Brotherhood had. "Glory!" Tessa heard Desdemona utter but ignored her for now, instead focusing on the other running forms that were swiftly approaching. She swapped to her hunting rifle, hoping to pick them off at a range, and peered down the sight. The one in the lead was rather slim, almost as if she wasn't wearing the standard bulky combat armor of the Brotherhood of Steel, and Tessa didn't think twice before firing at her leg, trying to stop her dead in her tracks. The scream that replied made her stomach drop to the floor along with the body, the other three forms quickly trying to assist her.

"Hold your fire!" Shouted MacCready, waving his hands rapidly.

"Oh god, oh god," uttered Tessa as she jumped over the half wall and sprinted down the dark corridor. Piper lay on the ground, holding her leg as blood escaped between her fingers. "Oh god oh god- Piper I'm so sorry!" Apologized Tessa in a stream of rushed words, pulling a stimpak out and injecting it just above where she'd been shot. She blinked at the groaning reporter, imagining what would have happened if she'd shot at her head instead of her leg. Shuddering at the thought, she gave her some Med-X as well, Piper's mutterings decreasing as the painkiller filled her veins.

"What the hell!" Shouted Cait, shoving Tessa away from Piper as Curie took over. "Check yer fire for fuck's sake!"

Tessa bristled slightly but she was far too ashamed and panicked to put up a fight. "What're you doing down here?"

"We saw the Brotherhood come in through the church, we were trying to warn you," explained MacCready.

"You could have announced it was you maybe!"

"Doesn't that PipBoy of yours tell you if people are hostile or something?"

"I-"

"Madame..." Curie softly said, catching their attention and cutting off Tessa's retort. "I believe she will be fine once I have tended to her wound."

"Piper?" Tessa asked softly, crouching down to where the reporter was wincing in pain. "I'm so sorry, can you forgive me?"

Piper gave a jagged breath, shaking her head and attempting to stand. "You kidding? What's a little friendly fire every now and then, it happens. I'll be fine I- oh god..." Her words trailed of as her head swooned and she fell back down. "Okay yeah that hurts."

Deacon shook his head quickly. "We can take her to the back, it's probably the safest place for her."

"Curie do you think you could help her?" Tessa asked with guilt rising up her body still, wrapping around her heart firmly.

"Oui Madame," replied the synth, Curie and Tessa helping Piper stand, the reporter having to keep her left leg up as she limped along with them. They ignored Desdemona's confused gaze, Deacon explaining to her what was going on before they began to prepare for the next wave of Brotherhood that was sure to come.

The moment they were in the damaged headquarters Piper was put in a chair. "Doctor Carrington," called Tessa, catching the lab coat wearing man's attention.

"Another one?" He muttered, quickly approaching only to frown as he took in the wounded reporter. "Who is this? G5-19?" He looked at Curie who shook her head quickly.

"I am Curie," she introduced herself, a hand on her chest.

He gave her an unnerved look before nodding. "Right right, the robot..." Doctor Carrington turned to Piper and grimaced. "Where are you hurt?"

"Leg," Piper said, gesturing to the injured limb. He gave a nod and quickly started to examine her, Curie working in tandem with the man.

"I'm so sorry," Tessa apologized once more.

Piper hissed softly as the pair of doctors tended to her. "Blue- Look we'll talk about it when the coast is clear okay?" Tessa nodded her head mutely. "Now go back and help the others, I'll be fine."

Giving her one last apologetic look, Tessa jogged back out to the room with all the corpses, Desdemona still giving orders as the bodies were cleared to the sides and sandbags were rushed in to reinforce the room. She quickly made her way to where Desdemona was discussing with Deacon and Tessa's companions, Cait looking positively miffed to have missed a lot of fighting while MacCready for once appeared to be serious. "Bullseye, are you ready to fight?" Asked the leader of the Railroad, Desdemona's features heavy with tension.

"Bullseye?" Snorted MacCready, "the hell do they call you that for?"

"She's one damn good shot," said Deacon.

MacCready tipped his hat back some in challenge. "Maybe we should have a competition sometime..."

"MacCready of all the times-"

"Focus people!" Snapped Desdemona, all eyes falling on her. "Your friends here cleared the Brotherhood out from behind, but they spotted vertibirds incoming as well. Who knows how long until they get here, we need to prepare."

"We can't let them get this close, they'll have us pinned down and then we'll just be waiting for them to finish us off. We need to secure the church," said Tessa. Deacon and Desdemona nodded their heads in agreement. "You keep people prepping in here in case we fail, but let some of us try to hold the church."

"Sounds like a good fight!" Said Cait with an all too eager grin. "MacCready, Tessa and I can stomp these bucket heads into dust!"

Desdemona narrowed her eyes with thought. "You could get yourselves killed," she said gravely.

"I can always do that," countered Tessa, "We either hole up like prey waiting for the slaughter or we show them we're not going to go down so easily."

Letting out a shaky breath, Desdemona nodded her head. "Alright... Be careful please, we can't lose you too." Her eyes flickered over to where Glory's body lay, and Tessa placed a hand on her shoulder. "All of you, please, make it back."

"Nothing can kill us," boasted Cait. Tessa gave her a crooked smile, wistful for her confidence, and then nodded her head to Desdemona. The four of them turned around and started down the corridor that the Brotherhood had come from, entering the catacombs. Their heavy footfalls echoed in the slightly flooded tunnels beneath the church, glowing mushrooms the only illumination as they raced down the slightly irradiated corridors. What once acted as a secret door into the Railroad had been blown apart, Deacon making a noise of disgust once they passed it. Turning hard left they encountered the bodies of Brotherhood soldiers Tessa's friends had battled, several of them sporting gaping gashes from Cait's deathclaw gauntlet.

Soon enough they were sprinting up the old wooden stairs that had some more bodies inside it, and before them was a chapel long since fallen from grace. The large chamber had two levels to it, the bottom floor littered with broken pews and while bibles and hymnals were scattered about or burned to a crisp. The second level was supposed to have more pews and places to sit, encircling the first on all but the front side and were supported by leaning pillars. The closest section to the door they'd come through had collapsed, and on the far side opposite the entrance the second level had also collapsed, destroying where the priest would have given his sermons. The high vaulted ceiling had survived the apocalypse, but several of the upper beams wouldn't last much longer. Tessa had all of three seconds to take that in before she spotted the ten paladins and knights in gleaming power suits and shouted for everyone to take cover.

Lasers slammed into the wood that protected them, the pure heat behind them seeping through the walls and Tessa had to grit her teeth to keep from making any noise as it felt like she was being burned anyways. MacCready dropped low, his sniper ready, while Deacon swore and prepared to fire in the inevitable break that was reloading with the railway rifle. Cait however, much to Tessa's annoyance, dove right out into the pews, fully intent on moving into a close enough range to use her favorite melee weapon. "Wait!" Shouted Tessa, tossing a grenade into the large room and sending splinters and half broken boards flying. A knight shouted in pain, and Deacon fired three spikes into his chest but it was unclear if he was dead or not as he fell in his armor.

MacCready dashed out next, skirting the edge and running like hell to the other side of the church. The majority of their enemies were focused on the advancing redhead rather than him, only one shooting after him as he sprinted past. Tessa tossed another grenade, Deacon fired once more, and Cait found herself close enough to start tearing plates of armor off with terrible strikes on an isolated soldier. A paladin rushed at her as she destroyed a part of the power armor, shooting bolts of red light but his weapon exploded as a pair of V.A.T.S. guided bullets shot straight through the fusion cell. He shouted in fury and resorted to punching at the brawling woman who cackled and dodged away with ease.

Tessa wasn't certain where the other hat loving member of the team had run off to, but a few moments later there was continual sniper fire from up high in the church. It was too dark to tell where he was, keeping the Brotherhood of Steel from simply blasting him into ash. She grinned to herself, and added her own long ranged fire with her hunting rifle. A bullet tore through the visor of one suit of armor and the paladin fell like an anvil. Deacon's railway rifle was massacring anything that got in its way, the spikes shooting off whole parts of armor thanks to the insane amount of velocity behind it. Tessa wasn't certain how it was doing it, but she would have to thank Tinker Tom later for such a beautiful weapon. With a steady aim she fired again and again, bullets pinging off armor or driving home between weak points.

Cait ducked behind a half shattered pillar, taking cover from an onslaught of laser fire. As she went to move to another spot, a paladin rammed through it, catching her back and sending her flying forward into the nearby rubble with a cry of pain. He loomed over Cait, internal transmitter echoing his sadistic cackles as he rose a heavy boot up and slammed it down into the stunned woman's chest. Tessa screamed and swapped weapons for the railway rifle, thoughtlessly charging out of cover. The first spike she fired tore into the paladin's knee, the second his arm, and the third ended up impaled in his hip. He shouted and wildly fired at her, Tessa sliding behind what was left of a pair of pews and dodging his returning fire. His attention drawn on the former vault dweller, he didn't notice Cait rising up from below, a particularly vengeful look upon her face. The deathclaw gauntlet easily sliced through the armor her wore, and Tessa could only grimace as Cait decapitated the man and threw his bleeding head, helmet and all, at the nearest combatant.

Having left her more secured place of cover, Tessa's heart was racing as she realized there were a lot of red marks in her corner of vision coming from her side. She twisted about just in time to see a knight charging her, and three spikes to the visor were enough to stop him. They didn't stop his own attack however, and Tessa shouted in pain as lasers burned her sides and chest. She fumbled with a stimpak, gritting her teeth as she tried to focus on injecting herself with the healing item. A hand helped her, and she blinked at Cait who winked before dashing away to brawl some other Brotherhood soldier. The sounds of some other soldier falling was a welcome noise, but the following explosion and MacCready's cry brought Tessa to her feet once more.

It would seem they'd discovered where the sniper was shooting from, the smoldering remains of some pews all she saw but no man in sight. Screaming with a renewed fury, Tessa pictured MacCready dead besides Glory and she rushed the first soldier she saw. She wasn't certain how many spikes a person could survive to the face, but she made certain they wouldn't live through her attack. It wasn't hard to aim at the hulking forms of the paladins, ten spikes ending up in either the head or chest and they groaned only once before toppling over. Something slammed into her side, sending her flying into a pew that shattered upon impact. Rising up with a scowl that could freeze a deathclaw in place, Tessa swore violently and dodged the oncoming attack. She felt bullets and lasers both zoom past her, heat of two kinds flooding over her body. The whole battlefield felt focused on whatever got in her way next, the woman hardly able to differentiate between friend and foe and was glad that she could tell one thing, if it wore power armor it was dead.

Something stabbed through her leg, sending her stumbling but she refused to stop despite the agony that shot through her body. Cait rushed past her in a blur of red, and the sounds of some other knight dying and a whole host of swears that could make even Tessa blush reached her ears. Then someone else screamed, and she spotted Deacon struggling to stay standing as a portion of his shirt disintegrated and a terrible burn appeared on his side. A paladin threw Cait, the woman sailing across the church and slamming into another half broken pillar. She struggled to get up, arms shaking and giving out beneath her several times before Cait collapsed with a groan. _One, two, three, four..._ She counted her friends in her head, MacCready still not having shown up yet and in defeat she reached into her pockets and pulled out another syringe of psychojet. Truth be told she wasn't even certain if she actually needed it, or if she simply wanted the assurance it brought along with the rush through her veins. Either way, she felt as if she had no choice and injected herself again with a cry of defiance as she ran at the nearest Brotherhood of Steel paladin.

The battle grew into a haze of heat and blood, the smell of bullets and laser fire mixing with the stench of death. She wasn't fully aware of what she was doing anymore, the jolt of recoil shooting through her as she fired again and again. Each time she reloaded felt like an agonizing break before she sent death sailing once again. Bodies dropped, blood was spilt, bullets struck her and she stumbled only to get up and inject herself once again. She stomped over dropped syringes, psychojet and stimpaks alike, blinded by fury and bloodlust. Each burn of a laser simply goaded her along and she would punish her attacker with a vile rage. By the time it was over the church had been laid waste to. Tessa wasn't certain how she ended up standing over the body of a paladin, railroad spikes plunged into his skull and shattering his helmet, nor could she discern why she couldn't feel a thing. Her body was numb, cold as the grave and even her breaths felt icy as she panted heavily over the armored corpse. Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears, and blood trickled slowly down her brow and into her right eye. The only thing she felt was the rush of psychojet in her veins before it too ebbed away.

The rifle dropped from her grip, clattering loudly on the floor of the place of worship, before she joined it. Through her blurry vision she could see Cait and MacCready running towards her, battered and bruised, arms looping around her own and felt her feet dragging along the ground as they carried her to where Deacon was limping over. Cait was uttering something in her ear, and the cold prickle of a stimpak being injected in her arm followed but she hardly registered any of it. She knew she was supposed to be hurting, but instead everything felt oddly soothing. With a crooked grin her head dipped and she fell into darkness.


	5. Recovery

"I can't believe you!"

Tessa Grey blinked as she stirred, everything around her blurry and painful to look at. She sucked in a sharp breath of air as the first sensations returned, pain filling her from head to toe. "Oh hell," she muttered, leaning her head back into the straw pillow beneath her. "Why does everything hurt?" She moaned, trying to bring a hand to her face to block out the orange light but she lacked the strength to move it more than an inch.

"Perhaps it's because you nearly overdosed yourself on chems!" Snapped Piper, Tessa just barely able to make out her face in the corner of her vision. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Piper, please, please do not shout right now," begged Tessa, eyes shut and fresh waves of pain rolled through her skull.

The reporter scowled heavily, and lowered her voice but the frustration and anger was still as powerful as before. "I leave you alone for five minutes because I get shot and you nearly kill yourself with psychojet? How stupid can you be?"

"Didn't you call me smart the other day?"

"Yeah well now you're an idiot."

Tessa dared open one eye, having to focus terribly hard on the brunet sitting in a chair nearby. Guilt swam up her as she took in the hurt and worry that was splashed across Piper's face, the justifiable anger swirling in dark hazel eyes telling Tessa no matter how many times she apologized she wasn't going to be forgiven until Piper was ready. Sighing heavily, she shifted a bit where she lay. "I'm sorry."

"Ninety Nine to go."

"I'm sorry, really," Tessa said, trying to shift up to a sitting position but her body refused to listen. "What happened though? Did we stop the Brotherhood?"

Glaring at her for a few moments as if debating giving her an answer or having someone else do it, Piper nodded her head. "You and the others beat them. I guess they didn't want to keep throwing soldiers down there."

"Down _there_?" Balked Tessa.

"We're not in the church anymore Blue, your Railroad pals figured it'd be unsafe. We're in another safehouse now, it's pretty close actually, couldn't risk going too far in broad daylight with so many people." Her words were short and professional, exasperation in her eyes but she refused to allow her voice to betray her.

Tessa sighed ruefully, but it wasn't going to change the stubborn reporter's mind. "How are the others?"

"MacCready is pretty battered but he'll be fine. Deacon is having some trouble breathing, Curie suspects one of his ribs might have been broken if not outright disintegrated." Tessa's eyes widened at the thought. "He can survive it but she'll have to remove the damaged bone if it's true, otherwise he has a pile of ash in his chest that's mildly radioactive, could cause problems down the line. She said she can't be certain until she gets him under an X-Ray but where the hell is the Railroad going to pull one of those outta? She can't just feel the thing up either because it could be only part of his rib disintegrated."

Tessa winced as she attempted to sit up once more, and after much struggling she managed. "What about Cait?"

"I swear she's invincible," said Piper with a faint bit of awe, "she took more blows than anyone and she's still standing. She took a few stimpaks, downed some chem-cocktail and was good to go. Curie gave her an earful but she's ready to fight already."

"Must've been from her days in the Combat Zone," snickered Tessa, glad to hear the redhead wasn't severely injured. "And you?"

Piper's lips drew into a thin line, and she looked away. "You shot me Blue, and I can't figure out why."

"I thought you were the Brotherhood..."

"But you should have been able to tell we were friendly," Piper accused softly, "you've explained how that PipBoy of your's works before, and I do recall thinking how nifty it is that it can determine if someone is hostile or not. So I keep trying to figure out how you mistook us for the enemy and then Deacon tells me you'd been using chems in all the fighting so I can't help but wonder if you'd impaired yourself somehow."

"Piper-"

"Just tell me one thing Blue, were you high?" Tessa's voice caught in her throat, and she lowered her gaze. "Thought so." With that, Piper rose to her feet and limped out of the small room she and Tessa were in. Left alone, watching her leave with guilt and shame, Tessa finally took notice of her surroundings. She was on a mattress that'd been thrown haphazardly into a corner, an IV drip and blood pack nearby going into her left arm. Several other mattresses and chairs littered the room, and the door Piper had left through was actually a sheet draped over the doorway. Over on a wardrobe a lantern was lit, the only source of illumination in the room but it burned brightly. There was a pungent odor in the room that made her crinkled her nose with disgust.

All she wanted to do was curl up and figure out how to make things right, but her time alone was cut short as Curie entered and fixed Tessa with as detached a look as she could manage. "You are most lucky that your blood is AB positive or we might not be having this conversation," said Curie as she crossed over, wearing what Tessa suspected to be one of Dr. Carrington's coats. The smatterings of blood on it raised many mental alarms. "What you did was most foolish."

"You too?"

Curie stomped a foot, holding a syringe in hand. "Madame I fail to understand why you would do something so risky," she said, hurt in her voice, "you might not have survived it."

"Curie... MacCready could have been dead, Cait was passed out and Deacon was shot and could barely stand," Tessa replied, "there was still so many paladins left and I was hurt, what else could I have done?"

"There are many adverse effects of using chemical enhancements, not to mention the risk of addiction which leads to further damage. Surely you considered this and alternate courses of action before you took them non?"

"What do you want me to say?" Tessa snapped, "It was take the chems or let them kill us and then kill all of you!" Curie flinched away, nearly tripping over the seat Piper had been in and Tessa's heart skipped with regret instantly. "I'm sorry I just... My head hurts and I don't feel like another lecture," she swiftly apologized, a hand going to her brow. "Everything hurts actually."

Curie watched her for a few moments before nodding her head slowly. "We had to flush your system... You'll experience severe weakness for at least a few hours more." She stepped over and injected Tessa with the syringe she'd brought with her. "This should help with pain."

"Thanks... I'm sorry, really..."

Dark eyes flickered up to her green orbs, and Curie bit her lip. "Madame Piper says I should be angry with you," she admitted.

"Are you?"

Curie struggled to respond, starting to say something only for the words to stop before they left her lips and she'd sigh with frustration. Sitting down on the edge of the mattress, Curie looked down at her hands. "I am, but I am also sad and worried... I think. My stomach is in knots and I feel a terrible pain in my chest, and thinking of you makes me feel what I know to be anger but also... I was terrified that you were going to die... I do not want to lose you." She turned her head enough to look at Tessa who was frowning.

"Sounds like you're hurt, and worried and angry."

"I can feel many things at one time?" Curie flushed heavily.

Despite herself, Tessa laughed. "It sucks right?"

"Sucks? How could emotions suck, they do not have mouths... Do they?"

"No I-" Tessa sighed, laughing softly as she leaned her head back against the wall. "Nevermind..."

Curie blinked at her, confused, but let it go. "I would like to ask you a few things, if you are feeling well enough that is."

"Of course."

"These may not be the easiest of questions..."

"Curie, whatever you ask I will answer to the best of my ability."

The former robot watched her for a few long moments and then nodded her head. "How often do you take chemical enhancements?"

"Just when I'm in a real pinch, like earlier."

"What do you use?"

"Psychojet mostly, the occasional buffout or psycho and jet straight."

"Why do you use them?"

Tessa blinked, her brow knitting together. "Uh, depends. Psychojet is when I'm in a fight and I need some extra 'oompf' to finish it. Buffout when I have to carry something heavy, like an injured friend, out of the fire and sometimes I just don't have them readily mixed."

"But why?"

Frowning, Tessa felt a pinprick of anger at the back of her head, slowly spreading outwards across her mind. "Because I need them. Just look at me, do I look like some tough brute? I would've died several times over if not for the boost the chems give me."

"Do you ever feel as if you need to take these substances when not in combat?"

"You think I'm addicted!" Tessa realized, wishing she could shuffle away in revolt but she didn't even have the strength to lift her hands any more. "Are you kidding me?"

"Non."

"I am not an addict," she said firmly, "and I can't believe any of you would think that."

"Monsieur MacCready admitted he brought the chemicals with us upon your request, and you used two of them before you were even in the church. Madame Cait informed me of the signs of addiction, and her experience with psycho proved invaluable to analyze your situation. I fear you are very close to forming a dependency upon these chemical substances. They could severely damage your inner organs and you cannot be repaired as easily as I once was. Cancer, lung or heart failure, blood poisoning, and many other diseases are very real possibilities!"

Tessa gritted her teeth, unable to look at the synth at her side. "I am not addicted, I don't need them I just use them."

"Cait also said defensive denial is the normal reaction to confrontation."

"Cait also thinks it's fun to get drunk and try to jump from the top of the movie screen to see if she can land in the pond." Tessa's hands balled into fists and she glared at Curie. "I changed my mind, we're not talking about this anymore."

"But-"

"Tell Desdemona I'm up, because I'm not discussing this any further."

Recoiling, Curie stood up and stared at her, struggling once more with her emotions but it didn't take long for her to realize which one was the strongest and with a brisk nod she departed. Tessa watched her go, bristling, and then sighed as the tension began to leave her body. To put it shortly she felt like shit, her body heavy with exhaustion and rippling with pain anytime she tried and failed to move. It couldn't even begin to compare to the emotional turmoil she was in however, indigence and guilt washing over her in equal parts, drowning her in the choices she'd made. She managed to bring her hands to her face, gritting her teeth and wanting to scream but lacking the strength to do it.

She could see Deacon leaning against the wooden doorway when she closed her eyes, agony splashed across his face as he tried to keep from toppling over. Cait as she lay on the church floor, bloodied and bruised, flashed through her mind and MacCready's scream echoed in her ears. The paladins brought their lasers to bare and fired into her, turning her into ash one shot at a time. _I had no choice._ She thought to herself, trying to calm down, trying to make sense of what had happened. She pictured the knight as he crushed Cait's chest, how he was willing to cruelly stomp on her until she'd turned into paste beneath his boot. What else could she have done, let them all die? She tore her hands away from her face and managed to move her legs, bringing them up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. It hurt, but she felt a bit better having done it.

The room was silent, something Tessa both appreciated and cursed. Silence meant no one was asking her questions, accusing her of making mistakes or trying to understand something that to her was simple. It also meant that she was left with her thoughts with no distraction, and unable to even get up from the bed she couldn't even do something physical to keep her busy. So when another body slipped through the curtain and in came Desdemona, she wasn't certain if she should have been relieved or not.

"Bullseye," she said, staying by the door, "how are you feeling?"

"I can't even get up, so, terrible."

"I'm sorry to hear... I wanted to thank you." Tessa blinked, frowning. "None of us would have made it out of there if not for you."

Waving, or rather trying and failing to, a hand, Tessa barely managed to shrug. "I wasn't the only one fighting."

Desdemona nodded. "I know, we lost many... Lancer, Charmer, Fixer, Digit... Glory." She sniffled softly but her face remained a mix of grief and determination. "But we would have lost more if not for you. I know what you've had to sacrifice, your son... I could not have asked for a more loyal agent and for that I want to thank you. You've had ample reason to align yourself with any every or none of our enemies but instead you sided with us. You're our best fighter now Bullseye, believe it or not. I haven't had as much action as I used to, not since I became the leader and Dr. Carrington is mercifully better with a syringe than he is a gun. It was Glory, Deacon and you that were our top."

"How'd I get to be one of the best so fast?"

"Purpose," said Desdemona, "I know you've been with us for a little over a month now but you've saved so many synths already and I suspect it's because of what they mean to you. They're not just another people or sentient robots or anything like that to you, not since you discovered the truth about your son at least. Don't think I didn't notice, ever since when you came back and gave us your first report after visiting the Institute you've been a different woman. The synths mean something to you, and like it or not you're a woman that can get things done and would be damned to sit on her hands and not try. Maybe you couldn't save your son, but maybe you can save these people, and I think that's why you put so much of yourself into it. You needed a purpose when you woke up, and you found it in chasing after your son. When that was taken, we were all you had left. Sure you could maybe find happiness with Piper and Curie and your other friends, but you'd be eaten up inside for not doing something, for giving up, for letting those that wronged you win. You can't take back your son, but you can take their little toys and give them a real life."

"You seem to know me pretty well."

Shrugging, she walked over and sat down in the chair. "There are only three people who know pretty much everything in the Railroad; Deacon, P.A.M. and myself, and of course we could always wipe the robot." She reached into one of her pockets and pulled out a cigarette carton, lighting one and taking a long drag. As she exhaled the smoke, she offered the carton to Tessa. "Want one?"

"I think my lovers will kill me if I pick up anymore habits when they think I've already got a nasty one."

Shrugging, Desdemona put it away. "I could have died yesterday."

"Yesterday? How long have I been out?"

"Twelve hours, give or take a few minutes and if you don't count every time you woke up before now."

"What? How many times is that?"

Desdemona squinted. "Five? Most of them were no longer than a few minutes and you were babbling on about this or that. A few times you scared those two half to death they thought you were just going to keel over. You actually told them you loved them once and then got really quiet, after several minutes of coughing. I've never seen two women so afraid."

"You're kidding," exclaimed Tessa.

Smirking, Desdemona shrugged. "I might be exaggerating a little but you did almost die a few times, something about the psychojet messing with your heart. Dr. Carrington and Curie were round the clock trying to keep you alive, plus dealing with the others that are hurt. My point was, might as well enjoy the small things when you can right?"

Eyeing her slightly, Tessa sighed and wiggled her fingers in a way that made Desdemona smirk and give her a cigarette, lighting it for her as well. "So what's the plan boss?" Asked the blonde after she took a drag.

"Rest for now," she said before sighing, "And then we take the fight to the Brotherhood."

"How? They've got an army."

"By doing the one thing we can do, sabotage..." Desdemona fixed her with a heavy look.

"And you want me to do it, don't you?"

Dipping her head a bit, Desdemona didn't answer until she'd taken another drag. The room reeked of smoke but Tessa didn't care, smoking had been feverishly popular back before the war, it didn't change one bit after either. "Like I said, you're one of our best. We're down two with Deacon having to recover and no one else is as talented as you with sneaking around where you shouldn't be."

"I can't even stand yet," argued Tessa.

"I know, which is why I said rest. It'll give us time to work out the fine details of the plan anyways, but pretty soon we're going to have to do something a bit stupid to get results and make sure we're going to survive. They targeted you which means they've targeted one of us. You're family Bullseye, and I'm not going to lose another member if I can help it."

Tessa nodded her head softly. "My friends?"

"They were willing to give their lives for us, as far as I can tell they're allies. Curie especially has been a tremendous aid in tending to the wounded, I'm sure Glory would be proud to know what she's doing."

"She's not G5-19, she's Curie, she's not who that synth was..."

"Maybe, but when I see her that's who's face I see. I know you never knew her but G5-19 was a good synth, honest and brave... She reminds me of Curie now. Who knows, maybe it's all the way her or maybe she's someone new?"

Tessa bristled slightly, glaring at Desdemona intently. "And I knew Curie before we transferred her consciousness, she's the same Curie as before."

"Really? I'd have thought something would have changed from becoming a robot to a synth... Then again I'm no expert on the science I just know how to keep them safe." They Anyways I didn't mean to upset you, just talking out loud I suppose."

Snorting softly, the blonde took another drag and watched the smoke curl up towards the roof. "So where are we?"

"Imperial Safehouse," she said and it took Tessa a minute to remember what that was, an old hidden away bar that used to double as a strip club and she'd always suspected a brothel even. She'd heard plenty of tales of how the pretty lady would distract many a man and one way or another would lose a few dollars or a wallet in its entirety. Though she was fairly certain they'd just lost their cash because they'd been tipping the workers. She'd visited once or twice before she and Nate had tied the knot, pleasant memories of beautiful women and fine drink filling her mind.

"It's a vexing place," she quoted an old saying, smirking a bit. "No wonder it smells like sex even after two hundred years."

"I shudder at the thought of all the whores that'd been put to work where your head rests even if it's not the same mattress," snickered Desdemona, "but it's hidden enough that we don't have to worry about just anyone happening by and getting curious if there's good salvage here. Boarded up the windows and all that and it looks as desolate as everything else." She patted Tessa's shoulder as she stood up. "Now get some more rest. When you're feeling good enough we'll discuss the plan."

"Not gonna share anything with me now?"

"Takes too much time and you know how I hate repeating myself," she said, shrugging. "When you can walk straight we'll move on with it so make sure you're ready." She was already at the curtain door, and gave a little half salute before slipping out. Tessa watched her go, and the moment she was alone the same crushing feelings of guilt and anger washed over her and she buried her face in the scratchy straw pillow beneath her, hoping to find some sleep but it was as elusive as ever.


	6. Precipice of War

The old strip club had converted well into a safehouse for the Railroad, the secluded rooms perfect places to hide if anyone grew curious for salvage. They were also working splendidly to house the injured agents after the Brotherhood attack. When Tessa had felt strong enough to leave the room she'd been in, she'd passed four others where she spotted her companions. The first room had been MacCready, the sniper giving her a crooked smile upon finding she could stand once more. They chatted briefly about what happened but Tessa could tell her didn't really want to talk about what had happened to her in specific, instead what they needed to do and boasting about how many knights he'd shot through the visor. She was rather grateful for that.

Next was Cait, the redheaded woman glaring so angrily at her she'd first thought she wasn't going to get anything more from her but was soon prove wronged. Cait was without a doubt furious with her for giving in to nearly the same chemical that had been ruling her life for years. Tessa was damn near certain the whole safehouse heard the colorful words the fist fighter used to express the full extent of her anger and frustration. Never in all her life would the former lawyer had expected a lecture on chem usage so exact from Cait before, but when she'd finally been allowed to leave and process it all she could certainly understand why Cait was so upset with her. Just a few weeks back they'd traveled to Vault 95 and cured her of a nearly lifelong addiction to psycho. The only thing she'd been able to say in her defense was that she'd been using the stuff even before they'd met, but that'd just made Cait all the more angry.

The third room was Deacon's, the man laying down on a bed and taking slow, deliberate breathes as Dr. Carrington examined him once again. Her gaze lingered on what would no doubt scar, a webbing of burnt skin across his ribcage. It looked like he was in a lot of pain, making her doubt that he'd be participating in any operations for some time. A pang of guilt shot thought her at the thought of how she hadn't been strong enough to protect him, that despite everything she'd failed him. Pushing past him, having to use the wall for support the whole time, she eventually came to the forth room. The soft voices inside made her heart ache, unable to bring herself to move an inch more as she listened.

"What are we to do?" Whispered Curie, the sounds of cloth shifting reaching Tessa's ears, and Piper muttered softly in pain.

"I'm not sure... I don't want to think about what happens if she's already been affected by the chems. Jet on its own is highly addictive, who knows what they're doing to her together. Only she knows how long she's been using them too." Something was thrown across the room, hitting a wall with a soft thump. "Dammit I wish there was something I could do for her but I'm helpless. Why didn't I see what was happening to her? Why didn't I try to stop her the few times I saw her use chems in a fight? Why didn't I-"

Her words were cut short and Tessa heard the soft noise of a kiss. "We both have failed her," whispered Curie after a moment.

"Gee, that sure makes me feel better," groused Piper.

It was silent for a few minutes, Tessa just faintly making out a snipping noise and Piper once more muttered in pain. "When we are no longer fearing the Brotherhood, I would like to examine her properly," said Curie as footsteps reached Tessa's ears.

"Where would we need to take her?"

"Vault 81 is the only place I can think of that would have the proper equipment."

There was a heavy gap of silence, and Tessa dared peak through the curtain blocking them from view. Piper was sitting on the edge of the mattress, this one raised on an old rusty bed frame. Curie had been dressing her wound it seemed, Piper's pants rolled up to give her easy access to where she'd been shot. Bandages and scissors rested nearby on an end table, a bottle of some sanitizing liquid besides them. What drew Tessa's attention, was Piper holding Curie's cheek, the synth on her knees by Piper's bandaged leg. "Do you think you could go back there? You've had problems with it before..."

Curie averted her gaze, and gave a brisk nod. "For Madame, I would return to my old body if need be."

With a half smile, Piper brushed some hair back from Curie's face. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that, I quite like being able to see you smile." Curie blushed fiercely. "That too."

Tessa ducked back around the wall, her heart near to panic in her chest. Had she made them feel responsible for what was happening to her? It'd certainly never been her intent. Guilt rose up her, and she struggled with swallowing it down behind the reminders that they were all alive only because she'd taken the chems... weren't they?

Pressing her back to the glitter and dust coated wall, she tried to calm down before proceeding. The Brotherhood of Steel was no doubt hunting for all of them, and the longer they waited the more time they had to find them. Moving as swiftly as she could past the curtain hiding her two loves from view, she tried to straighten her gait out. Her body still ached but she knew she couldn't waste any more time resting. The hall had more private rooms she had to limp past, only finding the strength to do so on her own by the time she'd reached the stairs. She glanced down at her PipBoy as she worked her way downstairs to the main floor, the integrated medical systems telling her that all her wounds had healed and she should have been at full health ready to go. Grimacing at its inability to sense soreness and general crummy feelings, she arrived on the bottom level and took in the makeshift Railroad HQ.

The stage had been converted into about the same thing the brick circle had been beneath the church, maps and plans spread across it as Desdemona pooled over something. Tinker Tom was fiddling with one of his special rifles, goggles down and giving it a keen inspection. P.A.M. was spouting off different variables and possibilities, a pair of agents scribbling down what she said and Drummer Boy would run messages back between Desdemona and the guards that were watching through the few gaps in the barricaded windows. The bar remained deserted, and Tessa couldn't help but wonder if that was because nothing was in it, or if they were staying focused rather than getting drunk and stupid.

As she walked over, Desdemona looked up and gave her a smile that no doubt meant she was relieved to see her moving. "Are you ready?" She asked.

Shrugging, Tessa took a look at the various things on the stage. "As I'll ever be. Let's take these bastards out."

Smiling, Desdemona waved the blue jacket wearing Drummer Boy over, and he nearly skipped across to her. "Go get those going on the mission," she ordered, and with a salute he dashed upstairs. Tinker Tom peeked up from his work and padded over, a grin on his face that could only tell Tessa that whatever the plan was, he'd had a hand in crafting it. A few minutes of waiting later, Cait, MacCready, Piper and Curie all came down stairs along with three agents Tessa had only met in passing before. She narrowed her eyes softly as she caught Piper's soft limp, but the brunet straightened up as she caught her gaze and Tessa sighed.

"Bullseye, allow me to formally introduce you to some of your fellow agents," Desdemona said, indicating the three dressed in Railroad armor. "Whisper," a small asian woman with choppy black hair that gave a polite nod. "Valor," a tall pale man with several scars adorning his hardened face. "And Tango," a rather suave tan looking fellow that made Tessa wonder if he could dance or talk anything out of its pants.

"Nice to meet you," she offered, getting warm greetings from the men while Whisper just nodded.

"Is it time to stomp those buckets into scrap?" Grinned Cait, cracking a few knuckles expectantly.

"Just about," said Desdemona, gesturing to Tinker Tom who looked excited. "It's time we struck back at the Brotherhood in the least likely way they'd ever expect. We've built several contingencies, but we have but only one option before us. Tom?" She smiled at him.

The coverall wearing man jumped forward, hands risen in an over the top gesture. "Operation Red Glare everybody!" All eight of them blinked at the dark skinned man and he rolled his eyes with a soft grumble. "We're going to strike at the Prydwen itself."

Before anyone could say a thing, Tessa stepped forward and fixed Desdemona with a heavy glare. "What?"

"How else will we defeat them? We could scrap with their patrols but they'll always have us outgunned and outnumbered. The only option we have is to cripple them in a way that will take them a considerable length of time to recover from. The Prydwen gives them an innumerable number of advantages over us."

"There are children on it," growled Tessa.

The excitement died in a moment, everyone stiffening and watching the pair closely. Desdemona blinked, seemingly shocked, and dipped her head. "Then they'll be collateral damage."

With a roar Tessa stepped further forward and punched her, catching the redhead off-guard and she stumbled back into the stage. "Goddamn children!" Screamed Tessa as she advanced after her, but Valor and Tango easily hauled her away. "What you'll just condemn them to be caught up in a war they didn't ask for! You're just like everyone else!" She shouted as she struggled against the larger men, unable to break free as they restrained her.

"We didn't know there were children," said Desdemona, spitting a bit of blood onto the floor and wiping her mouth. "But we don't have any other options. Nothing else will work. The Brotherhood with that airship means the eventual defeat of the Railroad. Maybe the Institute as well but our demise is guaranteed. If they brought children with them into a warzone then they knew exactly what they were doing."

"Blue why do they have kids with them?" Piper asked, warily looking between the enraged blonde and the leader of the Railroad.

Tessa scowled heavily, still trying to free herself from the pair of agents. "They're squires, Brotherhood soldiers in training. Sometimes they'll leave the ship for training, to watch what knights and paladins do... I took a few out and showed them how to clear out super mutants and feral ghouls."

"Child soldiers?" Uttered MacCready in disbelief.

"No, nothing like that. They don't fight, they just learn."

"Is there no way to get them off the ship?" Inquired Valor, his voice rumbling in Tessa's ear. "To get them safe?"

"No," interjected Desdemona, her tone firm. "Those... squires will be loyal to the Brotherhood of Steel, and if you try to get them off the ship you'll risk tipping the rest of them off. Not to say they won't just try to turn you in themselves. As much as it pains me to say it, we can't risk ourselves for a bunch of indoctrinated children. Besides, what will become of them afterwards? We'll have destroyed their home, their brothers and sisters, the family they know and are loyal to. It isn't like there's a bunch of orphanages out there ready to accept some Brotherhood of Steel kids."

MacCready stomped a foot. "So what, because you can't use them you'll discard them like trash!"

"That's not what I'm saying," she replied briskly, "what I'm saying is that they'll be in a bad ways after we do this."

"You get synths new lives don't you," asked Piper with narrowed eyes, "why can't you just do the same?"

"Because most of the synths we rescue end up having jobs somewhere else, hiding in plain sight with a new life. Who will hire a child to do what an adult can and should do? We'd have to find actual families for them, which is a considerably harder task I assure you. Who actually wants to raise a child in the Wasteland? Raiders, the Institute, super mutants, just about everything out there is ready and able to kill adults, children even more so. You're asking us to risk exposing ourselves for future bigots, who knows how brainwashed they'll be. They'll grow up to hate you, and probably try to get revenge when they're old enough. Could you handle that? The children you rescued coming back to kill you?"

Curie shook her head quickly, horror splashed across her face. "Madame Desdemona, surely there is another option."

Lips drawn into a grim frown, Desdemona gave a heavy sigh. "I wish there was. The Brotherhood of Steel is hunting all of us down, including your friends Bullseye. I've already heard chatter of their patrols having increased in the city, they're coming for us and sooner or later they will find us. Tell me Bullseye, do you know another way that we can defeat the Brotherhood without destroying the Prydwen?"

"Elder Maxon!" She offered instantly, "If we killed him-"

"They'll just put someone else in charge and be even more determined to kill us," Desdemona cut her off. Deflating slightly, Tessa struggled with another option but none of them ended up without someone innocent dying or with the Brotherhood of Steel defeated. "I wish, I truly truly wish there were any other options but there isn't. P.A.M. has run these numbers again and again and this is the only thing that can assure we survive this. As terrible as it is, this is the world we live in now. Sometimes there are casualties, people get hurt or die that weren't supposed to. It's a fact of war."

Taking in a slow, angry breath, Tessa fixed her with a defeated glare. "Trust me, I know what it means to see people die in a war they wanted no part of."

Giving her a respectful dip of her head, Desdemona sighed. "I'm sure you do. Look, if you can figure out a way to save those kids then by all means, do so. Just don't risk yourself or the mission for them. The only way this will work is if they don't know what we're about to do."

"Sabotage, I know," bitterly replied Tessa, Valor and Tango finally releasing her. Already she was trying to figure out a way to get the squires to safety. Perhaps she could convince them to go to the flight deck and take a vertibird, but that would rely on them not just telling their superiors that she was on board, or know how to pilot a vertibird because she certainly couldn't. Her mind was a mess of thoughts, and she almost missed Desdemona continuing on with telling them the rest of the plan.

"You're going to hit the Cambridge Police Station, they almost always have a vertibird on the roof. After you secure the station and the bird, it's a two man op from there on. Tom will pilot, and take Bullseye to the Prydwen. You'll need to set explosive charges along the hydrogen gas bags to assure it goes down."

Piper's eyes widened largely. "Sounds like it'll be a big explosion."

"Which is why they're hooked up to a detonator not a timer, that way Tom can fly you two far enough away that you'll be out of harm's way."

"Unlike the children," muttered MacCready.

Desdemona gave another sigh. "Yes, unlike the children."

The air was thick in the safehouse, eyes darting around to look at each other and see who was alright and who wasn't with the plan. Desdemona's face was a mask best she could manage, though Tessa could see the remorse in her eyes. She didn't want the squires to die but saw no other way. Curie was struggling to understand what they were all talking about, unable to grasp the depth of loss of life they were discussing while Piper was frowning heavily. Cait looked ready to fight, and MacCready was unafraid to show his anger. Whisper was a statue, no emotion upon her face at all while Valor seemed to be a bit rigid though Tessa couldn't tell if that was his default expression or not. Tango was picking at some part of his armor as if to distract himself. When she looked into Tinker Tom's eyes, knowing he had devised some part of this plan himself, she was met with sadness.

"So if it's just Tom and Tessa going to the Prydwen," asked Tango slowly with a smooth voice, "Are the rest of us just assuring we capture the vertibird?"

With a nod, Tinker Tom spoke up. "See, we can't let any of them warn the momma ship that we're coming on one of their little birds. We have to make sure none of them get a message out. There's also a chance that they'll send someone out to investigate and we can't risk them finding a bunch of bodies."

"So we're the clean up crew?" Cait spat.

He gave a shrug, "I suppose."

"How am I supposed to get through the Prydwen when they're all looking for me? It's not like I can just hide my PipBoy."

"Can you not remove it?" Asked Curie with alarm.

"I could, but I'm not gonna lie this thing has saved my life more times than I can count."

With a shake of her head, Desdemona gestured to a set of boxes across the way. "We already accounted for that. We have enough stealth boys that so long as you don't wait around, you should be able to get in and out without being detected once you board. Tom will keep the Brotherhood from asking any questions about the bird while it's docked."

Suddenly Curie perked up, smiling at Tessa with a gleeful laugh. "Madame! Your power armor!"

Tessa blinked, before the smile spread to her face and she pulled the synth into a tight hug. "You're brilliant!" She praise as she let her go, looking at a very confused Desdemona. "I have Brotherhood of Steel issued power armor, if I wear that they'll mistake me as any other knight. I might be able to get the squires to think I'm taking them on a training mission and no one will know it's me."

Frowning at the thought, Desdemona scratched at her neck before turning to the side. "P.A.M. add in Bullseye disguised in power armor, what does that change?"

The modified assaultron chirped and bleeped for a few moments before responding in a feminine voice, "Probability of success increased by fifteen percent."

Nodding her head, Desdemona turned back to Tessa. "Alright, where's your armor?"

"Taffington Boathouse, north of Bunker Hill."

"It'll take a bit of time but it'll be worth it," she replied, looking at the trio of agents that were with them. "Valor, you know the area don't you?" He gave a nod. "Good, you three go and secure that suit of armor, we can't risk any of you or your friends in the open right now Bullseye." Already the trio were starting towards the door, grabbing some stealth boys as they went. "This could work," said Desdemona with a relieved tone. "But remember, don't risk the mission."

"I won't, but I'll be damned if I let some kids burn."

"Prep for a fight, as soon as those three are back you're to head to the police station," ordered the redheaded Railroad leader.

"Understood," replied Tessa, stepping away. Her stomach was doing flips at the thought of children getting mixed up in all the fighting, but the chance that she could save some was enough to make her feel like she could breathe. Making her way to where a bunch of chairs were, she sat down and tried to mentally prepare for what was to come. She knew the Cambridge Police Station, it'd been where she'd first met Paladin Danse and learned of the Brotherhood of Steel. She could remember coming across the man as he tried to defend his sole remaining squad members from oncoming wave after wave of feral ghouls. At first she hadn't been certain if she could even help them, but when Knight Rhys went down and Scribe Haylen had to stop fighting in order to tend to him it'd left her with no choice and Tessa had come running to their side. That'd been the start of a fairly pleasant friendship.

Despite Paladin Danse's initial skepticism, she'd proven to be a capable fighter and soon enough he was asking if she wished to continue assisting them before eventually the offer of her joining the Brotherhood was proposed. Some part of her regretted accepting it, of even helping them seeing as now she would have to attack the very place that for a short while acted as a safe haven to her. She could just hope that none of them would be present, out somewhere on a mission or even trying to find her, but deep down she knew that wouldn't be so. Gritting her teeth, Tessa dipped her head in defeat and prepared to kill her former friends, struggling to come to terms with it.

Someone shook her slightly, and Tessa blinked up at MacCready who gave her a sad smile. "Oh, hey," she said.

"Look, I'm gonna be quick, thanks for trying to find another option for those kids," he said half awkwardly.

"Of course."

"It's just, you know where I'm from and... Yeah." He coughed and averted his gaze. "I know that it's going to be hard out there, so I just wanted you to know I've got your back. We all do."

She glanced behind him where Cait was sharpening her deathclaw gauntlet with a knife and Curie and as she returned upstairs with Piper. The synth cast her a look just as she vanished in the stairwell. "Thanks..." she said softly, "I really... really appreciate it."

Patting her shoulder with a childish laugh, he pointed with his thumb over his shoulder. "You know, I've gotta do a bit of cleaning on my rifle, you game?"

Blinking, Tessa thought about it for a minute before blushing. "I don't actually know where my weapons are," she admitted.

Grinning a bit wider, he snickered. "Don't worry, Piper put them somewhere safe. I'll go grab them and the cleaning kit, I'm sure Cait won't mind a bit of company." Without waiting for her response, he turned on his heels and started jogging upstairs.

Sighing after him, Tessa got up from her seat and crossed the safehouse to where Cait was sitting on an edge of the stage that wasn't decorated with maps and schematics. "Hey," greeted Tessa.

"Hey," replied Cait, not looking up from her work. "Nasty business killing kids."

"Yeah..."

"A bunch of screaming little shits I'm sure," she went on, "but still doesn't with right with me." Tessa couldn't bring herself to say anything. Cait continued sharpening the killer gauntlet for a few more minutes before green eyes flicked up to paler ones. "So about those chems..."

Sighing in defeat, Tessa's head hung. "I know I know, they're going to mess me up and I need to stop."

"Yeah, and?"

"And it's only going to get worse."

"And?"

"I am a hypocrite for helping you while I was still taking them."

"And?"

Tessa struggled with finding whatever answer Cait was looking for specifically. "I'm an idiot?"

"Ya can be, but they're also making ya angrier. I don't know if ya noticed, but the Tessa I met wouldn't have punched anyone in the middle of a conversation, no matter how much they deserved it. Don't let 'em change ya like they changed me."

Wordlessly staring at her as Cait returned to sharpening the claws on her favorite melee weapon, she didn't even take in MacCready as he walked up to them, rifles in hand and laying them out to start cleaning. She blinked at the redheaded woman who was keenly silent, before noticing there were two hat wearing friends with her now, Piper looking at her with pained eyes before sitting down and starting to dismantle her pistol. Tessa swallowed dryly, mentally examining her own behavior as of late and questioning everything she'd done since leaving the Vault. Her mind was hardly on her hunting rifle as her hands dismantled it with practiced motions, prepping it for a thorough cleaning. All she could wonder was what had been herself, and what had been the chems.


	7. Operation: Red Glare

Cait's words were still heavy on Tessa's mind as she stood at the edge of College Square, the small shopping district with a terrible feral ghoul problem and located directly next to the Cambridge Police Station that'd been acting as an outpost of the Brotherhood of Steel. The small party of Railroad agents and allies were hidden in one of the abandoned buildings. Tessa suspected it had once been a diner though it obviously hadn't served any customers in centuries, booths were left abandoned and plates unwashed, radioactive dust layering them. The three Railroad agents Desdemona had sent with them were over by the door, watching it carefully as patrols of Brotherhood went by on the far side of the square. They were just about to assault the police station, checking their ammo over one last time and waiting for the break in their security. Since the Brotherhood had come to the Commonwealth they'd done a lot to improve their position, and properly securing what they'd staked their claim on was certainly the first step.

As the patrol passed, Tessa fidgeting in her power armor and wishing she could wipe the sweat forming on her brow, Tinker Tom began to speak. "Okay, we take them out and we should be clear to get to the station," he said, and with a nod the nine of them prepared to fight. Tessa stepped out first, her gun lowered and she cleared her voice.

"Excuse me, soldiers," she called forward, the helmet making her voice sound off and funny. The three of them turned around swiftly, snapping their laser rifles up and glaring at the woman. In the pouring rain of night it was hard to tell who was who, and without the integrated systems of her PipBoy as well as the power armor, Tessa might have been afraid of shooting someone she actually cared about. Instead, as they stood their ground and started shouting at her to identify herself, she could only smirk inside her helmet as Cait, Tango and Whisper snuck up behind them. Before they could even blink their necks had been snapped, and the three dragged the bodies inside the diner.

"We've only got a small window so let's go," urged Tinker Tom, and the team quickly rushed out into the rain and down the ghoul corpse ridden street. Seemingly the Brotherhood had at least taken care of one problem. By the time they had gotten to the perimeter of the police station, no one had taken notice of them. MacCready went around the brick corner, low with sniper drawn, and scanned what was before them. The police station was encircled by a wall of barricades, a walkway on the upper half while they were still shielded from the wild wasteland. There were riot barriers and other sorts of barricades, various sandbags further in and other sources of cover to protect the on guard Brotherhood. There was as many as ten outside on the ground, while five more could be spotted on the roof patrolling back and forth. Just as Desdemona had claimed, a vertibird was on the top, ready and waiting for someone to steal it.

Creeping back around, MacCready nodded his head. "It's there," he whispered, "So are fifteen of the bucket heads, five on the roof, six in power armor total with three on top. We ready for the split?"

"There's a building on the north side of the station," said Tessa, "that's where the hole is. So long as you four get there we can keep them in a crossfire."

"Understood," said Tango with a smooth smile and wink, making Piper arch a brow at him while Curie giggled. He gave an awkward cough, and gestured away. "Let's move then shall we?" Whisper, Tinker Tom and MacCready all departed with him, careful in the downpour as they worked their way around the buildings towards their needed position. While they provided suppressing fire, the bulk of the attack team would head from the front and directly engage the Brotherhood. Their primary goal was to force their way inside, as they could handle whatever was on the roof thereafter while the sniper team would assist them. Once they'd secured the vertibird, Tinker Tom would move in and depart with Tessa, and with luck it would all go well from there.

Of course, Tessa had long ago learned few things went according to plan.

Checking her weapon once more, Tessa's armored head bobbed as she gave a firm nod. "Come on. Everyone make sure we stay close but not too close, watch out for each other and please no one get killed."

"Hey Tessa," whispered Cait, "ya sure ya can handle yerself without that shit in yer system?"

Instantly Tessa stiffened, glancing to where Piper was giving Curie one last check that she had enough ammo and healing items for the fight, and then glared at Cait. "Yeah." Before they'd departed, Dr. Carrington had approached Tessa about her ongoing chem situation. Much to her displeasure the whole Railroad seemed to be talking about it. He'd offered to help her the best he could as otherwise it might impair her in the field and this was not a mission anyone could risk failing. While he had assisted her with her physical needs, making it so her body did not crave the chemicals on their own, there was nothing he could do for her mind. As a precaution, Curie had confiscated all of her chems with the exception of a few med-x and of course her stimpaks. Watching her take them away had made her want to scream, beg for them back, and it was enough to show her she really did have a problem. Before she'd have easily tossed it aside but now she wanted it bad, felt as if she was doing something wrong with them near.

"Ya sure?"

Shaking herself, bracing for the intense battle that was about to erupt, Tessa nodded swiftly. "I'll be fine."

Before either of them could say anything else, the first shots rang out, signaling them to get moving. Tessa went around the corner first, her heavy steps covered by the return fire of the Brotherhood. They were able to get up to the barrier wall before anyone took notice of them, and lasers streaked across the enclosed walkway within the perimeter wall at them when they did. Curie muttered a few choice words in French before darting across to where she could fight but was still protected, gaps in the barrier on the lower half allowing them to shoot inwards while their enemy could fire out as well. Cait impatiently waited for a chance to move in closer while Piper fired off a trio of precise shots with her pistol. Tessa spotted a soldier in regular armor stagger, clutching his shoulder before she finished him off with a shot to the head with her hunting rifle. Valor gave a soft grunt as a laser lanced his chest, burning the upper layer of his armor but made no other noise as he rised a railway rifle and obliterated the first target that came into view.

The trio of power armor clad soldiers on the roof started firing rapidly down below, trying to use their height advantage against the attackers before a volley of gunfire started beating against their armor again and again. A small part of Tessa reveled in the sight of one turning to fire at their sniper team only for his head to explode in gore as spikes and bullets alike tore through him. That momentary glee faded as someone screamed from the side, and she could hardly keep her mind focused. The thought of a friend getting hurt made her want to protect them, desperate to rush to their aid and with a shot of psychojet she'd have easily sailed across to them. A hand moved towards where she normally kept the syringes, only for the armor to stop her and the reminder that she didn't have them on her anyways. Piper caught the motion, and Tessa could only hope she hadn't understood what it meant. Wanting to beat herself for that slip, Tessa missed the advancing soldier and was rewarded with a trio of shots to the shoulder. Even in power armor it still smarted, and she hissed as she returned fire.

"Ah fuck it!" Shouted Cait as she dashed outwards, ignoring Tessa and Piper's pleas alike to wait a moment longer. The redhead dashed across to the police station, weaving between laser fire like a snake before she sprinted up a pile of sandbags and jumped over the barrier in her way. Roaring fury, her right fist came forward and the deathclaw gauntlet tore the head clean off a soldier. Rolling with an unnerving skill, Cait was on her feet and attacking the next soldier in her way. Great streaks of red burst from their chest as Cait killed them, laughing with a sadistic glee. Before the fist fighter could get herself killed, outnumbered and with little protection thanks to her close fighting style, Tessa rushed forward to assist her, knocking over the soldier that had shot her earlier. He screamed as someone behind her shot him.

Gunfire danced around Tessa as she advanced towards the police station. She felt nigh unstoppable in her power armor, the systems keeping her informed of everything going on from hull integrity to the same things her PipBoy did. One of her favorite features, as always, was V.A.T.S. and as she approached a soldier taking aim at Cait, she slipped into the fancy piece of technology and queued up a few shots. Her rifle sang death as three bullets pierced the side of the woman's skull, blowing her brains out and the splatter covered the nearby wall.

It was a hard to see in the rain, making the firefight more difficult for both sides. Even with their integrated systems like Tessa's, the suited soldiers seemed to be having trouble identifying who was friendly or not and actually finding where to shoot. Unfortunately for them, it couldn't tell them elevation and several shots at the sniper team were entirely off, the soldiers assuming they were on the roof or poking through half boarded windows rather than the lower lying hole in the building. Tessa however, was well used to the tech by then, and as a red bar dashed across her vision she dodged just in time to avoid a savage attack and kicked away a power armor suited soldier.

"Traitor!" They shouted, a gatling laser in their hands. The barrels began to glow red hue as they spun, and with a shout of her own Tessa fired rapidly into their visor while strafing to the side. Then a trio of spikes joined her shots, and Valor whooped in triumph near the barricades. Grunting, they staggered to the side, spikes imbedded in their helmet while the tactical light blared out blinding white in Tessa's vision. Lasers shot out as they tried to kill Tessa, the blonde having to activate the emergency servos to move swift enough in the heavy armor to dodge the sweep of disintegrating death. Then with a loud wrenching sound, the soldier fell forward with Cait standing over them, the corpse bloodied with a deadly tear in their neck.

"Madame!" Screamed Curie just a moment before something exploded, sending Tessa onto her back. When her ears had stopped ringing and the world was no longer spinning, she caught sight of the missile launcher wielding soldier on the roof, and her heart nearly stopped. Knight Rhys, dawned in full combat armor, sneered down at her. He adjusted his aim, and Tessa scrambled to her feet and ran as fast as she could as another missile sailed down, striking the earth just inches from where she was. Propelled forward, the blonde woman crashed into the barricades, bending the metal supports and groaned softly. The sound of her slightly modified Brotherhood of Steel issued power armor administering a stimpak was a relief, the healing chemicals rushed through her veins and restoring her hearing. "Madame are you alright?" Curie asked swiftly besides her.

Gritting her teeth, Tessa pulled herself out of the warped barricade. "I will be," she hissed, "he wants me so stay-" she cut herself short as the whoosh of another rocket filled the air over the roar of rain and gunfire, and instinctively Tessa grabbed Curie, pulled her close and turned her back towards the police station. She'd been nearly blown up several times in her life, narrowly avoiding the blast, but this was a direct hit and hurt unlike any other. Fire engulfed the pair as they were sent directly into the barricade, Tessa's arms wrapped around Curie and she clutched her as tightly as she could. The synth cried out as they smashed the barricade, the second hit making that section collapse on top of them. Her mind was a mess of emotions and sensations, back burning and tingling while she thanked god for sturdy power armor. Already the stimpaks were pumping into her veins, desperately trying to heal the damage while system alarms warned her of severe damage to her torso. Then her thoughts all snapped into one, and she forced herself up best she could to look at the synth.

She'd seen Curie broken before, hurt and injured to a point Tessa feared she might die, various run-ins or the one time a deathclaw had gotten her. Despite having a synthetic body, Curie was fairly organic, only a few important parts of her not such as her brain. However she was more resilient than humans, capable of enduring far greater damage before something gave way, and often recovered quicker than one should. While she went out of her way to keep Curie safe, there were a few occasions where not even Tessa could keep her out of harm's way. Curie gasped in pain, fingers fumbling with her pockets for a stimpak. There was a lot of blood, burns having eaten up most of her clothing despite Tessa's attempt to shield her from the blast. "Doc! Blue!" Piper's voice pierced the night as she ran towards them, slipping on slick ground. "Are you- Oh... Oh no..." Her voice cut short as she took in the damage. One of Curie's legs was certainly not supposed to go that way, probably crushed and twisted by the armor or debris, bone sticking out of her skin.

Tessa couldn't get her mouth to work as she tried to help Curie, but the power armor was like wearing mittens, unable to use her fingers properly. Piper rushed in and administered the healing items their lover desperately needed, Curie groaning in soft pain as they took effect. "So much blood," muttered the blonde at last, shaking inside her power armor.

"Blue!" Shouted Piper, drawing her attention just enough. "I'm going to take her somewhere she'll be safe, back in the diner. She can't fight like this." Tessa stared at her through her visor, still trying to process it. "Listen to me, please, you have to finish this fight!"

"Can you stabilize her?" Asked Tessa softly, her voice echoing in her own ears which were still ringing. The power armor wearing woman offered her some med-x, a compartment of her armor sliding open, and the reporter took it with a grateful nod.

"I'll do what I can. Be careful," replied Piper as she lifted the injured synth in her arms and started carrying her away from the heated battle. The moans of her lover made Tessa's heart ache, only for that ache to erupt into a fire of rage and destruction. Turning around, she realized why they hadn't been blown up an additional time, Knight Rhys laying dead on the rooftop with a bullet between his eyes, one hand draped over the edge of the building while his weapon was discarded to the side. She hoped it was MacCready that'd done it.

Valor had moved further up, fighting viciously with a pair of knights dressed in combat armor, ducking and dodging as spikes and lasers fired off again and again, narrowly missing each other until at last Valor shot one in the throat while a laser blasted into his shoulder. Howling with rage he dropped the railway rifle, unable to support it anymore, and rushed with a knife. Cait was tangling with another soldier in power armor, dodging back and forth around their attacks. The sniper team had finally been discovered, and the laser fire entering the gap in the building was enough to keep them from returning the offensive. Shuddering with rage in her armor, Tessa wished for the bliss of psychojet but discarded the notion. Her body might not have needed it, but that didn't stop her mind from thinking it did. Her friends and allies needed her, but not the raging bloodthirsty her.

At least, not a chem induced raging bloodthirsty her.

With a roar of rage as she pictured Curie's injured body and Piper carrying her through the rain, Tessa surged once more into the fight. There wasn't as many soldiers on the ground anymore, Cait and Valor making eery work of them while Tessa had been preoccupied. With a scream she slammed her elbow into a soldier that'd been trying to shoot Cait, and smashed his face in with her heavy armor. Blasting his chest for assurance, she drew her shotgun and started screaming as she fired at the last power armor knight on the ground. With their back to her, she had a clear shot at their fusion core and began to fire again and again until she'd hit it. The knight exploded in a ball of radioactive fire.

"Inside! Now!" Ordered Tessa, and with a nod Cait and Valor obeyed, running up to the side of the building. There was a pair of soldiers left on the ground level outside, but they were soon dead as someone on the sniper team came to the assault team's aid, Tango running up to join them and covering their rear. On the count of three Tessa kicked in the blue doors and slipped into V.A.T.S. as the interior of the police station exploded into chaos. Inside there was five Brotherhood of Steel enemies, only one in power armor but as her eyes settled upon the familiar paladin her heart grew hard. Though he wore his helmet there was no mistaking the rank emblazoned on him and the scars upon the metal frame she'd nearly memorized. Water was glistening on the metal plates, probably meaning he'd been among the soldiers on the roof, and with a soundless scream Tessa targeted him and a trio of rounds exploded from her gun and peppered everyone in her way with lead.

As time returned to a normal speed, a few soldiers staggering from her attack, Cait ran forward and shrieked as her fist met flesh and wrenched someone's head off with a gruesome snap. Tango pinned someone by their shoulder to the receptionist desk of the police station, various litter and junk strewn about that were scattered as the fight intensified. Valor charged at the nearest Brotherhood like a bear, smashing the small scribe Tessa recognized as scribe Haylen into the singular pillar within the lobby and filled her stomach with spikes. The woman groaned in pain, and Valor ended her suffering with a pair of shots to her head. The wall was stained red, but Tessa hadn't the time to admire it. Instead, she faced off against Paladin Danse and ignored the bullets and lasers pelting against her or the turret that had popped down from the corner of the ceiling by the doors on the far side.

All she wanted was him.

Danse brought his rifle to bare and lanced her chest with a trio of shots in the time it took her to cross the lobby and slam her shoulder into him, sending the suited man backwards and then brought her shotgun into his face and fired again and again. He slid back, rooting his feet and shoved her off into the doorway to the left of the main entrance towards the motor pool. Tessa shouted in fury as she found herself bumping into more soldiers, having to fend their attacks off. The stimpaks were pumping into her body at an alarming rate, more internal warnings coming that she needed to find proper cover. Whirling around, she started firing at those around her, bloody explosions all around her as death retorted in the police station. She could hear something mechanical explode, presumably the turret, and as she ducked to the left of a knight whom she swiftly killed with a burst of shots to the head and chest, Cait came rushing past.

Reloading her shotgun as the fiery haired woman provided a grand opportunity, distracting them as the bloodied devil of a fighter swore and murdered without hesitation, Tessa caught sight of Paladin Danse once more. Unfortunately for her, he'd caught sight of her beforehand, and nothing but red filled her vision and she had but only a moment to close her eyes. Her visor disintegrated, red hot ash exploding onto her skin that further blinded her and the freckled woman screamed in agony, shaking her head as she retreated further into the offices of the station, finding herself in a holding area with cells. The sounds of fighting reached her ears just barely over her panicked heart, and she wiped futilely at her face to clean it only for the gauntlets protecting her hands to have trouble fitting into the cracked visor. Valor's primal shout as he was thrown into a wall reached her ears, erupting through what was shielding Tessa and revealing her to the heated battle. The Railroad agent landed at her feet and groaned in pain. She blinked rapidly, but the burns to her eyelids made it difficult to open and her panicked shakings had loosened some to fall directly in her eyes, making green orbs stream with pained tears.

Entering through the new hole in the wall, Danse stomped onto Valor's chest and sneered at the injured woman. "Do you see what you've done Grey? If it weren't for you none of this would have happened!" He shouted, ignoring the agent beneath him's attempts at getting free and slowly forced more and more of his weight onto Valor. Soon grunts of hate became gasps of pain. "If you'd just been loyal all of these lives would have been spared!"

"You'd have killed the Railroad anyways," uttered Tessa, gasping herself, the modified helmet attempting to repair the damage done to her with healing protocols and internal ventilation to eject the loose radioactive ash. The small shards of her visor that remained flashed warnings and alarms.

"But you'd be at my side, not at the end of my barrel," replied Danse before he aimed at the scarred man beneath him.

Surging forward with all the strength she had, Tessa tackled Paladin Danse and the pair of them went tumbling into a cage, bending the aged steel beneath them. She raised a hand and punched his face, repeating it twice before his own visor shattered. Dark eyes burned into green ones before Tessa went to strike him a third time. Danse caught her fist and returned the favor, the tactical light mounted on her helmet popping and fizzling as it was crushed. "Why dammit!" Shouted Tessa as she blocked his followup strike. "Why couldn't you have just not cared about the synths! You didn't have to like them but to want to destroy them? This could have ended differently! We could have beaten the Institute together!"

"Synths are abominations, atrocities in the name of science and progress just like what brought us the Wasteland and the end of the world!" Shouted Danse as he surged forward, overpowering her and throwing the woman off of him. Luckily Valor had gotten up already, else Tessa would have trampled him. Instead, the scarred man started firing into Danse with his railway rifle, ripping whole scores of armor from the man, sending damaged metal flying to reveal the frame below.

"He's mine!" Shouted Tessa, smacking away Valor's rifle. The man blinked at her in confusion, before giving a grunt and rushed to join the ongoing fight elsewhere. "Get up," she ordered, Danse spitting blood in response. "Get up!"

Slowly the man obeyed, rising to his formidable stature and glaring hate at the woman. "What you still have a scrap of honor left in you? Where was that when you butchered your comrades twice and now a third time!"

"You were my friend," Tessa said hoarsely, still having trouble seeing but it was well enough now, "I owe you that much."

"I don't deserve special treatment," he replied, "I'm just a soldier like the rest of them you slaughtered without a second thought."

"You were my friend!" Shouted Tessa, deactivating her damaged power armor and stepping out of it. Danse eyed her carefully, trying to see what she was planning, and she held her hands out as tears streamed down her face, both of anger and from the ash. "I don't want to kill you dammit!"

"Why not!" He roared back, stepping out of her power armor as well. It was too far gone to do anything but slow him down now.

"Because I'm weak!" She screamed. "I can't protect anyone I care about, I can't even stop myself from doing stupid and reckless things! Curie is out there hurt and I'm in here fighting because I'm too weak to do anything else! If I'd just been strong enough to let go of my son, if I'd have realized that this could only end in blood and fire, none of this would have happened. You'd still be my friend and Curie wouldn't be hurt and Piper wouldn't have been shot and-" She couldn't speak, hyperventilating as everything came crashing down around her. Despite being in the middle of a battle, though she hardly noticed that there was a strong lack of fighting anymore compared to what had been raging on earlier, her mind was swallowed with the thoughts she'd been suppressing. Try as she might, out of the three of them, she'd been unable to prepare for the task of killing Danse. The only one that had been a true friend to her until her journey had taken her down a different road than he'd have liked.

She knew she must kill him, that he was her enemy now and past relationships couldn't cloud her judgement. He was a threat not only to the Railroad, but to one of the two women she loved and Tessa refused to lose someone she loved again. Danse was as damnably stubborn as she, and if he was determined to remain loyal than there was no amount of sweet talking she could ever do that would persuade him otherwise. When she looked down at her hands all she saw was blood, her blood and others, more and more of it until she was certain she was drowning in it. Did the blood of a former friend taint her more, or would it be just as damning as the rest of it? All she wanted was to curl up and hide away from her problems, maybe take a hit of chems and ride it out with her lovers at her sides but that wasn't a possibility. The thought of chems made her crave them all the more, knowing how much easier it would be with the rage inducing drug swaying her behavior. She knew she could run away from the future no more and there it was before her, waiting for her to act.

She knew what she had to do, and as much as she was going to hate herself for it there was no other choice left before her.

Danse eyed her carefully, seeing a fraction of the woman he'd first met before him. "You lost me as a friend the moment your loyalties shifted."

With a broken laugh, she wiped her face, and gave him a cracked grin. "I know. I don't expect forgiveness."

"Then what do you want?"

"You dead. You alive. I'm not sure yet. I just... I wanted to give you one last chance for... something. You could run, leave the Commonwealth, go back to the Capitol Wasteland and never look back."

"My home is with the Brotherhood," he snarled, "You'll have to kill me if you want me to abandon them."

"I know," she replied with a sigh, "but I had to try... I'm sorry."

Time felt slow to Tessa as she slipped into V.A.T.S once more, pulled up her shotgun to set up the shots, and pulled the trigger. Paladin Danse had been just as quick, and red beams of light struck Tessa square in the chest while Danse's head was torn into shreds, ribbons of blood spreading everywhere. Her breath left her and she fell forward as his body did, only for pale hands to catch her. Cait pulled her up into a tight embrace, the woman whimpering brokenly as she buried her face in Cait's shoulder. "It's over," said Cait softly, injecting her with a stimpak.

"I had to do it," uttered Tessa as she closed her burning eyes. "I had to... He wouldn't have stopped. I-"

"Hush now," soothed Cait, not pulling back. "It's all over now, we won."

"We won?"

"Yeah, we won."

"Piper, Curie? Are they-"

"MacCready'll check on 'em," vowed Cait.

"I need to see them, I need to help them." Tessa attempted to stand but Cait's grip on her was firm. She struggled weakly, hardly able to move. "Please."

"Yer not going anywhere like that."

"Like what?" Tessa asked dumbly, pulling back enough to look down. She gaped at what she saw. Danse's lasers hadn't just struck her, but instead burned straight through her armor and into her flesh. Her upper skin was gone, and in its place was flesh and blood, cauterized slightly from the immense heat behind the attack. "Oh... Like that..." She whispered before her head swooned and the woman holding her steadied her. "They don't make armor like they used to," joked Tessa before her vision faded once more and her head fell to the side. The screams of the damned and slain filled her ears, Paladin Danse roaring the loudest and swearing he would take her with him.


	8. Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall

"He was a what?"

"A synth," said Tango, looking at the others in the half destroyed police station. "He wasn't human."

"That doesn't seem possible. I thought you couldn't tell who was a synth or not," said MacCready, scowling in confusion while Piper attempted to wrap his shoulder. The reporter's fingers weren't quite as certain with the task as they were with writing, but she tried her best nonetheless.

"They're great at blending in," remarked Piper, Tango nodding his head.

"Synths are almost entirely human, or at least the third generation of them," further explained the Railroad agent, his companions giving nods of their heads. "If you didn't know Curie used to be a robot, would you be able to guess she was a synth?" Cait and MacCready shared a look. "Exactly. There's no way to tell from just looking at someone if they're human or not. While synths are almost entirely organic, there's a few things that are different, such as a component in the brain. When Whisper examined his body she found it."

"Bullshit," snarled Cait, "there's so much scrap how can ya tell it's yer special synth thing and not something else?"

With a sigh, Tango gestured to Whisper as she held up a small yet advanced looking piece of tech. "Does that look like your average scrap? Trust us, in our field of work we know what's a synth component or not."

"Because yer one of 'em?" Asked Cait with a snort.

Valor, Tango and Whisper each gave her a cheeky smile each, making the rest of the group uncertain just what that meant. "What is Tessa gonna think when she wakes up?" Asked Piper softly.

There was a heavy pause of silence, eyes falling upon where Tessa lay on a cot, Curie on the one next to her. It had been a few hours since the fight, and they couldn't afford to give her much more time to rest, but they all seemed a hesitant to try and force her awake. With Curie hurt as she was, Piper having successfully stabilized her, she was in no position to help Tessa. The synth had long since passed out into unconsciousness, Piper worried about letting her remain like that for long and trying to figure how difficult it would be to bring her down to Diamond City. Trying to remember all she could from what Curie and Tessa had taught her about medicine, Piper was doing her best to patch up the wounded from the ferocious fight for the Police Station.

"It'll crush her," said MacCready, Cait giving a soft nod. "They were friends, and if he was blinded to what he really was well... He was ready to kill every synth in the Commonwealth if the Brotherhood ordered it."

"She deserves to know the truth," said Piper briskly, shaking her head, "I'm not going to lie to her."

"Then wait," said Cait, "give it time. She'll be a mess and we don't need that right now."

"I-"

"Piper... You know it's what's best," said MacCready with a sad note.

The brunet looked between them for several moments before she gave a disgruntled sigh. "Okay... I know it's just... keeping something this big from her doesn't feel right to me."

"If she fights with this on her mind, she'll get herself killed. Ya know that," Cait said.

Relenting, Piper nodded her head. "You win, I'll wait until after to tell her."

"Tell me what?" Came a weak voice, the group tensing as they turned to look at Tessa. The blonde was half up, a hand on her brow as she grimaced in pain. "What's going on?" Green eyes blinked open, cloudy and distant.

Piper's skin grew hot as all eyes fell upon her, and she stammered out the first thing that came to mind. "That Curie is going to need to see a doctor," she rushed, looking at the synth on the other cot. "I didn't want to worry you but... well I guess you were going to find out anyways she is right there after all."

Blurred green eyes blinked at Curie's limp form, concern knitting her brow. "Is she..."

Practically running over, Piper was by Tessa's side and forcing her to stop as the woman tried to reach Curie. The others were quick to slip away. "No, she's going to be fine. There was a lot of pain, she passed out. She will be okay once someone with more training than I has seen her," she assured her, smiling as optimistically as she possibly could. "Curie's tougher than she looks, so long as we don't take too long I'm sure she'll be fine."

"Why haven't you taken her and left then?"

Hazel eyes widened. "I couldn't leave you here, hurt, as well. The only damage that I can see is just to her legs, and I stopped the bleeding. Gave her med-x for the pain and shock. She's stable, she won't just die out of nowhere... I think. She passed out but you've done that a lot too..."

"I'll be fine," coughed Tessa, her chest was burning with every breath. Looking down she noted she had been stripped of her chest armor, and her ruined army blouse replaced with some old pre-war flannel. Not really caring if the others were still watching or not, she silently unbuttoned the shirt and frowned to see she'd earned another scar. While it wasn't as big as the wound originally had been, there was a precise laser burn just beneath the valley between her breasts. She suddenly understood why breathing hurt, each time her ribcage stretched so did her skin and the fresh scar was not pleased with moving around just yet. "You should have taken her once I was stable."

"The others couldn't leave, they had to help with the station and in case there was a retaliation attack none of us could leave. I can't carry her by myself all that way, but if we left you and the Brotherhood attacked..."

Tessa looked at her, wincing softly as she could tell Piper was in an uncomfortable position of choosing to help one or the other. Her gaze lingered on dark circles forming under Piper's eyes, cuts and bruises speckling her beautiful skin. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to get hurt again."

"I know... I just.. I couldn't leave until I was sure you were going to be okay" said Piper softly, pained, "I'm the only reason you're still alive Blue."

"When'd you get so good at medicine?" Snickered Tessa, trying to soften the mood.

"You can thank the both of you," she replied, kissing Tessa for a moment before pulling back. "I wish there was time for you to rest but..."

Sighing, Tessa gave her a nod. "I understand. How is everyone else?"

"Whisper took a decent amount of beating, dislocated a shoulder... Valor and Cait managed to fix that." Tessa grimaced alongside her lover. "MacCready is a little worse for wear but that sniper team was a brilliant idea. Cait's little more than roughed up, refused to let me help her. Tango and Valor both needed a lot of stimpaks and bandages but they're on their feet again. Tinker Tom looks like he just left the hideout if not a bit dirty."

"He did fight though right?"

"MacCready swears he nearly killed as many people as him, and we both know how he loves to exaggerate his skills."

"You?"

"I ducked out of the fighting pretty early to take care of Curie so I'm fine," she replied softly.

Slowly buttoning up her shirt, Tessa looked into Piper's beautiful eyes, and grimaced. "I'm sorry," she apologized, eyes staring into hazel orbs. Piper frowned in confusion. "I couldn't protect her."

"If you hadn't grabbed her she would have died or been in a far worse shape," replied Piper near instantly said, taking a firm hold of Tessa's hands and gave them a squeeze. "Who knows what would have happened. You did everything you could to save her, and she's alive because of you."

Tessa wanted to argue that none of them would have been in that situation if not for her, but she knew how fruitless a conversation that would have been. Mentally reminded that they only had so long before someone in the Brotherhood of Steel would attempt to check in with the outpost, she relented for now. "Okay... Sure."

Frowning, Piper looked down at their hands and gave a sad sigh. "When this is all over... Can we talk?"

Her heart froze in her chest, and she could only give a mute nod. They stayed like that for a few minutes, silence dragging on before Tessa looked into hazel eyes. Returning the kiss Piper had given to her earlier, she felt the reporter press against her with hesitance and caution instead of passion as before. "I'm sorry," raggedly whispered Tessa as she pulled back, lips lingering near each other.

"Me too."

They separated, Piper moving towards Curie to check on her while Tessa got to her feet. It was difficult for her to stand, her head swooning from the sudden change of position and soreness ate away at her muscles. The real pain was from her chest, but the thought of the Brotherhood kicking in the door got her moving. She looked at the synth and reporter for a few terrible moments, wondering just what awaited them, and then departed.

Tessa had been in a small room she realized was the former police chief's office. When she walked out, she took in the office that she'd been thrown into at one point in the fighting. Blood permeated the air, reminding Tessa of a slaughter house. It was just about everywhere, on the walls and the floor, even on the ceiling where bullet holes speckled the pale surface, burn marks from missed laser fire appearing every so often. Mercifully, there were no bodies. Desks had been smashed, Valor and Whisper both cleaning up the debris as she entered the room. The asian woman's right arm was in an improvised sling, forcing her to push and pull the ruined furniture with one arm. They looked up at her, relief upon their faces, and Valor gave her a friendly wave. "Tinker Tom's got something for you," he said, "he's in the motor pool."

She gave him a grateful nod, and with ease started towards the motor pool, though it was more like a garage in size and equipment. Winding through the interrogation rooms and brushing past the holding area she refused to look within, she was soon at the door to the motor pool. As much as she'd have liked talking with Cait and MacCready, there was no time for it. Opening the door and walking through, Tessa blinked as she found Tinker Tom working on a suit of power armor, her suit if she wasn't mistaken, at a station along the near wall. Tools and parts were scattered everywhere, as erratic as his own workplace in the former HQ. The overalls wearing man's headgear was down, several lenses giving him an headache causing level of detail and magnification for one eye and the flashlight illuminated the otherwise dark motor pool.

He didn't hear her at first, muttering on to himself about the Institute and Brotherhood of Steel until she cleared her throat. He practically jumped across the motor pool, the heavy metal door behind him, and shouted in alarm. Upon realizing it was her, the cone of light from his flashlight blinding her, he smiled and lifted his gear. "Oh! Look who's walking!"

"Hey Tom," she replied, approaching the suit of power armor, "Valor said you had something for me, can I assume it's this?"

Nodding his head rapidly, Tinker Tom gestured for her to inspect it. "Poor thing got damaged pretty badly, but I've been able to repair it. Should be operational again!"

"Thanks, I appreciate it. Having this suit means a good chance at saving those kids."

"Not to mention planting the bombs," he added, and then grinned like a mad child at the power armor. "I hope you don't mind, but I gave her a few modifications." Instantly she'd narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Don't you worry!" He said with a laugh, and gestured up at the helmet. "I improved the HUD, should show you life signs now." He pointed at the torso section next. "I love what you did with the healing mechanic, an automatic stim-giver is genius, but for what you've got ahead of you I thought something else might be useful. I was able to keep your healing protocol, though it has been reduced by speed by like, fifteen percent. Now, you've got integrated stealth boys."

Tessa blinked. "I can turn invisible?"

"Slick right?" He smiled widely. "Not only that, but when your power armor is greatly damaged it will negate the safety protocols and you should be able to divert emergency power to the legs, allowing you to move almost as fast as if you weren't in the armor. Maybe you can dodge the next missile you encounter." She gave him a sharp glare and the man stiffened. "Uh- I also fixed your tactical light, I'm afraid the only color I could make it was in standard yellow."

"What, nothing for the arms?" She asked.

The smile upon his face looked manic at that moment, and he pressed a button just above the right wrist and lifted the heavy arm up. A miniature railway rifle popped out, and a trigger of sorts extended beneath the arm. One pull and it shot a spike that tore right through the thick metal door. She blinked, and then gave a long whistle. "Pretty sweet right? Not a very large capacity, ten shots before you gotta reload. The suit also has a severe increase in energy usage though, I minimized it the most I could but... eh somethings aren't perfect. Pork chops and hot dogs after all." She furrowed her brow in confusion but figured it was his usual unique antics. "Just carry a lot of fusion cores."

"How did you do all this so fast?"

"I'm good at what I do, not to mention I just recycled parts from all the suits lying around. I already thought of these ideas, just nice to get to implement them. Tango's been buying us time on the radio. Prydwen's checked in a few times, but he just gives them an all clear and they don't bat an eye. According to some schedules Whisper dug up they aren't supposed to make a physical report for another 48 hours. Someone tried to call in our attack, but that man sure knows how to use words. Convinced them it was a raider attack and that they were repelled."

Tessa stared at the power armor, simply taking it in for a few long moments before she stepped forward and put her hand on the cold metal. "Curie needs a doctor," she said, looking at him.

"Seeing as you're up now, your lady friend will probably be leaving soon."

"Except she can't make it on her own."

"The trio can hold the fort while we're gone, make sure no one comes looking while we're up there and gives a warning."

Nodding in agreement, Tessa walked around the suit and twisted the valve, the frame opening up ready to fight another battle. "Then let's do this," she said as she stepped into it, the frame automatically closing behind her. For a few solid moments she was swallowed up in darkness, and then the HUD flickered to life and Tinker Tom began to glow a red color as she looked at him. Already it was reading her vitals and deciding they were too low and she felt a stimpak be injected into her, the wave of slightly painful rapid healing flowing over her. "Let's destroy the Prydwen."

* * *

 

The vertibird soared through the sky with a whine, the ground below not moving very fast and yet Tessa was quite certain they were going faster than any car ever made. Tinker Tom's ability to control the aircraft was questionable, but as they flew over the old church and approached the water the Prydwen was above, there was certainly enough confidence in the inventor to keep them from plummeting to a fiery and painful death. Sitting in the familiar spot of gunner, Tessa kept her eyes trained for any other vertibird approaching them, however they were in luck, not even the actual birds seemed interested in them. Feeling quite alone up in the sky, her mind gravitated to what she'd done just a few hours earlier, and she gave a heavy sigh as her gaze flickered to the stars as they slowly began to fade, dawn fast approaching.

She could see Danse's face in the stars, angry and bloodied. His head exploding into a mess of gore was forever burned into her brain, the sick wet sound that accompanied laser fire and shotgun blasts echoing in her ears. Tessa lowered her face, tapping at the helmet before a surge of heat and panic rose up inside her. There was going to be more people she'd met inside, more people she could give a name to the face or at the very least recall eating a meal with in the mess. She wanted to vomit at the notion of killing them, even if she wasn't putting a bullet in them she was going to end a lot of lives.

A strong wish for something to make the thoughts stop, for the faces of those she knew to stop flashing in her mind, surged up to consume her. Tessa gritted her teeth together, trying her best to combat the familiar desire. When she was under the influence of psychojet she didn't need to worry about if it was okay to kill someone, if they were once her friend or brother in arm. High on those chems all that mattered was if they were shooting at her or her friends, and if they were then they were as good as dead. All she wanted then was that certainty, that impossible level of clarity and blinding rage. There would be no doubts running rampant in her mind or guilt eating away at her heart, simply the heat of a battle and the rush of chems. Knowing that she had to do something, that there was no other choice, didn't make it feel any better. There was no ease in her heart at the thought of what she had to do because there wasn't any other options before her. She wanted, needed, something to promise her that it was okay and all she could think of doing that was psychojet.

Tessa snapped back to reality as Tinker Tom jerked the vertibird for a moment, forcing her to grab onto the mounted machine gun for support. He gave a few quick apologizes and she shook her head. Shame was washing up over her as she realized she'd been wanting the chems again, wondering just how long it had been since she'd taken them. _A day? No, at the very least two. Three?_ She turned her visored gaze to the rising sun as they moved further east. She could see the harbor, shimmering in the first light of dawn, a beautiful sight from the vertibird. It helped her calm down, simply focusing on the water as it ebbed back and forth. She took in deep breaths, refusing to think about chems or what was to come and instead just the image before her.

She felt a strange peace when the radio crackled as they drew closer, and a man Tessa didn't recognize began to speak. "Approaching aircraft, identify yourself," he ordered in a short tone.

Tinker Tom fiddled with the radio as he held onto the yoke. "This is Claymore," he said into the mic, "requesting permission to dock."

A few solid moments passed before the man replied, "Prepare your docking port, permission granted."

Once more the Railroad agent fiddled with a variety of buttons, and Tessa cleared her throat as he failed to activate the port. "Button on the right, silver, DP inscribed," Tessa informed him. A mechanical noise came to life above her head. "I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing."

"Read the manual, twice."

"How in the hell have we not crashed?" Wondered Tessa aloud, watching as the large advanced blimp grew even larger, the Boston airport down below. She hadn't thought of it before, but Tessa then realized that when the airship went down, it would crash into the waters and ground below, including the airport. Grimacing inside her helmet, she simply waited as they at last arrived. The vertibird spun around as a portion of the flight deck extended down to it, interlocking with the docking port and giving the ship several rattles of its metal hull before raising the aircraft up to the deck, several offshoots to where vertibirds would take off.

As she jumped down onto the metal catwalk, a brief moment of fear passing through her as she wondered if she'd just drop through the walkway, a soldier approached her. She straightened up instantly, and while Tinker Tom had dressed himself in a Brotherhood of Steel jumpsuit, he didn't exactly look like the kind of person that would be in the Brotherhood. The soldier was glowing red in her vision as he stopped in front of her, and Tessa could only hope he couldn't see Tinker Tom. "Ad Victorium brother," she said swiftly, the words tasting bitter in her mouth.

"Ad Victorium sister," he replied, looking over her armor. "Identify yourself."

"Knight Miranda Lawson, sir." She gave a nod for emphasis.

His dark eyes narrowed slightly, and he glanced down at a clipboard he had with him. "Lawson? Says here you're supposed to be down at the airport pulling security."

"Knight-Sergeant Gavil sent me," she explained, "he wants me to personally escort the next shipment of supplies down to the airport seeing as we've had some trouble in the past with parts going missing."

"I thought that was taken care of." He frowned heavily.

"Affirmative, but you know how Knight-Sergeant Gavil is."

With a wince almost, the soldier gave a nod and scribbled something down on the clipboard. "Alright, you're clear. Make sure you're quick, the hunt for that traitor is going to require every last one of us to find her. Can't wait for the firing squad." Tessa wordlessly walked past him, shuddering inside her suit at the thought of how many people here were just as hungry for her blood. The catwalk connected to the center of the flight deck, the long metal path extending to her right and left. One way led to the command deck, which would take her up into the rest of the blimp, while the other to the rear of the Prydwen.

Turning on her heels, she quickly went up the small set of steps to the entrance. A pair of knights carrying gatling guns flanked the heavy door, and she fretted for a moment they might ask her what she was doing there as well, but the duo didn't even look at her. The first thing she saw once she was inside was Elder Maxon. His back was turned to her, his fancy flight jacket draped around his body while he peered over the Commonwealth through a dome shaped window. Her hand twitched, she wanted to shoot him right then, wanted to spray his brains all across the thick glass like Danse's had ended up on the wall. It would have been easy too, he wasn't even looking. She stepped towards him, ignoring the pair of laser turrets that were in the corners of the small room she was in, the ladder leading up into the Prydwen to her side while Elder Maxon stood on the command deck.

The only thing that stopped her was the reminder that she needed to plant the explosives first, and try to rescue as many squires as she possibly could. Gritting her teeth, she turned and started up the ladder, vowing to return and face him personally. Because of that man and his policies every synth was marked an abomination. If it weren't for him Danse might have lived, or Tessa might have never even joined the Railroad and the endless possibilities of what a different life that would have been surged forward like an angry tidal wave. It took everything she had to keep climbing the ladder up and enter the Prydwen itself.

Steeling herself for what she was about to do, Tessa closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. When she opened them, she felt as ready as she'd ever be and started walking through a place she'd be shot on sight for being in. She kept thinking of Piper and Curie, of those she so desperately wanted to protect, and ignored the screaming voice inside her head that she was about to commit an atrocity. It was too late for second guesses.


	9. Hindenburg

The Prydwen was as massive as she last remembered it. The steel skeleton that ran all throughout its round form disappeared into darkness where only faint red emergency lights gave any glimpse at the hull. There was a corridor directly before her, flanking it were two paths that led further up or down into the airship. She could faintly see the stairs that would lead up to the supports for the gas bag valves. The thought of planting the explosives sent chills down her spine, but she was long since past the point of no return. She was bumped by a few soldiers that were rushing through the Prydwen, getting quickly uttered apologies before they vanished down one or another catwalk or room. She was quite relieved everyone seemed to be in such a rush that they didn't truly pay her any attention, and instead went on their way.

She moved a bit to the side, scanning the areas around her that she could already see as she tried to figure just where she might find a squire. She knew that dead ahead was the records and medical rooms, not terribly large but they did their jobs. A bit further down the center corridor was the mess hall, which in turn became the power armor workshop. She doubted she'd find the squires in three of those rooms, but the mess hall would more than likely be filled with a vast amount of Brotherhood soldiers and she didn't want to push her luck. The possibility of running across someone who actually knew Knight Lawson well enough to recognize her voice crossed her mind, and Tessa'd rather not have to explain why she sounded different.

So instead, disguised in the power armor, she started towards the lower levels. If she were a child, she'd try to find some time to herself away from the strict military setting, and that meant the small recreation hall they had down below the central level. Tessa's armored boots were loud on the metal walkways and steps, but she wasn't alone. As she reached the lower level, the red emergency lighting replacing the harsh white glow of the upper levels, she was met with a squire and a young soldier that was probably little more than in initiate, he hardly even looked old enough to shave. The pair of them were chatting as she set foot on the lower level, a decent bit away and shrouded in the darkness of the Prydwen's underbelly.

"This is stupid," grumbled the squire.

"You're stupid," spat the initiate, shoving the younger kid's shoulder. "Just tell her already."

"But she's... She's so pretty!"

The initiate gave a toothy grin, only to notice Tessa approaching. They jumped up at her presence, dropping the cards they'd been holding and raising their right fist to their chest. "Ad Victorium!" They called, Tessa noticing the initiate attempting to hide a bottle with his foot behind one of the many barrels lining the railings.

"At ease," she replied, making sure to actually turn her head so they could see her looking around as she crossed over to them. "What's going on here?"

"Uh, just uh-" The initiate stammered, his eyes darting back and forth.

"He was just showing me a custom from the ground," offered the squire, a bit more confident than the older boy. He couldn't have been older than twelve. He had dirty blonde hair that poked out from beneath his red cap, and dark brown eyes that reminded Tessa of her late husband. She couldn't help but wonder if that was what Shaun looked like at that age. "He said that people might trust you after a game of cards and we need people to trust that we're here to help right?"

"Yeah!" Said the initiate with a crooked tooth smile, bruises around his blue eyes.

"Who said that's what we're here for?" Asked Tessa slowly.

"Uh... The superiors..." The initiate said uncertainly, "If we take out the Institute then we're helping them aren't we?"

"And all the people that support them, or their creations the synths?"

"Then they're the enemy," said the young man more confidently, the squire nodding his head along like they'd rehearsed the answers a thousand times. "Synths are abominations, fake humans... That's not right ma'am. Taking people and replacing them with copies, that's sick."

"What about the synths that don't replace people, that are free from the Institute?" Pressed Tessa, hoping he could be convinced, that he wasn't as brainwashed as everyone else.

He swallowed dryly, and shook his head. "Synths are synths ma'am, they're all bad." There was conviction and certainty in his voice unlike before, and Tessa could tell he believed those words at least enough to be at peace with what they meant. That if anyone raised a hand in the defense of a synth, a free synth even, they were as good as dead just like anything else the Brotherhood deemed an undesirable.

Her mind was screaming at her that there was no hope, that he'd just turn on her the moment he realized who she was, that she should have shot them both so they didn't have to endure the Prydwen crashing. With every bit of mental strength she had she shoved that voice deep into a dark hole and held onto that shred of hope that he was just repeating what he'd learned he was supposed to say. "I have a mission for you initiate," she ordered briskly, "you too squire." The child's eyes grew wide with excitement. "Gather every other squire you see and bring them to the flight deck. We're going on a training mission."

"What? All the squires?" Balked the initiate, "There's fifty of them!"

Tessa's mind grew blank as she realized that was far too many to transport in one, or even two vertibirds. She tried to figure how many it would take, but the squire spoke up first. "But there's not fifty here Rob," he said, "there's just ten. Most of the others are down on the ground. A lot of knights were eager to show them how to hunt down traitors."

"You mean Knight Grey?" Asked Initiate Rob, "They're actually taking you squires down there? She's supposed to be super dangerous!"

"We're not supposed to say her name!" Hissed the squire, "And she's not a knight anymore... right?" He looked up at Tessa.

With a firm shake of her head, Tessa's voice rumbled through the speaker in her helmet. "No... She's not, and she'll pay for her sins."

"Right!" Grinned Rob, "Nobody betrays the Brotherhood of Steel!"

She gave a nod, before looking down at the squire. "What's your name kid?"

"Squire Sam ma'am!" He seemed most pleased with the way that sounded. "I can get the rest of the squires and have them meet you here first, if that's what you'd like."

"No, go straight to the flight deck, everyone needs to be prepared to go. Make sure they have supplies, no more than ten minutes is that understood? Don't block any paths and make sure you don't get in the way of the knights and paladins. Don't even tell them about the mission, they won't want to be bothered by a bunch of squires when there's a hunt for a traitor going on. If they do ask, it's Knight Lawson, down from Lancer-Captain Kells, that gave the word."

He snapped a salute, and Rob followed the young boy back to the upper levels. "Slow down!" She could hear Rob shouting after Sam.

She just hoped she could do it all in ten minutes. Her eyes roamed the familiar sub-deck, the inner workings of the ship on either side of her while the walkway was attached to the skeletal frame that ran the length of the airship. There was lots of nooks and crannies she could recall finding a minute to hide in herself, trying to process the world she'd entered. It'd been just after she'd faced Kellogg that the Prydwen arrived in the Commonwealth, it's massive form splitting the rainy sky and dashing lights everywhere as it soared across the horizon to the Boston Airport. How badly did she wish in that moment she could go back to that, to not knowing what was to come and just wondering.

The sound of someone else moving above her drew her out of her thoughts, and Tessa shook her head. "Focus," she muttered to herself and started walking forward again. There was a pair of ramps flanking the main walkway that went further down into the mechanical inner workings of the airship. She started going up instead, hoping that the squire and initiate could get the rest of them as she'd asked. They would have to take a second vertibird but so long as she hadn't blown her cover she probably could steal one, maybe the initiate knew how to fly but she highly doubted it. She'd been trained the basics but she'd never actually done it herself and wasn't the most keen on finding out if she had a natural ability like Tinker Tom. There was also the option of forcing a pilot to fly instead, as most did stick around their aircraft if they were just refueling. If not, she was going to have to gently coast it down to a safe distance.

She laughed at the thought and continued on. The stairs brought her to a platform at the very back of the Prydwen, that then rejoined the rest of the ship's interior. She could see the quartermaster's station and the power armor repair shop, the science platform on top of that. Another set of catwalks led up to the highest level, the central walkway cutting through the specially crafted gas bags. They were massive, rounded on all but the interior cut away, and were connected to the hull of the Prydwen itself. She could already picture the kind of explosion it would make when the bombs went off.

There was a buzz of activity inside the Prydwen, voices shouting in the workshop area while she spotted the scientists scurrying about from one cot to another. She could make out the bodies laying on them, super mutants and old gen two and one synths. There was a ghoul on another, near a set of planters with vegetables growing. She could remember taking a tour with Paladin Danse, asking questions and smiling as the science team gave her whole hearted answers. She regretted asking them now, wishing she couldn't put a name to the faces that dashed about doing their work. She could even recognize some of the voices; Proctor Ingram was scolding some initiate for knocking over some of her tools. That woman had taught Tessa a lot of things about power armor, and Tessa's chest tightened as she realized she'd be killing a mentor of sorts in only a few minutes.

Then she heard another voice, coming from the science platform and instantly began to swear inside her helmet. "Who gave you that order?" Came Lancer-Captain Kells's brisk voice. She scanned the area and was quick to spot the fancifully dressed man, the initiate and squire standing at attention in front of him.

"Knight Lawson," responded Initiate Rob.

"From who?"

"Well... From you, sir."

"I most certainly did not authorize this," snapped the dark skinned man, "This knight has lied to you, squires are to remain with their assigned mentors, on the Prydwen or in the perimeter of the airport. I did not authorize a mass mission with a sole knight. Where is this Knight Lawson?"

"She uh, she said to meet her on the flight deck in ten minutes sir," squeaked Rob, "She's in power armor."

"Power armor?" Kells uttered. Tessa swore profusely as his eyes flickered up to where she was lingering on the catwalk. "You there, soldier!" He called, pointing at her. The entire science team and the pair of young boys looked up at her.

Tessa's heart froze in her chest, the thought that she'd been found out screaming through her mind. There was no way she could cover up and lie to him about a mission that only he could have given the word on, and the young ones would surely recognize her if she spoke. A thousand different ways it could end badly ran through her head in the span of a millisecond. She had hardly even blinked when she felt time almost twist on itself. Suddenly she was holding her rifle, and Lancer-Captain Kells was falling backwards with a hole in his head, blood and gore exploding outwards across the platform. She couldn't even remember taking the shot. There was a single moment of horror amongst the science team, Tessa able to see Initiate Rob's face while Squire Sam began to scream and ran away.

Then they started to return fire.

Swearing left and right as she began to rush up the remaining catwalks, Tessa could hear the Prydwen go into a frenzy like bees defending their hive. She had to question the logic of firing weapons inside the airship, but it's metallic hull could probably withstand a few bullets unlike those within it. Someone shouted that she, the traitorous knight, was inside as Tessa reached the first gas bag valve. She continued her frantic swearing as she began to attach the first bomb to it, her fingers slow in the power armor. She could hear someone approaching behind her, coming from the way she had, and as she activated the explosive she felt bullets eat away at her armor. Turning to the side, she raised her rifle and was horrified to see it was none other than Initiate Rob.

"You don't understand!" She shouted, the young boy shooting at her with a pistol. "Its you or us! I don't want to kill you!"

"Too late!" He screamed, getting a good shot into her shoulder. Tessa wanted to scream again as she realized there was no other choice, and fired. At least she gave him a quick death compared to the fiery inferno that awaited so many, the initiate's body crumpling as his head turned to gore. The initiate hadn't been alone either, as she caught sight of a trio of power armor clad soldiers making quick progress up towards her.

Hoping to god that Tinker Tom had actually gotten the new gadgets in her power armor to work, she activated the stealthboy and kept low to the ground. The first one stopped at his body, examining it before turning to peer down the catwalk. They were looking just past her and yet couldn't see her. "Where is she? The HUD says she should be right here," he questioned, looking around wildly. The other two instead were taking note of the explosive strapped onto the red valve panel. "Bomb!" Shouted one, and that singular word seemed to kick the hive into an even further heightened frenzy. Before any of them could make another move Tessa acted. With V.A.T.S. guided shots she used her integrated railway rifle, and the first soldier dropped dead as the spikes went straight through his power armor and brought a portion of his brains with it.

The other pair whirled around frantically, still unable to spot her and started to kick out with their armored legs in her general direction. One of them managed to make contact, and Tessa was immediately sent into the railing of the catwalk, warping it slightly. Her presence revealed, they proceeded to punch and kick out at her, smashing her body with their reinforced frames. It didn't take much for her to guess why they weren't shooting, who knew how fragile the gas bags were and she wasn't keen to find out.

Retaliating, she grabbed one of their hands and pulled the soldier towards her. Her fist made contact with their helmet and a resounding pop came as she smashed their tactical light and dented some of the helmet. They staggered back into the open area between the two gas bags, and Tessa took the opportunity to fire a barrage of spikes. Each one burrowed into the soldier's torso, explosions of red coming from every hole as the high powered spikes tore into them. The soldier staggered for a few long moments before tipping over the railing, falling down to the science platform below.

The remaining soldier gave a bellow that would rival even a deathclaw, and surged at Tessa who'd not realized her stealthboy had deactivated. She felt a sharp pain as something smashed into her side, and she stumbled forward into the open metal walkway. They came after her with a savage fury, bringing out their gun now as they moved a bit away from the potentially explosive gas bags and into the open. Tessa attempted to fire another spike, only to realize with terror that it was in need of a reload. So instead she drew her rifle once more, and attempted to get in a shot before her enemy could. A terrifying amount of lasers lanced her chest, an alarm ringing in her suit as it indicated severe damage to her torso. She shouted as she stumbled back and her bullet missed by a mile. With a cry of her own, Tessa sprinted at her enemy, catching them as they changed fusion cells.

Ramming into them at full speed, she forced them against the railing, slamming the butt of her rifle down into their helmet again and again with viscous cries. They pushed and punched desperately but couldn't get her off as the railing bent beneath them, putting them almost horizontal with the area below. Tessa spotted frantically running soldiers, bodies being dragged away and research being saved. She slammed again. Something popped and crackled, and she caught a glimpse of terrified hazel eyes through a shattered visor before she smashed her gun down one last time. Drawing her pistol from her hip, she fired again and again through the visor, blood erupting each time.

Pushing off, she turned to see those who were coming now, and with a frustrated noise she reloaded the integrated railway rifle while she had a chance. The first soldier up the ramp got a spike directly through the visor, they dropped and the next one tripped over their body. Following them was an unsuited soldier, and she was quick to fire with her hunting rifle. The first bullet went wide while the next two shot straight through his shoulder.

She felt another laser strike her, and with a shout of alarm she realized they were coming from behind her now as well. She only saw one other choice, and threw a grenade down to where they were coming up from the catwalks. Screams echoed as bodies flew, a certain fleshy noise following suit a moment later. She turned around and fired at those who were coming from her rear, unsuited soldiers numbering five in total. Switching to her shotgun, she rushed them. Alarms screamed in fury as the HUD warned her she was taking a lot of damage, but she paid it little mind when there was nothing she could do about it aside from take out her enemies.

Firing rapidly, she watched in a blur of heat and blood as one after another fell. She stomped and kicked and fired, caught up in a frenzy similar to a certain sensation she was familiar with. Her body pulsed as one after another the suit administered stimpaks, closing up any wounds she gained in the fight. There was a cry beneath her boot as she smashed a skull in, and she whirled around expecting to see someone else to fight but the catwalk was vacant aside from herself and the bodies. She blinked, reeling, and was quick to activate the stealthboy again. Her fusion core alarm went off instantly, telling her she was already half empty. Tessa was quick to rush to the second gas valve and set up the next bomb.

She crept forward to the third and final valve that she'd need to rig, mindful of her surroundings. There were a few more but she was out of bombs after this one and the catwalk continued on to the small jut of metal that extended from the bow of the airship. Her compass was nothing but a mess of red dots as she approached the valve, moving slow so her field of invisibility would actually help her. As soon as she began to wonder why they'd let up the attack, did she peer down and realize that every space that was facing or connected to the catwalk was covered in soldiers. The various entrances onto it were also rigged with mines, the kind that would short out her power armor rather than instantly kill her. It almost seemed they were more keen on capture rather than instant death for her. Truly grateful that Tinker Tom had modified her suit, after all you couldn't shoot what you couldn't see, she crept along until she was at the final valve. She placed the explosive carefully, and let out a sigh as she realized all she had to do now was leave. Any hope of saving the squires had long since been destroyed.

There was a crackle, and suddenly she could heard Elder Maxson speaking over the intercom. "Tessa Grey, I know it's you," he said slowly, hate on each word, "I'll admit I'm surprised." She ignored him as she scooted along, a practically clear shot before her to some catwalks that would take her to the front of the ship. "Attacking us here, of all places? There's only one way off this ship, and it's down, we both know that. So why?" She scanned the area in front of her, and sure enough a line of soldiers waited on either side. Hissing to herself as she watched her fusion core dip further and further to empty, she readied for a fight.

She might have been able to jump from here, use the emergency servos to run to the entrance ladder. One quick check and she was certain she'd been damaged enough to use it, though it meant draining what little energy her core had. While she had spares, and her suit was capable of replacing them automatically so long as they were in the appropriate slot, there was still a few terrible moments between cores replacing themselves that could get her killed. She gritted her teeth as she realized she didn't have much of a choice. "Stand down Grey," ordered Maxson with full authority, "you cannot win this fight. You're outnumbered and outgunned."

A passing thought of if she should just trigger the bombs right then and there slipped through her mind. They were rigged to blow up if any of them did, and one bullet would do the job. Though it would certainly mean she and Tom would die. Then Piper and Curie both flashed through her mind and she scolded herself for even considering it. She crept back some, mindful of just where she could be viewed from, and manually swapped out the half empty core with a fresher one. Every second it took she felt like she was going to die, sweat dripping down her brow from the exertion and terror she'd already endured. As the fresh core clicked into place, she slipped away the other one and reactivated the stealthboy.

"Ten seconds Grey," said Maxson, "or we're going to put you down where you stand."

Tessa squinted, taking in ten soldiers in power armor total before her along with six non-suited ones. The faint red glow to their bodies was a nice touch, but she could see them bright as day anyways. She knew Maxson well enough to know if she did stand down, she'd just end up in front of a firing squad like this one but with no hope to escape. So, bracing herself the best she could, she activated the emergency servos and started running. Invisible she might have been, silent she was not, each step sounding like thunder upon the metal catwalk signaling to the Brotherhood soldiers that she was fast approaching. With a great heave she jumped from the edge of the walkway, sailing clear overhead the knights that expected her to come directly at them, and landed with a resounding noise in the open barracks.

Lasers started firing wildly in her direction as she sprinted towards the entrance of the Prydwen, lungs burning as she bumped past a soldier and jumped down from the upper level. Without missing a beat, she went towards the trio of power armor clad soldiers blocking the ladder down. She readied her shotgun, slipped into V.A.T.S. as the power meter in her HUD steadily trickled down, and began blasting the helmets and torsos of those who stood in her way. She shoulder checked one, and they stumbled back just as the stealthboy deactivated. She winced as she felt lasers and bullets both chew into her in a moment, and the soft whine of the integrated medical system reached her ears along with Elder Maxson shouting off more orders. Desperate, she jumped to the hatch and tore it open.

Bullets and lasers both chased after her as she dropped down to the command deck. The beeping of turrets as they activate screamed from behind her, and she turned around and used the installed railway rifle to destroy the pair just as the first barrage of lasers hit. Something beeped, and with one quick glance she realized that her legs had been damaged to such a point they might as well have been scrap. Before she could say or do a thing she felt something twist in her armor, and Tessa gave a cry as everything began to shut down. The suit opened up and a hand grabbed her by the collar and jerked her out. Tessa landed flat on her back, stunned for a moment as Elder Maxson came into her field of view. He held her fusion core in hand, a scowl deep set upon his scarred face.

"Former Knight Tessa Grey," he sneered as he tossed aside the fusion core, a pistol trained on her the entire time, "it's over. You're hereby under arrest for treason against the Brotherhood of Steel. I know you're a crafty woman so let's keep this quick." He pressed the barrel of the gun to her brow. "Any last words?"

"Shoot me and you all burn."

Maxson's sneer faltered. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," she replied evenly, not allowing her terror to fill her voice. "Ever heard of a deadman's switch?"

"You're lying."

"Am I?"

He grabbed her by the collar once again and forced her up. More Brotherhood soldiers started to pour into the command deck, power armor and unsuited alike. Pressing her to the metallic wall, Maxson kept his pistol pointed at her skull. "Search her," he ordered, and a pair of soldiers came rushing over, patting her down and pulling at her clothing to find the explosives. They came back with nothing and shrugged at their elder. She gave a harsh laugh and shook her head.

"A desperate attempt, but false nonetheless," sneered Elder Maxson.

"As if I'd just duct tape it to me," she spat, "surgery Maxson, it's a wonderful thing. This heart of mine stops ticking you all go boom. Still got time to deactivate the bombs themselves I'm sure but... they're a bit finicky."

"You'll die as well."

"At least I'll take all you synth-hating bastards with me."

"That's what this is about; synths? Those abominations!" He bashed the pistol against her skull, staggering her as stars swirled in her vision. "You betrayed your brothers and sisters, killed your comrades, for false imitators of human life? For the tools of the Institute?"

She winced as she tasted blood in her mouth, hardly able to stand for a few moments, and then she cracked a crooked grin. "Of course it is. Now tick tock, running out of time. They'll all go eventually, and you'll need all the time you can get to disable the Railroad's fancy toys," she warned.

"How do we disarm them," he demanded and she simply smiled at him. He brought his pistol against her head once more, Tessa crying out this time as her body recoiled against the walls of the Prydwen. She spat blood at his feet and had to hold onto the wall to keep from falling.

"Try that again I fucking dare you," hissed Tessa, glaring at him with burning green eyes. Maxson was swift to obey, and with a smug grin Tessa responded. Hands took hold of Maxson's wrist as the pistol came at her, and she pulled him towards her while twisting them about. In the blink of an eye she'd turned the tables, and every soldier was ready to shoot as she pressed the barrel against his skull, Maxson secured against her. He didn't dare resist, a surprising strength in the woman as she glared at everyone else on the command deck. "No one move or he ends up like Kells," she warned.

"Forget about me," he hissed slowly, "do not let this traitor walk free." Glances dashed between the soldiers, uncertainty on just what to do filling them each. "Shoot dammit!" Shouted Maxson, "one of you surely can do it!"

Tessa caught an unsuited soldier that looked like they might dare try, and using V.A.T.S. she pulled the pistol away from Maxson for a mere second and shot the man. By the time the rest realized what'd happened Maxson was once more at the end of the barrel, the soldier slumping against the wall with a hole in their forehead. "None of you can," she hissed. "Now I'm going to walk out of here or you'll be looking for a new elder in addition to lancer-captain. Everyone move to the right," she ordered. They stood still, watching her with hate and she caught another one that might try and be a hero. She shot them as well, this time hitting their chest armor, and pressed the pistol closer to Maxson's brow. "Move!"

Slowly did they obey, shifting to one side of the command deck and giving her a path to go along. As much as she'd have loved to take her armor, there wouldn't have been time to pop in a new fusion core and get inside before she would be dead. So instead, she crept along the wall and kept an eye on those in the room. The soldiers watched her just as closely. She reached the door to the flight deck and shoved Maxson towards it, making sure to keep him between herself and the pack of angry soldiers. "Open it," she ordered. He didn't move. "Open it or you're dead."

"I don't matter so long as the Brotherhood lives," he said.

"They won't if you let those bombs go off, and remember I'm a trigger too."

"Or you're simply lying," he finally called her on the bluff.

"I'm not-" Her attention had diverted to Maxson, making her almost miss the knights that readied themselves and with a violent swear Tessa shoved Maxson towards the soldiers, fired rapidly, and forced her way through the door. She could feel the lasers that were shot after her, and to her utter relief the flight deck was virtually clear of any enemies. Seemingly they'd all headed into the Prydwen to deal with her. She could still see Tinker Tom in the vertibird, and with every bit of strength and energy she had did she sprint towards it.

"There you are!" He shouted, already starting the de-docking sequence. Lasers danced around her as she dashed this way and that, one of them grazing her arm while she heard something heavy chasing after her. She could only assume it was a power armor suited soldier, and the whir of a gatling gun revving up made the woman's heart skip. "Come on!" Tom shouted, the vertibird coming free of the Prydwen and hovered with clear uncertainty as if it might plummet out of nowhere into the ground below.

"Oh fuck me," uttered Tessa as she sped down the catwalk, injecting herself with a stimpak as she ran and the pressure in her skull lessened just as she reached the proper walkway to the vertibird. With a shout she ran down the end and leapt, just barely grappling the handles on the step up as she struggled to lift herself into the aircraft. Tinker Tom veered away from the Prydwen, dipping down low to keep them from being shot at by those on the aircraft and Tessa felt her hands slipping as he banked onto the side she was hanging from. Her legs dangled in the air, kicking out and attempting to find purchase on anything while she struggled. "Tom!" She cried out, "Help me please!"

A rope suddenly fell before her face, and without any hesitation Tessa grabbed onto it, wrapping the end of it with her feet in a manner to keep from sliding down as she heaved herself up into the vertibird. A pair of hands grabbed at the cloth of her shirt, struggling to help her but eventually Tessa had been dragged into the aircraft. She blinked in confusion as she noticed her assistance came from a child. "Sam?" She uttered, holding onto the rope still as Tom banked to the right, swerving around a hail of laser fire as they zoomed away from the Prydwen. Maxson was screaming over the radio for everyone to shoot the vertibird down. "What are doing here?"

"I- I didn't want to die..." he admitted, terror and shame clear upon his face as he looked at her. "I just- I-" He stammered out before turning away from her.

"Bullseye!" Shouted Tinker Tom, the virtibird giving a few warning noises as they were hit with lasers from the airport down below. "Look we gotta take that thing out now and we're out of the blast radius so... hold on or something!"

"Right, right!" She said swiftly, gripping the mounted turret, and took one last glance at the Prydwen.

There was a trio of deep booms that came first, Tessa watching as an orange light erupted outwards from where she knew she'd planted the bombs. Then the hydrogen itself ignited, and the Prydwen became a massive blinding fireball. Its hull rippled as the explosions rushed through it, like water almost, and portions of it began to melt almost as the airship crashed. A wave of superheated air came shooting outwards with the inferno as the airship yawned and groaned, whole portions of it blasting off as one after another explosions shook the world. Great plumes of smoke, dark and terrifying, reached upwards to the sky as if to hide the tragedy and yet tell all what hd come to pass. She could see people jumping from the inferno, throwing themselves to the water and ground below with burned bodies and twisted frames of power armor. Fire licked across the frame, the catwalks dropping from either heat or force, and twisted as they bashed into the destroyed airplanes and ruins of the airport.

The airport was soon swallowed by the crashing giant, the booms deafening over any other sound. The control tower collapsed as the bow of the Prydwen came right into it, vertibirds attempting to reach safety only for flaming debris or explosions themselves to swallow the aircraft taking off from the airport. Things down below began exploding, Tessa suspecting the fuel lines and tanks for the vertibirds and perhaps even stores of hydrogen. Another deafening boom exploded, a fresh column of smoke reaching to the sky that was continually growing darker. Though it was early morning, it already looked like it was night again. She could feel every scorching wave that rippled off of it as it settled into the ground below. Water burned all around the peninsula, oil and other volatile substances spilling out into the bay. The exploding airship gave one last furious cry, and then there was only the sound of the vertibird and the raging fires below.

Tessa watched in silence as they slowly left, Tinker Tom flying back somewhere that she didn't really care about. All she could think of were the nine other squires she'd just burned alive, and every person she'd known the name or face of upon that ship or in the airport. "You killed them," whispered Sam.

She blinked at him, realizing she'd just destroyed his world like generals and rulers had destroyed hers. "I'm sorry..." She said softly, knowing there was little she could do to console him.

The boy blinked teary eyes at her. "Did you kill Rob first? I saw him go after you." She could only give a soft nod. He looked back at the fires and still burning remains, some people running frantically from them, their bodies aflame. "At least he didn't burn..." Whispered Sam as they flew away.


	10. Chapter 10

Diamond City, the greatest and largest settlement in the Commonwealth according to most. While some might have had a few things to say about the strict rules against certain kinds of people, forbidding ghouls and synths alike, there was no denying it was one of the safest places around. As Tessa walked through the gates into the former baseball stadium she found herself appreciating the fact that it was safe. At least here she didn't have to worry about Brotherhood retaliation, against herself and her friends.

It was perhaps midday by the time Tinker Tom had dropped her off nearby, and she'd made the short walk over to the settlement. She couldn't help but wonder if Curie had made it, and of the condition of the rest of her friends. The nagging sensation in the back of her mind that she'd messed up, that somehow she done something else to get them in trouble, wouldn't leave as she walked down the steps to the city below. The city was bustling with activity, security roaming around like dogs keeping a keen eye out for any kind of trouble as the citizens went out their business. She could see Piper's little sister, Nat, standing outside the Publick Occurrences waving newspapers trying to get someone to buy one. As she walked by the young girl, Nat gave Tessa a rather dirty look. The blonde woman cringed as she realized she was going to get an earful from the younger Wright.

"Hey Miss Grey," said Nat, hands on her hips, "Whatcha think you're doing getting my sister hurt like that?"

"It was an honest mistake," replied Tessa, "I couldn't see it was her."

"You're just lucky that she didn't get hurt like your other friend," warned the young girl.

Tessa sighed and shook her head. "You know I didn't mean for them to get injured. I'm sorry." Her eyes settled on the girl's face, innocence and a difficult world to be raised in clear upon her face. Nat was young, but she wasn't naive and weak like the children of Tessa's day. All she could see was Sam besides her, the boy's horror as she killed everyone he knew awash on his face. "I'm so sorry…" She whispered.

"Yeah I know... I just, I don't like them being hurt, and it's kinda your fault." Nat averted her gaze, frowning heavily. "Have you seen them? They got Curie over at the clinic last I knew, well I mean it's not really a clinic more like a doc stand but you know… It's something."

"No I haven't, but I'll head over there right now… I promise it won't happen again," vowed Tessa. Nat gave a resolute nod of her head, scrunching up her face some.

"It better not! Else I'll tell Piper she can't travel with you anymore!" She threatened, waggling a rolled up newspaper at her. While Tessa wasn't entirely certain that Piper would take her up on that offer, she was certain she would consider it, and that was a terrifying thought. Piper's whole world used to be just the paper and her sister, and while Tessa and Curie had come to occupy a decent portion of what mattered to the reporter, the word of her sister would carry a great amount of influence. Then the little girl's features softened, and she gave a small sigh. "I'm glad you're okay," she added, kicking a leg on the stand she was on top of awkwardly.

Tessa gave a small smile, and nodded her head. "Thanks."

"So… Did you blow up the Prydwen?" Nat asked, leaning towards her as far as she could before the crate tipped over. "Because that's what some people are saying."

Grimacing, Tessa gave a nod of her head. "I don't want to talk about it though."

Nat's eyes lit up like stars, and she gave a toothy grin. "I'm sure Sis'll get that info out of you soon enough," she remarked before she spotted someone else approaching the pair and pointed at him. "Hey you! Want to learn the truth about the Institute? It might just save your life!" Tessa gave a wave of her hand as she started to walk away, Nat absently calling goodbye after her as she tried to convince the man to buy an issue of the paper.

As the blonde started further into Diamond City she felt strange, disconnected almost. The voices of the excited townsfolk, either going about their daily business or discussing none other than the recent explosion over the bay, might as well have been miles away. Travis was reporting on what happened best he could over a radio, words jumbled as he admitted he didn't know much about what was going on but would do his best to find out.

They all grew still and watched her warily as she approached Doctor Sun. There was no confirmation after all, none of them could know for a fact that it was her, and yet in the time she had spent above the surface Tessa had proved again and again that there was almost nothing that could beat her. She was a force to be reckoned with, and something like this just reeked of her involvement.

The asian man was giving her a scowl as she approached, and he gestured for her to come close. "They're not here," he informed her before she could ask, "I believe they went to your house, they left about an hour ago."

"Thank you," Tessa said sincerely, "But how are they?"

"Piper is going to be fine, she needs maybe a week for her leg to heal completely but she will recover quite quickly. Your other friends, the man with the bad teeth and the vulgar woman, they will heal from whatever fight you dragged them into in about a week as well. Whoever tended to them before hand knew what they were doing."

Tessa chewed on her lip as he stopped, and she dared ask of the name she was most afraid for. "Curie?"

Doctor Sun sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. Tessa's stomach began to flip over itself as she waited. The entire flight back from the Prydwen had been filled with guilt over what she'd done, and worry for her friends and lovers. It had been impossible to keep them from her mind as she watched buildings and ruins whisk by, thoughts of if she could have tried harder to protect them plaguing her mind. If only she had kept Curie away from her, then she wouldn't have been hurt. If she'd just pushed her away instead of tried to shield her...

"Both of Curie's legs are broken, it will be months before she can walk again. There was exposed bone! Not to mention the burns she suffered from the explosion. I'm amazed she even survived, especially without proper medical care for so long."

"But she's going to be alright?" Asked Tessa softly.

"Well… if you care for her properly, and she avoids anything that might explode again… in time yes. A long, long amount of time. Though, she does seem like a resilient woman…" he trailed off, giving Tessa a knowing look. "Especially one of her size."

"Curie is tougher than she looks," carefully replied Tessa.

Doctor Sun gave a shake of his head. "Worry not, if you ask me she's in the same book as Nick. We've talked enough that I am sure she's harmless… I quite like discussing medical sciences with her. Though don't you think her accent is a bit obvious? Only nanny bots have those around here."

"Thank you," whispered Tessa, not commenting directly and highly grateful for his discretion. While Curie might have made a good impression on several members of the community, it certainly would be best that her true nature wasn't revealed. At least until the Institute was dealt with. "Is there anything else I should know?"

Rummaging through some bins, the doctor removed a package and offered it to her. "Med-X, for the pain. Be very careful, it might not be harmful like jet or mentats," he warned, "but she could develop a habit if you don't administer it properly."

"What do I owe you?" Tessa asked as she took it.

Doctor Sun gave a firm shake of his head. "Piper already took care of it, I just needed time to gather them. That's a three month supply right there."

"Thank you, seriously."

He waved off her gratitude with a shrug, "I wish I could have done more. Now go, I have others to tend to." Tessa looked over her shoulder to see a badly battered woman, exhaustion hanging in green eyes that were covered by harlequin black face paint that nearly reached her jaw. "What'd you fight now Texas?" Asked Doctor Sun as the muscular woman approached. "And remember, the dog stays out."

"O'Malley just wants to say hi," replied Texas, but briskly ordered the dark hound to stay away. Her eyes settled on Tessa who'd stepped aside. "Yer that Vault Dweller, aren't ya?" She gestured to the PipBoy Tessa wore. "Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"The Prydwen, ya blow it up?"

"Why does everyone think I did?" Challenged Tessa with a scowl.

"Because for the past few months, all anybody has heard about on the radio has been related to ya. Same with that girlfriend of yer's paper," retorted Texas, "So?"

Tessa's frown deepened as she shrugged. "A monster did."

"Monster?"

"Yeah, now if you'll excuse me," Tessa said as she turned and started walking away. She could feel the eyes of everyone in the marketplace watching her, questions bubbling behind confused faces. Some weren't sure what to make of the blonde as she walked to her home. Hesitance and fear mixed with hope and admiration, some rushing to get away while others wanted answers about the explosions in the east. Tessa ducked her head as she almost ran for the door to her house, and was relieved when no one attempted to follow her through as she entered.

However she hadn't been inside for even a moment before words began flying. "Tessa! You're alright!" Came MacCready's relieved voice, followed by Cait's laughter. Tessa blinked at the pair situated on the couch, bandages across their bodies. The disassembled sniper rifle on the coffee table in front of them was enough to clue her in on what they'd been up to, a rag nearby dirtied and well used. "Shit, I almost didn't think you'd made it."

"We heard about the explosion," added Cait, rising to her feet and limping slightly to Tessa. "Thought ya bit the dust. What took ya so long to get here?"

"Tinker Tom had to stash the vertibird, and figure out what to do with the squire," explained Tessa, a bit stunned. The house smelled peculiar, clean almost compared to the usual dusty musk that clung to it. She wasn't in it often, mostly just using it as a place to lay her head without having to pay extra caps for a lice-infested mattress who knew how many other travelers used. One thing she missed about the old days was sheets. Of course it did serve as a useful means of enjoying more intimate activities with her pair of lovers, who she couldn't see just yet.

"You managed to save one?" Asked MacCready, smiling brilliantly in relief before he realized what that meant. "What about the rest?" His smile melted away as he spoke.

A dark cloud moved across Tess's face at the question, her insides roiled with guilt. At least nine squires had burned on that ship, and who knew how many were on the ground beneath it when it exploded. She's just couldn't stop picturing them, ones she'd met in passing or actually taken out on training missions. Vaguely could she recall training Sam actually, though she could also remember it being a rather dull and uneventful patrol.

She sat down on the couch, her companions standing nearby, and stared down at her hands. "I couldn't save them," she whispered, "I tried but… I couldn't. "

The pair looked between each other and MacCready nodded his head to Cait who started limping away to the stairs that led to the bedroom above. As gently as he could, MacCready placed a hand on Tessa's shoulder. "You tried, that's what matters." He attempted to console her. "And you managed to save one right? It wasn't a total failure… Where's the kid now?"

"With the Railroad," replied Tessa, not really looking at herself anymore, staring a million miles beyond them now. "Des promised to keep him safe."

Before MacCready could respond Piper and Cait had arrived, the reporter limping with a brace on the leg she had been shot in. Tessa couldn't find use of her words as Piper's heavy gaze settled upon her before the brunet strode as quickly as she could over to them. Almost tackling her, Piper embraced Tessa who was quick to wrap her arms around her and pull her tight against her body. When she pulled back, Piper gave Tessa a kiss. "I've been so worried about you, are you okay? Did you see Doctor Sun?"

Tessa gave a nod and brushed a few stray hairs out of Piper's face. "I'm okay, and yes… he told me about Curie."

Piper averted her gaze, and slid off of Tessa's lap. "Yeah… It's certainly not good but it could have been worse. She could have been paralyzed or died."

"But she didn't, Curie is tough," encouraged MacCready.

"I'm sorry I didn't protect her," apologized Tessa, her gaze low.

"Don't be," argued Piper, "it's not your fault."

"Yes, it is."

Hazel eyes narrowed as Piper looked at her, and then took hold of Tessa's hand. "Can you guys give us a minute?" She asked.

"Yeah sure," said Cait, pushing MacCready's arm a bit. "We'll go get some chow, cya later." The redheaded woman started towards the door, the sniper giving a few half spoken words as he followed.

It wasn't until the door clicked shut that Piper began to talk, Tessa bracing herself for the lecture she assumed was coming. "Did you forget your promise?" She asked without anger. Tessa remained silent, her gaze lowered to the dirty floor. "The one you gave me at the boathouse?"

"No."

"Then you know what I'm going to say."

"Yes."

"Blue…" Piper started, before sighing. "I'm sorry."

Blinking,Tessa finally met her gaze. "What could you possibly be sorry about?"

"I want to help you, I wish I could do something to make it all better but I can't." Piper's grip on her hand tightened, and she struggled with what to say next. "I don't know how."

"Piper…" Tess cupped her face with her free hand, frowning. "I'm the one to blame for all this not you. If I had been smarter, if I hadn't been so desperate that I joined the Brotherhood things would be so different. I wouldn't have just betrayed comrades, I would have neutralized an enemy. It would be so much easier… But I did, and now I'm a traitor."

"We can't change what happened Blue."

"I know I know it's just- what if I'm not who I thought I was anymore? I killed children Piper!" She pulled away from the reporter and buried her face in her hands. "I killed people I once trusted with my life, I killed my friends… I killed Danse."

"Tessa," Piper said as she gently pulled her hands from her face, "stop it. You promised me you wouldn't do this to yourself, not again. You can't control everything, you're not to blame for everything that goes wrong every time. Sometimes things happen that you can't stop. You're forced to make decisions you otherwise wouldn't. Not every bad thing that happens is your fault."

"So I shouldn't be held accountable for killing them? For killing Danse?" Challenged Tessa.

"It's one thing for you to have killed him in battle when he's your enemy, and another to hunt him down and murder him. There was no option for talk, he made sure of that." Hesitating, Piper bit her lip before adding, "About Danse though, there's something you should know…"

"He was a synth," Tessa said swiftly, "I heard you talking. Cait's swearing woke me up."

"Of course it did," grumbled Piper before frowning at Tessa, "are you okay?"

"He didn't know what he was, no one did, and he hated synths as much as the America I knew hated China. There was no stopping him, he was going to kill me… I know I didn't have any other choice but I can't help but feel like I should have tried harder… I killed him Piper."

"Sometimes we're left with no other choice than to do terrible things. Everything that's gone on with the Brotherhood is just that. They refuse to believe ghouls and synths can be good, even with proof sleeping just above us. You chose to side with a group that gives hope to an enslaved people, that frees them. You're not trying to kill synths based on principal, if you ask me that's the good thing to do. If we did, we'd just be feeding into the fear and hate the Institute uses to keep us divided. Not to mention I think that's part of how we got to this world we live in now."

Tessa gave a heavy sigh and looked at her hands once more. "I don't want to hurt people, but it seems that's all I'm good at now."

"I don't know, you're pretty good with your hands," Piper replied, Tessa giving her a long look. Ordinarily she'd have thought those words were flirtatious but the mood was certainly lacking. "I've never seen someone so crafty before and it not be their job."

"Took some classes in college," said Tessa as she shook her head softly. "If I hadn't then I'd probably be dead. I had to learn how to protect you guys, and myself. It wasn't enough to keep Curie… or you safe."

"Rhys blew you and Curie up," countered Piper, "He did that to her not you. Unless you slapped her in power armor too, there was nothing more you could do, and we both know she cannot stand wearing it."

Gritting her teeth, Tessa rose to her feet and started to pace. "I could have immediately told her to get away, pushed her, something!" The moment was replaying itself in her head, again and again. There had to have been something she could have done, some way to take the blame.

"Blue, enough," said Piper firmly as she rose to her feet, holding onto the arm of the couch for support. "Why do you do this to yourself, why are you so hellbent on being the only one to blame? Shit happens, and it happened to Curie. She is alive, and she will recover, that's all that matters."

"I shot you!" Snapped Tessa, "You can't brush that under the rug! I did that, no one else." Jaw tight, Piper grew silent. "You're obviously angry about it so why haven't you just let me have it, I certainly deserve it! You asked for us to talk so let's talk!"

"Fine," briskly said Piper, her face guarded as she stood there, staring at Tessa calmly. "I'll keep it quick and to the point. How long have you been taking those chems?"

"That's what you care most about? Not that I just committed mass murder, to include of children?" Asked Tessa, waving a hand. "That I betrayed old friends and allies? You're not worried I'll do it again?"

"I've had plenty of time to think about that and come to terms with it. As much as I hate to admit it, destroying the Prydwen was the only way to defeat the Brotherhood, and even still what's left is probably going to try to kill you. You tried your best to save those kids and I'm sorry it didn't entirely work out but I know you did all you could so that's that. I'm not going to waste time on them. I also know you, and I know you didn't come to the conclusion of killing Danse easily so I know you're not just going to suddenly turn on us like some overwritten robot."

Tessa wanted to look away but Piper had fixed her with an unwavering gaze, keeping her in place. "What I care about is what you had a choice over, and that wasn't the Brotherhood. So how long have you been taking those chems?"

Sighing, Tessa gave a shameful shrug, her anger washing away. "First time I mistook some psycho for a stimpak. Stupid I know, but I couldn't really see in the dark and the gunners had me pinned down and desperate. This was before I even met Danse let alone you. Next thing I knew I felt like nothing could stop me and when it was over they were all dead. I didn't take any again for a few days, got curious about what happened, found some and tried it casually. Stupid ignorant me didn't even know what it was called. I started picking them up as I traveled figuring I could sell them but… fights got hard, I had people to protect, so I used."

"Covenant," said Piper, "you mentioned psychojet at the boathouse. You were high then too?"

"Not at first, I used it when the turrets started chewing through me… It made it easier to just shoot everyone though. I think, I think that's where things started to get bad. I- when I'm high I don't think about what I'm doing I just do it."

"So you feel it's not your fault, until your head is clear and then you try to take the blame for everything else that goes wrong even if you had nothing to do with it?"

Tessa frowned heavily, before giving a slow nod.

"Dammit Blue… I… You have to stop."

"Easier said than done."

"I know that," retorted Piper, anger slipping into her voice, "you think I don't? That's how I lost my mom!"

Tessa stepped back slightly. "You've never mentioned her before."

"Because I don't like to talk about her," said Piper, "But I guess I need to give you a cautionary tale. Mom was never happy, something had always been wrong. Dad tried to cheer her up but nothing ever worked. Instead she took chems, said they were why she got up in the morning. She'd use just about anything, but mentats were her favorite. Dad got her to stay clean while she was pregnant with Nat but I swear the day after she was born Mom was at it again. One day she just… gave up, took enough to kill herself. Nat was two."

"Piper…"

"She made her decision, we weren't enough to keep her clean or alive," Piper said swiftly, "I'm not stupid enough to deny that some chems can be helpful, that sometimes you do need an extra hand. What difference does it make if it might give you cancer if you'll die in a minute anyways? I get it… And I get why you used them in the church. What I don't get is why you're throwing us away for them."

"I'm not!"

"Then why didn't you tell us!" Demanded Piper, "You didn't tell us about Shaun being Director, or Mass Fusion and what you were doing in the Institute or about the chems! I get your secrecy rules with the Railroad but we love you and deserve to know if you're in trouble!"

"What the hell was I supposed to say? How do I explain I don't feel strong enough to protect anyone!" Screamed Tessa, the dam she'd built up breaking and everything came rushing forward. "I can't even trust myself anymore! I wanted to take those chems again and again, something, anything to take my mind off of what I was doing. I know I don't need them and yet I can't help but want them. If Curie hadn't taken them…" She trailed off, lowering her head with shame. "I don't deserve either of you."

Piper's anger ebbed, staring at her and trying to figure out the woman in front of her. With a grimace she limped over to Tessa and pulled her into a fierce hug. "Bullshit," she uttered, "look… Justbecause you've gotten yourself a nasty habit doesn't mean you're any less of a person. Curie and I are both lucky to have you!"

"What?"

Pulling back so the blonde could stare into her eyes, Piper gave her an encouraging smile. "Blue… Tessa… You're this rare, special kind of person. Maybe its because you're over two hundred years old, and was born before the Great War, but whatever it is there's hardly anyone like you. I try to be good, I struggle with it every day but it comes so naturally to you. I can be snarky and sarcastic and rude but I've seen you listen to an addict rant for hours about actual nonsense without so much as sighing. Curie is good too, but she's naive and doesn't realize just how bad it can be out here. There's just… been no room for that kindness lately."

"It used to be so easy," whispered Tessa, so tired she felt like she might collapse in Piper's arms.

"I know… Just, listen to me okay? I know that the woman I fell in love with is still inside of you, that you're still her. I told you before that you don't have to carry the load yourself, and I didn't just mean the gear. So if you face something like this you better promise me you won't hide it."

Tessa stared into her eyes, struggling to make that vow. Even with friends she was so used to carrying the burden herself. Was it selfishness or sacrifice? All she wanted was to protect them, to keep the family she had made together unlike the one she had lost. If she gave up control something could go wrong, and the haunting thoughts that she could have done something about it was already filling her head. But then she looked at Piper who was unwavering and realized how stupid she was being. At last she relented, and nodded her head. "Okay… No more secrets."

"Good, and the chems?"

Tessa stiffened a bit more, but with great effort nodded her head. "Done. No more."

"I'm afraid I'm gonna need something more substantial than words. How?"

Grimacing, Tessa sighed. "Vault 95… I'll go there. Cait described it as pain unlike any other but if… if it'll make things right then I will do it. I've been using for months, who knows how far gone I really am. A few system flushes probably did little."

"If addiction was that easy to beat no one would be addicted." Piper pressed a finger to her chest in warning. "And if you ever use again I will run your underwear up Castle's flagpole and make sure everyone knows what the General of the Minutemen wears."

"You wouldn't."

"I would," said Piper. "Remember, share the burden, get clean, no more secrets. Is that understood?"

"Yes ma'am," vowed Tessa.

A warm smile drew across the brunet's face, and Piper pulled her in for a kiss. "I thought I might have lost you," she painfully admitted when she pulled back.

"Me too," whispered Tessa as she gave a smile, relief blossoming out from her chest. Despite all that had happened she felt hope filling her. Kissing the shorter woman softly, she was perhaps most relieved to find she hadn't lost Piper. "I love you."

Piper gave her a pained smile in return, and a soft nod. "I love you too."

A bit disheartened, yet not at all surprised, Tessa gestured upstairs. "Can I see Curie?"

Piper gave a nod of her head, and intertwined their hands as she led the way to the stairs in the house. Resting in the bed up top was Curie, her legs bandaged and braced into makeshift casts, Tessa suddenly wishing for the medical facilities of old. The grief and guilt that had been feeling her rose quickly, but she swallowed it down as Piper squeezed her hand, reminding her she wasn't alone.

The synth looked up at her with tired dark eyes, and glanced nervously between the pair. "All is well? I heard shouting…" She asked softly.

"Got a few promises out of her," said Piper with a smile, "everything is going to be alright."

Sighing in relief, Curie gave them a brilliant smile. "Good! Madame, how are you? The Brotherhood of Steel is defeated yes?"

Walking over, Tessa tried to give her as genuine a smile as she could. "The Prydwen is no more, and with that gone the Brotherhood will be scattered and their capacity to act minimized… and I'm very, very tired."

Curie patted the side of the bed that was free, and smiled tentatively. "Would you like to join me?"

"Are you sure?"

"Why would I not?" Replied Curie. Smiling, Tessa settled onto the bed and Curie snuggled against her the best she could without disturbing her legs which were resting on pillows and raised. Tessa gave her a kiss, and the synth bubbled with soft laughter. "I am most glad you are safe," said Curie. "Piper?" She looked to where the woman was still standing.

"I'm gonna have to pass Doc," she said apologetically, "I need to go see Nat."

"Oh, alright…"

Tessa looked as the reporter lingered, hurt still swirling in hazel eyes. She was certain that no matter how many times they talked, until she had been to Vault 95 and finished her business with the Institute, things would be different between them. As saddened as she was by the thought, she couldn't blame her either. Tessa gave a soft sigh as Piper started down the steps, slow thanks to her brace. "I'm sorry," apologized Tessa, Curie frowning softly.

"Are you willing to get better?" Tessa mutely nodded. "Then all is forgiven." With a start, Tessa felt the tears dampen her eyes but she was too exhausted to do anything to stop them. Smiling brokenly as she began to weep, Tessa wiped her eyes with a hand. "What is wrong?" A distressed Curie asked, terrified she had upset her.

"Nothing… I just wish everyone could be like you…" Assured Tessa, looking at the still caring synth with two broken legs. "The Commonwealth would be a much better place." Tears still flowed though they came silently, and Tessa leaned her head back to rest. "If it's all the same to you, I'd like to sleep now."

"Of course," replied Curie as she shifted about to get comfortable enough to rest.

Tessa gave a sigh of relief, wiping her eyes dry now. "I love you," she said, after they'd gotten comfortable.

"I love you too… are you sure you're alright?"

Smiling like an idiot, Tessa stared up at the rusty metal roof. "Not in the slightest…. But I will in time."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

**END**

 


End file.
